Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Unprepared dinner hosts

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leaf_eater:
Some new friends of mine have a habit of being unprepared for dinner guests. For example, last time we were invited over for 7 pm dinner and when we arrived the cook was just starting his preparations - for Indian food. I had brought a dessert (with this couple, dessert is what they suggested when I asked each of the 3 times we've been over). Dinner took him until after 9 pm to cook and the only thing available was a plate of cookies they had set out on a table. At about 8:30, I broke down and ate a cookie because I was so hungry as we typically eat dinner between 5 and 6. But frankly, a cookie is not what I want as an appetizer before Indian food. Plus the cook doesn't get to socialize unless you go into the kitchen and chat, at which point he stops cooking and chats. Finally, each time we've been there a substantial part of the meal gets left unprepared due to lack of time or being forgotten, making for not only a late but also rather skimpy meal. With the Indian meal, he forgot to put the frozen pre-made samosas in the oven during the two plus hours he was cooking.

When they come here, they always comment on how together I am, with everything prepared and ready to serve at the appropriate time. So, it's not like they aren't aware of this issue. I'm wondering if I should offer to make an appetizer next time to avoid this issue? My concern is that I've clearly been designated the "dessert bringer" and that it would be rude to switch tracks on them.

VorFemme:
Think of it as self preservation and bring the durned appetizers.

I have recently had to start eating as if I were diabetic (insulin resistance issues).  DeHubby is still adjusting to my needing to eat SOMETHING ever three hours on a schedule.  *HE* doesn't need to keep an eye out for when it is time to eat.  So he doesn't.  And it bothers him when I want to stop and buy an "overpriced" chicken salad or Chinese takeout so that I get something close to what I am supposed to be eating.

Take the appetizers and a dessert - if you don't mind bringing two things.

Chocolate Cake:
Definitely eat ahead of time before you go next time or bring the appetizer.   I'd probably even go so far as to say, "You've invited us to arrive at 7:00; what time do you anticipate we'll sit down to eat?"

twinkletoes:
I definitely second eating something before going over.  Not much, as you don't want to spoil your appetite, but some crackers or a small piece of fruit can really help. 

If they ask you to bring anything, maybe you could say "Oh, there is this lovely new appetizer I've been dying to try.  Mind if I bring that?" 

I do have to say, the hosts' behavior drives me nuts, as something similar has happened to me.  The hostess in question is an accomplished cook, so it's well worth the wait...but it drives me nuts that she doesn't have food set out for us, and "dinner at 6" tends to mean "dinner at 8 - if we're lucky!'

leaf_eater:
I actually did have a small snack last time before going over but I guess it wasn't enough to tide me over. I think I will bring both next time, using the "lovely new appetizer" line. Thanks!

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