You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92

[blarg314]

Honestly, I think laughing was the best thing you could do - it clearly indicates to both her and everyone around that her assertions are totally off the wall and that she's being ridiculous.

I figure if someone is flat-out unwilling to meet with their spouse's same sex friend and partner in a social situation, then they waive any legitimacy behind their claims of seduction, inappropriate behaviour, or other issues. 

[nolechica]

I'm not married, but are you sure BFB isn't my best friend?  His girlfriends always treated me strangely, but he never saw it, as they were his lover, but I was his best friend.  If I'd wanted to be a threat, it would've happened.

[hannahmollysmom]

The Ex. always said it didn't matter about the male friends I had prior to meeting him as long as I didn't sleep with them. That wasn't true. He was extremely jealous. If I bought sexy underwear he would question who I bought them for. How about him or me because I wanted to feel sexy! Very insecure. The marriage was going downhill when I ran into a friend (before Ex.) who was down on his luck. Lost his 20 year job, didn't know anyone in the area, etc. Me, being the "Social Worker" type, took this person under her wing. Nothing romantic involved. After 17 years of being accused of having affairs, (never did) I left.

In conclusion of my novel,  ::)It is very difficult for an unsecure person and a secure person, that you obviously are, to have a relationship without the unsecure person always being suspcious. If you cannot have confidence in your mate, then things will not work out. It gets very old, fast!

[KarenH]

When I was in the Army, we active duty females would occasionally be accused of romping with the married males while we were out in the field.

Imagine, if you will, heading to the Bavarian mountains (along the border of the Czech Republic, rather than the Alps, but still...) in January, when there's been snow on the ground since the beginning of October, and the 6 foot tall road markers stick out about a foot from the snow cover.  You're going to be out there in a canvas tent and if you're lucky, you'll have a pot bellied stove.  But you might not.  Or it might malfunction.  You're not going to be seeing the inside off a bathroom (or even latrine) for the duration (usually about 2 weeks, but sometimes 3).  Fortunately, it's the 80s, so you still have a steel pot (helmet) that you can use for a wash basin....in REALLY cold water.

anyone who thinks these conditions are even REMOTELY conducive to s*e*x*ing it up with the boys: average daily high temps of about 20 below (F), no bath for the next two weeks...is clearly smoking the GOOD stuff and should be sharing, not accusing you of harlotry.  Even the momentary advantage of sharing body heat is overcome and surpassed by the ewwwwww of making the showerless conditions worse.

My usual response was an eyeroll and, "Lady, not even on a BET..."  Whether they believed me or not?  I dunno.  But it wasn't worth the effort of working that hard for.

[lady_disdain]

Your story sounds so familiar...

I went to military college. 100 guys, 10 gals. In my class, 20 guys and little old me. Yup, a lot of jealous girlfriends. One of them would continously erase my number from her BF phone (really great, specially when he has to give me an urgent message from the captain and suddenly he doesn't have my number) and e-mails in his inbox (because, of course, asking him how to solve a triple integral in an imaginary field is a code for hanky-panky).

[Warbaby]

Thank all of you present and former servicewomen for giving this retired SFC the best laugh of the whole week!

First of all, hanky-panky with a fellow servicemember felt waaay too much like lusting after one's own sister to me and most other men.

Second, POD on field conditions.  KarenH, been there, done that, and got the t-shirt.  I think you and I must have been in Germany at pretty close to the same areas, but at different times.

Last, but not least, in my entire career, I think I only met one female soldier that destroyed any respect I might have had for her and it wasn't hanky-panky that did it.

For the record:  I think all the women who have what it takes to put on that uniform are beautiful.  Even covered in jet fuel, grease, and smelling of Kiwi shoe polish!

[afbluebelle]

Slightly interesting non update:

We all might be going to Vegas this month! I wonder who she will worry about more, the fancy ladies or this dirty one?

In all seriousness, I was talking to another friend of mine from training days and his wife.  Friend's wife said that at first she was pretty jealous and intimidated by the women in his shop, because they know and share a huge part of her husband's life, and have an understanding of it that she will never have.  I guess it makes a little bit more sense... but I'm still boggled by it.

[Ondine]

I hope all goes well for you, afbluebelle. I don't get the jealousy thing either - I mean, I've been jealous of other women my ex was hanging out with, but that's because 99% of the time, they were doing a lot more than just going for coffee together. My b/f now has female friends, and I'm cool with that, because he's open and honest with me. I have male friends, and he trusts me - it's all about trust.

I wonder if her jealousy doesn't stem from other factors, and you are just the person (conviently for her) there for her to point the finger at?

Oh and btw - you do have a pic of yourself in uniform somewhere here, and you look smokin' in camo.

[Warbaby]

Slightly interesting non update:

We all might be going to Vegas this month! I wonder who she will worry about more, the fancy ladies or this dirty one?

In all seriousness, I was talking to another friend of mine from training days and his wife.  Friend's wife said that at first she was pretty jealous and intimidated by the women in his shop, because they know and share a huge part of her husband's life, and have an understanding of it that she will never have.  I guess it makes a little bit more sense... but I'm still boggled by it.

You've hit the nail on the head!  Our comrades-in-arms, of whatever gender, share something that no one who has never been there can ever fully understand.  I will also say that, in some respects, there is a closer relationship there than many husbands and wives have.  My guess is that it's the knowledge deep within each of us who have worn, or are wearing, the uniform, that our very lives depended on the guy or girl next to us.

[KarenH]

Second, POD on field conditions.  KarenH, been there, done that, and got the t-shirt.  I think you and I must have been in Germany at pretty close to the same areas, but at different times.

Probably.  I was with the 501st MI BN (out of the 1st Armored Division) back in the early 80s--1981-1983.

[littleoats]

I have a theory that people push their faults on other people.  My mother is a chronic liar and she always assumes others are lying to her.  I doubt she's cheating but I think she might have a somewhat flirtatious relationship going on with a male friend and she assumes that you're doing that same.  She's probably threatened because you've done stuff with him that she couldn't possibly and have bonds with him that she really can't understand.

I wouldn't laugh at her because she'll probably take that as a coverup.  Just calmly explain that you're just friends and explain why you really couldn't think of him that way.

[blarg314]

I have a theory that people push their faults on other people.  My mother is a chronic liar and she always assumes others are lying to her. 

That's definitely true, and it works the other way too. Someone who is honest and transparent and automatically treats their partner with respect and consideration tends to expect the other person to do the same, and can get blindsided when someone turns out to be a total creep. People who cheat tend to assume their partner will do so given the opportunity, people who are faithful will assume that their partner will be the same way.

That links into my theory about straight guys who are really paranoid about being near gay guys, on the assumption that they're going to try to take advantage of them. The straight guy is generally of the type who tends to look at a woman and think "gee, I wonder what she'd be like in bed/naked" as the first response. So he figures a gay guy is naturally going to react the same way to all other men, and as the straight guy is such a stud muffin, the gay guy *obviously* wants him and will make a move. It can be kind of funny to watch at times.

[afbluebelle]

Rawr... Here I am doing my best Shakira dirty seductress pose.

[Scritzy]

I'm too sexy for my fuel ... too sexy for my grease ... too sexy for my mud, TOO SEXY!

Sorry, couldn't resist.

[gibsongirl]

Woo HOO!!!  FWEEEET!  and other whistle noises...