Author Topic: "You must be anorexic."  (Read 14867 times)

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Punky B.

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"You must be anorexic."
« on: April 25, 2008, 02:11:36 PM »
As some background, I have a super high metabolism that requires I eat several meals a day.  I am ALWAYS eating something at my desk, but I try to be discrete.  I also have blood sugar problems that do not allow me to eat the regular treats the office regularly enjoys, such a donuts, ice cream, or chocolates- anything sugary, I avoid.  Due to my health issues, I look underweight, but my doctor says I am fine and to keep it up.

I find myself in the position of turning down treats at the office a lot- my standard reply is "No, thank you."  I usually have to repeat myself a few times as no one can believe that I am turning down ice cream/ginormous chocolate cake/donuts dripping with icing.  Believe me, if there was a way to accept I would, and it really doesn't help to have everything waved under my nose every ten minutes.

Recently, office boor (OB) has  made it a mission to make me eat anything and everything that comes through.  OB puts out the treats on my desk (I'm the front desk lady  :)) and when I move them to the break room he complains.  Lately, he has taken to having the following conversation with me every time he brings something in:

OB: "So, you going to have some of that chocolate ice cream waffle pancake surprise?"
Me: "No thank you." (Keeps typing away.)
OB: "It's good- would put some weight on you."
Me: (Wondering why the e-hell he cares about my weight): "I don't eat sweets, but thanks for your offer."
OB:  "You must be anorexic then."
Me: *blink blink*: "What an interesting assumption."

I'm going to HR this afternoon to see if we can keep the sweets in the break room from now on, and to lodge a complaint about OB- he managed to infer I had an eating disorder three times last week.  >:(   I was hoping to politely ignore him, but I've really had enough.

Bob Ducca

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Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #1 on: April 25, 2008, 02:29:25 PM »
I think you did a lot better than I would have...

"Why do you care about my weight?"

"Oh, are you a doctor?"

"It certainly worked for you."  (Okay, too far.)

I think you should report him to HR.  Your health conditions are your business, and you shouldn't have to trumpet them in order to refuse food.

Why would anyone think this is okay?

wheeitsme

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Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2008, 03:33:50 PM »
I've known several people with really high metabolisms.  The men are never questioned.  One of the women asked me once why people think that it is okay for people to tell her she's too skinny when no one would ever go up to some one and say "you're too fat".  I commiserated, but didn't have an answer for her.

And until I actually met someone with a high metabolism, I thought it would be great to have.  Now, not so much.  People with high metabolisms have to eat so much just to stay healthy!  I'm sure your grocery bill is through the roof!

Punky B.

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Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #3 on: April 25, 2008, 04:13:32 PM »

I have more of a savoury than a sweet tooth (cheeese...yum....), so when someone offers me something sweet I tend to turn it down, and explain why
('thanks, but I'm not big on chocolate  :)'
'really??!! :o'
'yes. I prefer savoury stuff...like cheeeeesssseeee' '
ah. ok. *weirdo*'
- ok maybe not the last part  ;))

Shuts people up who want to make comments, and helps other people bring Punky-geared treats  :P

That's a good idea!  I was also thinking of bringing in some treats myself, things I can eat like nuts and potato chips- at least I would get to partake too then, lol!

Punky B.

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Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #4 on: April 25, 2008, 04:18:18 PM »
I've known several people with really high metabolisms.  The men are never questioned.  One of the women asked me once why people think that it is okay for people to tell her she's too skinny when no one would ever go up to some one and say "you're too fat".  I commiserated, but didn't have an answer for her.

And until I actually met someone with a high metabolism, I thought it would be great to have.  Now, not so much.  People with high metabolisms have to eat so much just to stay healthy!  I'm sure your grocery bill is through the roof!

"You're so skinny!  You must eat more!"

I get that a lot and have the same thought- it would certainly not be okay to say "You're way to fat!  Stop it!" so why is the opposite fine? ;)

It does cost extra, I have to make sure I have lots of snacks high in protein, and that dinner is balanced enough to fill me up, but light enough so I can eat again in a while- argh.  But I do love food, and I've learned some interesting recipes to add variety. :)

Punky B.

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Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #5 on: April 25, 2008, 04:19:15 PM »
II think you should report him to HR.  Your health conditions are your business, and you shouldn't have to trumpet them in order to refuse food.

Why would anyone think this is okay?

I have an appointment with HR this afternoon- I'll post an update when I find out what the plan is.

Bibliophile

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Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #6 on: April 25, 2008, 04:23:01 PM »
Are other foods allowed outside of the breakroom?  If so, then it seems just a bit PA to limit sweets to the breakroom.  But the guy is rude and I'd talk to HR about that, but not banning the sweets to the breakroom...

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Punky B.

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Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #7 on: April 25, 2008, 04:30:50 PM »
Are other foods allowed outside of the breakroom?  If so, then it seems just a bit PA to limit sweets to the breakroom.  But the guy is rude and I'd talk to HR about that, but not banning the sweets to the breakroom...

Oh, I'm not worried about them being in the breakroom or at individual desks- I can keep away from them then.  :)  I would just like OB not to place group treats directly on my desk and act like I'm crazy for refusing.  I also find his comments inappropriate, so that's the main part of my HR visit.

I'mnotinsane

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Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #8 on: April 25, 2008, 06:41:16 PM »
Remind your HR/your supervisor that having the treats on your desk encourages people to stop by your desk and make conversation which is lowering your productivity.

Midnight Kitty

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Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #9 on: April 25, 2008, 07:34:52 PM »
PunkyB, I've been where you are now.  Up until I married DH in my mid-30's, I was very slender because of my hyperactive metabolism.  I could not gain weight no matter how much I ate and when I tried to eat a lot, I would throw up.  Yuck!  I still can't stuff myself without getting sick, but middle aged mellow has slowed my metabolism down to the point that I'm almost "normal."  I still find it easier to lose weight than to gain it.

If your metabolism is similar to mine, you may need to watch salty snacks just as I do.  I blame Murphy (of Murphy's Law).  My high metabolic rate is tied to my hyperactivity which is tied to my high blood pressure, which is, of course, exacerbated by a high salt diet.  So I crave salty/savory snacks (mm-m-m-m cheese ;-), not sweet (although I love chocolate).  DH "needs" dessert every day.  I'm usually too full to eat dessert.

I've learned to decline politely and firmly, depending upon the person offering/insisting.  Someone who walks around insisting that I take a malasada (much like sugared doughnut holes) will get, "Oh my, deep fried dough.  How can I resist?  Easily. No thank you, but thanks for offering."  If they put the fried dough on my desk, I would become physically ill from smelling the fried dough, so I would point that out: "Please don't leave those here unless you are trying to make me sick."  I can't deep fry.  I can't even tolerate the fumes from deep frying.  My stomach could be empty & I'd be retching.

My suggestion to you is to learn to make "no, thank you" a complete sentence.  End of story.  Keep grazing on healthy, protein rich nibbles.  Watch the salt.

Don't sweat the small stuff.  If someone wants to leave food out front for visitors, move it somewhere it won't make you sick smelling it.  If he waves it under your nose, trying to entice you, just ask him if he is trying to make you sick.  It's not like the obese receptionist who complains because the boss wants the candy dish on her desk and it is sabotaging her diet.  You can resist the treats.  You just don't want them cluttering up your work space and that's the approach I recommend.  It's your desk.  Let him put the treats elsewhere.

As for OB's comments about your "eating disorder:"  "That's an interesting assumption" is also a complete sentence.  Lather, rinse, repeat as necessary.  If you want variety, I recommend, "My weight is none of your concern."  I was never anorexic or bulimic; My tendency to throw up after eating too much isn't the same as choosing to eat too much, then making myself sick in order to remain thin.  I hope that age will mellow out your high metabolism and help you find your ideal weight, just as I did.
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Punky B.

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Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #10 on: April 26, 2008, 12:55:40 PM »
Thank you to all for your support!  :)

I talked to HR, and they are going to have a talk with OB in the vein of keeping his comments to himself.  I got the full go ahead to move office treats to the breakroom and keep them there- communal food belongs in the communal area is how we're going to state it for anyone that wants to be difficult.   I made sure to mention that I wasn't complaining about food at individual desks, as I still need to graze through the day and did not want to deny anyone else their snacks.

"No thank you" will continue to be my firm response- my food intake is no ones business but my own.  ;D

I have a feeling OB is going to mention me "getting him in trouble"- he just seems like the type.  :P


Punky B.

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Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #11 on: April 26, 2008, 12:56:48 PM »
Remind your HR/your supervisor that having the treats on your desk encourages people to stop by your desk and make conversation which is lowering your productivity.

This is a wonderful idea- I'm going to tuck it away to use if anyone brings up having to walk alllll the way to the breakroom for a donut.

Twik

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Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #12 on: April 27, 2008, 09:32:45 AM »
I've known several people with really high metabolisms.  The men are never questioned.  One of the women asked me once why people think that it is okay for people to tell her she's too skinny when no one would ever go up to some one and say "you're too fat".  I commiserated, but didn't have an answer for her.

And until I actually met someone with a high metabolism, I thought it would be great to have.  Now, not so much.  People with high metabolisms have to eat so much just to stay healthy!  I'm sure your grocery bill is through the roof!

"You're so skinny!  You must eat more!"

I get that a lot and have the same thought- it would certainly not be okay to say "You're way to fat!  Stop it!" so why is the opposite fine? ;)

It does cost extra, I have to make sure I have lots of snacks high in protein, and that dinner is balanced enough to fill me up, but light enough so I can eat again in a while- argh.  But I do love food, and I've learned some interesting recipes to add variety. :)

Well, there ARE people who DO think it's fine to to go up to people and tell them that they are too fat.
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supernova

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Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #13 on: April 27, 2008, 02:36:03 PM »

Well, there ARE people who DO think it's fine to to go up to people and tell them that they are too fat.

I can attest to this as well.  There are, in fact, quite a few of them.   :(

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FunkyMunky

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Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #14 on: April 27, 2008, 08:24:30 PM »

I've had to bite my tongue when I've seen extremely large people eating large high-fat meals. I know it's not fair to judge, but even people without conditions that can cause obesity shouldn't eat that kind of junk.

I'd never actually say anything though. It's their body.