I have someone in my life (my husband's daughter) who constantly borrows my car and makes me feel guilty and selfish when I express discomfort with letting her.
Even when I say no, she asks shortly thereafter with an air of "since you didn't do it last time, you have to do it this time." She has not learned just to not ask.
I feel trapped into having to lend it out or be the wicked stepmother. Its not personal though. I've never ever lent my car out my whole life. In fact my husband's son in law (both his daughters are in their 30s) is the same type as me, he doesn't lend his car out either. But he doesn't get yelled at for "being threatened by the family." Non car-lenders do exist and I've never felt it was an irrational personal choice before. Like I said, its not personal. I work full time and have finally gone back to college. I'm busy. I don't want to keep a chart on my door of when my car will be available and when it won't.
My husband doesn't understand what the big deal is and thinks I should do it just so I don't look spiteful. Its true, not looking spiteful is a good thing, but an even better thing is being able to go to the library when I want to (when I actually get a few hours to spare.) How can I get my husband and his kids to understand that "no" has to start meaning "no" on this issue? I am very close to calling it in stolen next time it is borrowed but I know that won't help.