Hosting a Party with 10 Couples

[rsc35749]

I was asked by my sister in law to help host a party for our niece who is getting married in April.  The only communication I have heard on this party is my brother in law called my husband and asked for money.  The party is March 10th and I still have heard nothing, not even an invitation for the party.  Do I just not show up!  I do not even know where the party is being held.  The drive is 2 hours from my house and on top of that my 13 year old son will not be welcome!  It's a GROWN UP PARTY!  I guess drinking around a child at a party is different than drinking around him at the wedding reception!  What should I do??? or   

[Shoo]

You've been asked to finance a party to which you are not even invited?

First of all, it is not YOUR responsibility to pay for a party your inlaws are hosting.  Good Heavens!

It sounds like they want to throw a party they can't afford, and have come up with a way to get others to pay for it.  They should be ashamed of themselves, but I bet they think they're just very clever.

Certainly you should not be handing over any money for this shindig.  To do so will only confirm their misguided notion that this is the proper way to treat their relatives.  I can only imagine what their behavior will be like when the actual wedding rolls around.

Just curious.....how does your dh feel about paying for this party?  And about the non-existent invitation to said party?

So, to answer your question, yes.  You should just not show up.  Consider yourself lucky to not be dragged further into this debacle.

[rsc35749]

My dh is with me all the way.  It's my husbands, brothers, wife.  I have tried numerous times to contact her and only get voice mail and leave messages with no return.  I think for now I will close my mouth and after the party is past and they say "Why were you not at the party?"  I will kindly explain how would you feel if I treated you this way???

[Chocolate Cake]

Haev you already paid?

[rsc35749]

NO WAY!!!

[Chocolate Cake]

Good, then just ignore the whole thing.  Stop calling, stop emailing, etc.   If she calls back asking for the money, you'll know what the answer is:   "This isn't something we can do.  Why not host an event you can afford instead?"

[Rose2Bear]

Yeah I agree with Chocolate Cake, if you havn't paid yet (phew, lucky you!) I'd just ignore the whole think - if they question you afterwards, you have a very good reason for not attending - you never got an invitation with the necessary information.

[ZipTheWonder]

"Why were you not at the party?" 

Give an honest answer: "If you're talking about Niece's engagment party, I never received an invitation or any information about the party."

The fact that she's ignored your calls and emails tells me that she's not that eager to have you either co-host or attend.  It tells me that she was eager to have you help fund.