Author Topic: What an interesting assumption...  (Read 2260 times)

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RocketScientist

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What an interesting assumption...
« on: April 02, 2008, 02:48:24 PM »
.. on my part.  :-[

Last night, during the dinner clean up, DF and I were discussing our common view of the absurdity of cheating on your spouse or SO, ala jhantee's recent thread about calling off her wedding.

So I was waxing on and on about about how even though the wedding planning had been stressing me out lately I had no doubts about wanting to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him, and that when (during one of my wedding planning rants) he had said that we didn't have to do this if it was this stressful, I told him, no, I didn't want to call off the wedding as I knew it was just that one day that was stressing me out and that whenever I thought of the what was to follow the wedding - the marriage - I got that warm, fuzzy feeling that was both exciting and calming at the same time, and that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I wanted to -

DF interrupted me.  "Wait.  You thought I was saying to call off the wedding?"
Rocket: "Well, that, or maybe you would want to postpone it."
DF:  "Uh, I was actually suggesting that we elope instead."
Rocket.  "Oh.  Um... oops.  My bad."
DF:  "Wait!  You were actually okay with that assumption?!"

I tried to backpedal and reassure him that I had never doubted him or his desire to marry me, but really, I put my foot in it.  Cue DF's random muttering at odd moments throughout the evening, "I can't believe you wanted to call off the wedding!" and "After four years together, you'd think she would have learned not to assume!"  I did manage to molify him by bedtime with lots of random kisses and by exclaiming over his new Toughbook work laptop. 

This is not the first time I've assumed he meant one thing when he meant another.  So, new resolution for me: work on communication with DF to minimize my interesting assumptions.

Seven Ate Nine

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Re: What an interesting assumption...
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2008, 11:32:53 PM »
Assuming (yes, I see the irony in that one word) that you had told your DF about the aforementioned thread or that you were discussing others calling off their weddings, it wasn't that far of a leap to make.  I think on this one your DF is the one who needs to work on the communication ;)

Asha

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Re: What an interesting assumption...
« Reply #2 on: April 15, 2008, 10:24:26 AM »
For what it's worth, you aren't alone.  I've done this with my BF several times and each time I resolve to assume less.  The good news is that it seems to be working - slow in coming, but coming nonetheless!

Mrs. Pilgrim

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Re: What an interesting assumption...
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2008, 05:49:55 PM »
DF interrupted me.  "Wait.  You thought I was saying to call off the wedding?"
Rocket: "Well, that, or maybe you would want to postpone it."
DF:  "Uh, I was actually suggesting that we elope instead."

Correct me, please, if I misunderstand.  If one elopes, one doesn't have a standard wedding, but rather a quick ceremony held pretty much in private with few to no witnesses?

If so, then wouldn't a suggestion that one elope be something akin to proposing not to have a "wedding"?

But either way, don't beat yourself up over this.  It sounds like a perfectly understandable misunderstanding on your part.  You don't have to read each other's minds!
"Use the proper word, not its second cousin." --Mark Twain, Fenimore Cooper's Literary Offenses