General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

And people wonder why their children are not well behaved...

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keelhaulrose:
Since I've been working with pre-school aged children, I've noticed that many parents could really care less if you tell them that their little angel has been hitting other children or throwing tantrums. In fact, many children do these things right in front of their parents, but get no discipline. And of course when out on home visits parents wonder why their kid is running wild. That's a subject I could go on for days about, but I'm posting because of a particular case that came up recently.
Part of my job capacity is to work one-on-one with a child with severe handicaps. This is so the child can do some of the basic things that many children can already do, like say their ABCs or count to ten, or even grasp a spoon. Well our preschool recently had parents in for a little time with their children (something that many parents seem to have the attitude that that's why they're at the preschool, to get away from them). One mother came in. Now this woman's child is somewhat of a classroom bully. They hit, shove, and manipulate to get what they want, which works on the other children and their mother, but not on the teachers and aides. When the child punched another child at this family time, the mother said that because she didn't see it, it didn't happen. Great attitude lady.
The parents of the child I'm working one-on-one with couldn't make it, so I was working on helping them keep their focus on the activities. The mother watched this for a few minutes, then interrupted the group to demand loudly that her child get a one-on-one aide as well. The teacher said that she'd discuss this at a later date with the mother, but the woman kept demanding, practically yelling about how it's not fair that someone else's child get's individual attention, and her's doesn't. She ranted for fifteen minutes, making it impossible to do the activity with the children and other parents, and she tried to get the other parents riled up enough to demand aides for their children as well.
Some parents... and she later wondered why her child threw a hissy and screaming fit when they didn't get what they wanted during free time...

sammycat:
Sadly, I can believe every word of what you've written as I have witnessed very similar things myself, although demanding that each child have their own aide does kind of take the cake.

I have 2 children in primary school and have been involved with the school in a parent volunteer capacity since the older one started grade 1.  It never ceases to amaze me that the kids who are the worst behaved 95% of the time are the ones whose parents either never take an interest, except to complain to the school about perceived slights, or they allow their child/ren to run rampant.  Earlier this year I went on a field trip and had a boy in my group whom I'd never met before, and quite frankly, would like to have kept it that way.  He was just so badly behaved it was unbelievable.  Since then I have see him behave the same way right in front of his mother many times and she has never ONCE tried to discipline him.

Sometimes I wonder whether it's the students or the parents that cause more anguish for the teachers these days.

Chocolate Cake:
I've run into this also, just as a parent whose child is in now middle school.  The kids who are constant trouble-makers in class and who receive D's and F's are almost always the ones whose parents never show up for P/T conference, don't supervise their kid's time and, if anyone ever complains about their child's behavior, will scream that their child couldn't possibly have done anything wrong.   We have one mother in our neighborhood whose two teenage boys have been rotten since they were old enough to walk/talk because of her apathy and neglect.  Of course, they NEVER do anything wrong...it's always someone else that is trying to unfairly point the finger at her "angels".   

I've got news for her:  Her angels are going to end up spending their life in prison because of her bad parenting.

Alida:
It's very sad.  We're fortunate that this area seems to have an abnormally high percentage of parents participating in activities at schools. 

However, I do remember a friend of my daughter's (this friend is not a bad kid, but far from a good student) who came racing up to me and my husband at an event at school.  She wanted to be sure that he and I saw the project she had to show for the event. 

Neither of her parents could be bothered to make it - I KNOW her mother was home, too.  I felt so bad for that child.

sammycat:

--- Quote from: AlidaDmed on December 09, 2006, 07:11:08 PM ---It's very sad.  We're fortunate that this area seems to have an abnormally high percentage of parents participating in activities at schools. 

However, I do remember a friend of my daughter's (this friend is not a bad kid, but far from a good student) who came racing up to me and my husband at an event at school.  She wanted to be sure that he and I saw the project she had to show for the event. 

Neither of her parents could be bothered to make it - I KNOW her mother was home, too.  I felt so bad for that child.

--- End quote ---

I know what you mean.  There are a few kids in my son's class who will come up to me now and show me their stuff, tell me their news or give me hugs etc.  I find it a bit embarrasing to tell the truth as I am NOT the teacher and shouldn't be given the reverence that they also give the teacher (they absolutely love her), nor should I be privvy to their personal lives.  Sometimes I think I spend far too much time in that classroom...

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