Author Topic: "You must be anorexic."  (Read 15083 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Hanna

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7270
    • RumorsAboutMe
Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #15 on: April 27, 2008, 08:57:38 PM »

Well, there ARE people who DO think it's fine to to go up to people and tell them that they are too fat.

I can attest to this as well.  There are, in fact, quite a few of them.   :(

     - saphie
True, but that certainly doesn't make it okay nor does it make it any easier to take when someone starts calling you skinny, scrawny, anexoric, etc.  I listened to that for years. 

OP my favorite new line when someone says something rude is "WOW!  Did you mean to say that out loud?"  It's pretty funny to watch the fallout after that. 

Melxb

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1230
Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #16 on: April 27, 2008, 09:44:34 PM »
I've sort of been there.  I'm a type 1 diabetic.  I am ALWAYS snacking at my desk.  Either I'm eating salt free popcorn, or having apple sices, or eating pretzel sticks or eating something or other.  I kind of have to.  ;)

I get a lot of whining from people at work who always see me eat, but don't understand why I refuse the donuts or bagels w/cream cheese or homemade coffee cake (and yes--that one almost killed me to refuse because it looked so good  :-\ ) or whatever.  I get a lot of dirty looks.  I do tell my co-workers I'm diabetic and that I have to test my blood sugar 4-6 times a day and that I just CANNOT have what they are offering no matter how good it is--to no avail sometimes. 

My advice is to just tell your co-worker that you can't eat it, and that you are physically ok.  Definitely take it to your HR if necessary.

Punky B.

  • I prefer not to.
  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 810
Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #17 on: April 28, 2008, 10:42:09 AM »

Well, there ARE people who DO think it's fine to to go up to people and tell them that they are too fat.

I can attest to this as well.  There are, in fact, quite a few of them.   :(

     - saphie

Ugh, what is wrong with some people?

Punky B.

  • I prefer not to.
  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 810
Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #18 on: April 28, 2008, 10:45:00 AM »
I've sort of been there.  I'm a type 1 diabetic.  I am ALWAYS snacking at my desk.  Either I'm eating salt free popcorn, or having apple sices, or eating pretzel sticks or eating something or other.  I kind of have to.  ;)

I get a lot of whining from people at work who always see me eat, but don't understand why I refuse the donuts or bagels w/cream cheese or homemade coffee cake (and yes--that one almost killed me to refuse because it looked so good  :-\ ) or whatever.  I get a lot of dirty looks.  I do tell my co-workers I'm diabetic and that I have to test my blood sugar 4-6 times a day and that I just CANNOT have what they are offering no matter how good it is--to no avail sometimes. 

My advice is to just tell your co-worker that you can't eat it, and that you are physically ok.  Definitely take it to your HR if necessary.

Oh, the coffee cake would almost do me in too- my boss had the most delicious looking cake for her birthday- all made of ice cream.  I felt like a dog making eyes at a dinner plate, lol. 

mom2fluffer

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 97
Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #19 on: April 28, 2008, 10:53:55 AM »
Thank you to all for your support!  :)

I talked to HR, and they are going to have a talk with OB in the vein of keeping his comments to himself.  I got the full go ahead to move office treats to the breakroom and keep them there- communal food belongs in the communal area is how we're going to state it for anyone that wants to be difficult.   I made sure to mention that I wasn't complaining about food at individual desks, as I still need to graze through the day and did not want to deny anyone else their snacks.

"No thank you" will continue to be my firm response- my food intake is no ones business but my own.  ;D

I have a feeling OB is going to mention me "getting him in trouble"- he just seems like the type.  :P


The only response to that is "No dear you got yourself in trouble"  Although I'm not sure that's entirely within the bounds of etiquette.

Mom2Fluffer

GoldenGemini

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1857
  • One of these days, Alice....
Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #20 on: April 29, 2008, 11:02:07 PM »

Well, there ARE people who DO think it's fine to to go up to people and tell them that they are too fat.

I can attest to this as well.  There are, in fact, quite a few of them.   :(

     - saphie

Ugh, what is wrong with some people?

I am a US Size 8-10, as far as I can work out.

At dinner last week, MG's dad asked me about the diet I started last year.  Somewhat warily I replied "Mmm, what about it?"  He responded with "well, it doesn't seem to have worked!"  :o

While I was busy picking my jaw up off the floor, MG said "That's quite rude" to his dad. He looked suitably chagrined, and no more mention was made.  I mentioned it on the way home, of course....


Consistency
It's only a virtue if you're not a screwup   - Demotivators(R)

Mrs. Pilgrim

  • I use cleaning for therapy. The carpets don't brag about needing cleaning, and the dishes don't diss me.
  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 393
  • I love waffles--but only the food kind.
Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #21 on: May 08, 2008, 04:11:19 PM »

Well, there ARE people who DO think it's fine to to go up to people and tell them that they are too fat.

I can attest to this as well.  There are, in fact, quite a few of them.   :(

     - saphie

Ugh, what is wrong with some people?

Very simple:  Lack of growing up.  We only THINK the most likely place to encounter the attitude of "If you're not just like me, there's something wrong with YOU" is high school...Adults just mask it better because of the potential for lawsuits.

And btw, I too suffer remarks for being thin.  I was back down to my original weight and size ten days after DD was born, and people kept accusing me of starving myself!
"Use the proper word, not its second cousin." --Mark Twain, Fenimore Cooper's Literary Offenses

CreteGirl

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1245
Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #22 on: June 05, 2008, 04:28:57 PM »
I hate, hate, hate when people try to force food on others.  My response when they ask why I won't eat a donut or whatever is, "I don't eat things I don't want".  It is hard to argue with that.  But it is so annoying that people persist once a "no thank you" has been given.  I am trying hard to diet, and I am also working out in order to lose weight for a specific event that is coming up.  I get so aggravated when people say, "oh, this little bit won't hurt you".  Yes it will.  I did not carefully watch calories and spend hours at the gym to ruin it with some random pastry that I don't want in the first place.  No means no.  It does not mean start trying to talk me into eating something I do not want.

McCutieBelle

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2740
Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #23 on: June 05, 2008, 07:46:26 PM »
I get asked if I am a person who only eats lettuce and is full, no way! I eat constantly and have gained about 20 pounds in the last 5 years. I know that doesn't sound like a lot but when you go up nearly 2 sizes and when you are short like me (I'm 4 feet 11 bare footed, but since I wear heels a lot I like to say I am 5 foot 3) you can tell. Granted one can call me thin still, but I am very careful with what I eat also due to health issues, and I review food so if I have to go somewhere and review some rich decadent french food I won't be snacking on chips and cakes all day!

I have always struggled with my weight and have battles eating disorders, I have a good attitude with food and someone saying that to me would hurt me as well. It is nothing to joke about or assume. My dear friend died due to complications of Bulimia and if someone said that to her, you better believe it would send her into a dark place.
"Life's like an hour glass glued to the table and no one can find the rewind button boy. So cradle your head in your hands and breathe"

Minmom3

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2434
Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #24 on: June 05, 2008, 10:05:14 PM »
What works for me, most of the time, is to say "I don't wish to eat that, thanks."  For some reason, saying "I don't want it" in THAT way stops people from pushing me.  I say it in a nice tone of voice, and I smile and all, but I emphasize the word 'wish'.  And 99% of the time, the pushing stops.

And for the 1% who have become obnoxious, I ask them why they're being obnoxious and pushing food on someone who has said she doesn't want it, when my not taking some means there is more for every one else?!  I deliver that with my best Old Lady Glare and frowny eyebrows, and funny enough, the dietary commentary just dries right up......   ;) 

I descend from a strong maternal line of Glarers, so it comes naturally.  Not female dogs, you understand, just autocratic, dictatorial, bossy, and possessed of a firm sense of their own moral rectitude.  Which I don't entirely share, but I glare well.
Mother to children and fuzz butts....

katycoo

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3801
Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #25 on: June 06, 2008, 12:11:01 AM »
Someimes its easier to tell a little fib - but there's always the risk it could backfire.

For example:

Rude Man: "You muct be anorexic then"

You: "Actually I'm diabetic".

I choose diabetes because most people are aware of it and that its diet controlled.  And it should shut them up quickly.  It might be easier than explaining your actual condition (which you shouldn't have to in any event - its private).  Down side is that if they know about it they might call you on it.

Chicki

  • Guest
Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #26 on: June 06, 2008, 09:06:45 AM »
Of course there is the standard... "What part of NO don't you understand?"

Twik

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 28640
Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #27 on: June 06, 2008, 01:10:06 PM »
Ugh, what is wrong with some people?

Very simple:  Lack of growing up.  We only THINK the most likely place to encounter the attitude of "If you're not just like me, there's something wrong with YOU" is high school...Adults just mask it better because of the potential for lawsuits.

And btw, I too suffer remarks for being thin.  I was back down to my original weight and size ten days after DD was born, and people kept accusing me of starving myself!

I think that this all boils down to a basic instinct, that we want to make other people do what's good for them. It can come out in discussions of food, of money, of religion, or the environment. Or b*****-feeding. People seem to have a deep-down compulsion (maybe a misplaced parenting instinct?) to tell other people why THEY are wrong, and if they want any chance of survival at all, they'll listen to the teller and shape up. And the teller is quite convinced that they are doing this out of the goodness of their hearts.

The funny thing is lots of people may, say, get very annoyed at being lectured on their preferences in one area, yet see nothing wrong with lecturing other people about THEIR particular "thing you MUST do".
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

Raintree

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6035
Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #28 on: June 06, 2008, 02:20:12 PM »
OP my favorite new line when someone says something rude is "WOW!  Did you mean to say that out loud?"  It's pretty funny to watch the fallout after that. 

I like that one. We should adopt it as another e-hell phrase. It could be useful in so many situations.

My mother is hopeless. She constantly buys me sugary treats when I see her. I have asked her repeatedly not to, and she doesn't listen...she acts hurt: "Oh, but I thought you would like it."  OK so it's true that I like my sugary treats. But I want to have them when *I* feel like it, not when someone else decides I should have it. If it's there I'll eat it, so I prefer not to have it pushed on me when I don't particularly crave it.

She also didn't get it when I went on an elimination diet to identify an allergy. Basically, you eliminate common allergens, and one by one re-introduce each one to see if you get a reaction. No matter how many times I explained it to her, she'd say, "Oh, but you don't need to go on a diet."  She just didn't GET that sometimes "a diet" is not for weight loss.

FunkyMunky

  • Guest
Re: "You must be anorexic."
« Reply #29 on: June 08, 2008, 11:47:48 PM »

I am a US Size 8-10, as far as I can work out.

At dinner last week, MG's dad asked me about the diet I started last year.  Somewhat warily I replied "Mmm, what about it?"  He responded with "well, it doesn't seem to have worked!"  :o

While I was busy picking my jaw up off the floor, MG said "That's quite rude" to his dad. He looked suitably chagrined, and no more mention was made.  I mentioned it on the way home, of course....

*looks up sizing charts*

Piffle. If you went on a diet and exercise regime, your muscle tone may have increased without changing your size noticeably. Plus US 8-10 is about the average size in Australia (plus, it's what Scarlett Johansson wears) Either way, it's rude to comment.

My sister greeted me the other day with "Gee, you've put on weight." I'm a 10 (US 6) at my biggest. I blame pregnancy hormones and self-consciousness. Plus, she's a troll.