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Author Topic: "Is it new?"  (Read 7733 times)

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Twik

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"Is it new?"
« on: February 22, 2007, 08:03:43 PM »
This is one of the recent additions this month:

I am at my new job for about 7 months now and I'm always known to be very trendy so I do get quite a few compliments on my daily attire. I have this one co-worker that annoys me whenever she compliments me on something. She would say i.e. nice shoes... is it new?? She asks me the question "is it new' about 10 times already and I've never responded thinking she could read between the lines (None of your business!!!) I think that it's so tacky don't get me wrong I don't mind the compliment but please don't ask me is it new???!!! If she had ask me 'oh I like your shoes where did you buy them? Then that's is totally different and I would definitely understand that. I want to say to her without being too harsh "what does it matter to you if what I'm wearing is new or not" Tell me if I'm being too harsh. I wouldn't even ask my own sister that question and we are close.

Tell ME, please, why is "Is it new?" such a horrible question to ask? One that one couldn't even ask one's own sister? I must be a terrible person, because I recall I have, from time to time, mentioned to co-workers, "That's a nice [whatever] - is it new?"
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Harriet Jones

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Re: "Is it new?"
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2007, 08:08:08 PM »
I don't see it as offensive, but I think the writer's probably feeling over-scrutinized by her coworker.  It could be that, rightly or not, she's getting a "you spend too much money on your clothes" vibe from her.

Evil Duckie

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Re: "Is it new?"
« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2007, 08:47:02 PM »
It does not read offensive, but depending on how the question is asked it could be very offensive by the asker being PA about the writer dressing trendy.

I think that this is one of those things you need to be there or hear what it going on to know.

Twik

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Re: "Is it new?"
« Reply #3 on: February 22, 2007, 08:54:14 PM »
I can't quite figure out why "Is it new?" so offends the writer, when "Where did you buy it?" would, according to the post, not trouble her at all. The second question seems to be much more intrusive, to my mind.
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caranfin

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Re: "Is it new?"
« Reply #4 on: February 23, 2007, 12:31:51 PM »
I can't quite figure out why "Is it new?" so offends the writer, when "Where did you buy it?" would, according to the post, not trouble her at all. The second question seems to be much more intrusive, to my mind.
I guess if someone asked over and over it would be annoying, as if they were implying you were a shopaholic, but I agree - "where did you buy it" is just as intrusive.
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NEDESAPIO

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Re: "Is it new?"
« Reply #5 on: February 23, 2007, 02:56:49 PM »
I don't mind being asked where I bought something (though I think the polite way to phrase this kind of question is not 'Where did you buy it?' but 'May I ask where you bought it?').  I think a really rude question would be "How much did it cost?"

Someone asking "Is it new" once is okay, but I could see how it would get annoying if asked again and again, or about every item of clothing you own.

pryncsskittyn

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Re: "Is it new?"
« Reply #6 on: February 23, 2007, 03:30:21 PM »
My first thought is that there seems to be an issue over how much money she might be spending on new clothing?  Maybe it will cause a disagreement within the work place regarding how much money one makes?  I'm confused also, I don't get how "Is it new?" Could be taken as offensive, it sounds to me like it's a way to start a general conversation, open the window for something larger...  "Yes, actually, I was at the mall this weekend"... you know what I'm saying?
I can't imagine getting offended by something like that.

Squeaks

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Re: "Is it new?"
« Reply #7 on: February 23, 2007, 03:40:36 PM »
IF asked too often it could be a sign of a judgment on her for shopping too much, spending too much money,

It could also be uncomfortable for some in a work setting because they could be worried it hints a little too much at how much money is being made.

Over all “is it new” does not seem too bad – if she is regarded as a fashion expert “is it new” is likely to mean is this the new look, or new fashion or new this season.

It also can be a way to strike up conversation i.e. “is it new” “why yes I found this great shop . . “ or “yes it with my birthday gift”  etc. 

It also can mean “I don’t think I have seen that before”   

SnugsMom

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Re: "Is it new?"
« Reply #8 on: February 23, 2007, 06:52:41 PM »
I don't see it as offensive, but I think the writer's probably feeling over-scrutinized by her coworker.  It could be that, rightly or not, she's getting a "you spend too much money on your clothes" vibe from her.

I agree and it may have to do with some jealousy or competitiveness over differences in salary.  Perhaps the author knows she makes more money than the coworker and feels the "Is it new?" implies that she unfairly makes more money.

It could also be that the writer doesn't make that much money and maybe has a husband or boyfriend that may be funding the clothes, and she's defensive about that?

freakyfemme

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Re: "Is it new?"
« Reply #9 on: February 23, 2007, 09:30:16 PM »
I don't think it's rude.  If you see someone every day, then after a while, you become familiar with their wardrobe, at least the clothes they wear to work (or school, or wherever you happen to see them).  So, if you see them wearing something that isn't part of their regular rotation, it'd be perfectly ordinary to ask "is it new?"

TootsNYC

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Re: "Is it new?"
« Reply #10 on: June 06, 2008, 11:13:14 PM »
I sometimes say "is it new?" as code-speak for "have I missed a previous opportunity to compliment you on it?"

And sometimes I mean "are you enjoying that 'new clothes' feeling?"

Lately I try to ask *those* specific questions, bcs this is not the first time i've seen someone self-conscious over that question.

I don't *ever* mean "did you go out and spend too much money?"

I once saw an Ann Landers letter by someone who bought her clothes at thrift stores and found the question "is it new?" offensive because she didn't want to answer "no, it's used."



snowflake

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Re: "Is it new?"
« Reply #11 on: June 09, 2008, 10:31:34 AM »
I can see it as annoying.  At some point I'd be thinking, "It wasnt' the last fifty times I wore this so stop asking already!"  But I don't think that's a rude question.

Ant V

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Re: "Is it new?"
« Reply #12 on: June 15, 2008, 08:21:40 PM »
Maybe the item is new to the asker.  I can't see where it's a rude question myself.  It's almost as nothing as the passing "how are you?". 
If the same question is asked repeated about the same item, it's still probably not rude, but it could be a little boring. 

hobish

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Re: "Is it new?"
« Reply #13 on: June 15, 2008, 08:33:19 PM »

Asking once or twice, no big deal. Asking repeatedly, well, i can see how someone may take that as a comment on their spending habits. My thought is that the person asking probably does so out of habit and probably doesn't intend anything by it; but who knows?

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