Author Topic: "Just get your cat out of your apartment."  (Read 23809 times)

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celine.lechat

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"Just get your cat out of your apartment."
« on: April 30, 2008, 08:42:50 AM »
I decided to have a nice evening gathering next friday with a few friends and family, including my two "co-externes" (the two medical students working in the same department). Today I confirmed the date and time and went through that (thankfully short) checklist.

No food allergies? check. No special dietary needs? check. No a vegetarian? check.
Oh, and I have a cat.
"Yeah, you should get her out of your apartment by friday evening."
Taken aback at the abruptness of the request, I answered along the lines of "oh, are your allergic to cat hair? I'll take extra care to vacuum the living room and the sofa. Make sure you bring your treatment with you just in case."

"No, I'm not allergic, but I don't like cats. Just get that cat out of your apartment when I come."

I might have considered locking my little sweetie in our bedroom if he had been allergic. I could've discussed getting someone to petsit for an evening if he had asked graciously and offered a good reason.

As it was, I just told him "I'm sorry but that won't be possible", then called my husband to let him know one of our guests won't be coming on friday.

Do you think I was right?

magiccat26

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Re: "Just get your cat out of your apartment."
« Reply #1 on: April 30, 2008, 08:59:20 AM »
Simple answer:  Yes.  You were right.

The "guest" was rude.  When is it ever even OK for a guest to make demands on the host?  I understand alerting your host to allergies (food / animal / bad reality TV / etc.) but to demand accommodation is just plain rude.
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celine.lechat

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Re: "Just get your cat out of your apartment."
« Reply #2 on: April 30, 2008, 09:24:29 AM »
 ;D
Too bad we never watch TV; I could have added "bad reality shows" to my checklist.

He actually offered to compromise. "I'll come if you want. You can lock her out of your living room if you don't want to get her out." That's when I told him "my cat is at home in my apartment. You're not."

Sophia

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Re: "Just get your cat out of your apartment."
« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2008, 09:34:26 AM »
I am reading between the lines here, but I suspect this 'person' equates cats with, say, roaches. 

Make sure you have a ton a fun, and hopefully there will be some good stories or inside jokes generated from the party so that rude_cat_hater will realize he/she missed out. 

Even the "I'll come if you want" would irritate me.  Makes it sound like a favor.  Probably is a party-pooper anyway. 

Midnight Kitty

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Re: "Just get your cat out of your apartment."
« Reply #4 on: May 01, 2008, 07:30:36 PM »
Oh, and I have a cat.
"Yeah, you should get her out of your apartment by friday evening."
So, which of the "few friends and family, including my two 'co-externes'" came up with this gem?  That guest may not be present, but they sure won't be "missed." >:D

"No, I'm not allergic, but I don't like cats. Just get that cat out of your apartment when I come."
Where did they think the cat was going to hang out while s/he came to your apartment?  Go for a walk around the block?  Have a drink at the corner pub?

IMHO, you were right, they were rude.  Don't bother inviting them again.
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

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artk2002

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Re: "Just get your cat out of your apartment."
« Reply #5 on: May 01, 2008, 07:32:26 PM »
You were quite right.

BTW, that wasn't a "request" it was a "demand," which makes it even worse!
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

Midnight Kitty

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Re: "Just get your cat out of your apartment."
« Reply #6 on: May 01, 2008, 07:36:01 PM »
I am reading between the lines here, but I suspect this 'person' equates cats with, say, roaches.
Why would anyone think that?  Not only are cats clean, but most cats kill cockroaches.  Mine like to torture them.  They catch 'em and take 'em into the tiled foyer, aka "the torture chamber."  They remove an appendage (antenna or leg) and tap the roach with their paw to see how fast the roach can run now.  Remove another appendage, tap again "How fast can you run now?"  Lather, rinse, repeat.  When I get up in the morning, I put the poor 2 legged roach out of it's misery.
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

Lisbeth

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Re: "Just get your cat out of your apartment."
« Reply #7 on: May 01, 2008, 08:39:32 PM »
They were intensely rude, and you handled them just right.

Never extend them an invitation again.
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Starchasm

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Re: "Just get your cat out of your apartment."
« Reply #8 on: May 01, 2008, 08:42:41 PM »
I think you handled that exceedingly well!  If someone had demanded that I get my dogs out of the house, I probably would have passed out from laughing so hard.

I hope you have a great party!!!  ;D  Maybe you could go around taking pictures of people having a great time holding the cat, then put them up in your office/cubicle.  >:D

Alida

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Re: "Just get your cat out of your apartment."
« Reply #9 on: May 01, 2008, 08:48:18 PM »
Your invited guest was very rude.  Why would you get rid of a member of your family for the night because someone just doesn't LIKE cats?

MellowedOne

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Re: "Just get your cat out of your apartment."
« Reply #10 on: May 02, 2008, 09:02:43 AM »
You handled it very well.

I call a situation like this "guest entitlement disorder".  It can afflict anyone, even people whom under any other circumstance be considered nice.

Symptoms:  When invited to an event of any type...wedding, dinner party, etc., an afflicted individual will make rude requests or demands of their host.  They may also invite their own guest(s)--especially if not proper to do so, wear very inappropriate attire, and/or be the cause of any problems stemming from abuse of alcohol.  In serious cases the guest may loudly state, "nobody's going to tell me what to do/how to live my life!"  In a nutshell, the guest feels like they have a "right" to act however they feel, that they are entitled to such behavior.

Treatment:   Refusal to cave in to demands, done tactfully but firmly.  One common treatment is to give in to demands, out of a desire not to rock the boat.  However, this treatment has limited success; in fact usually just makes the affliction worse.

 ;D ;D

Side note about the pet issue--I've had many guests to my home, and none has ever asked that I put away my 135lb Great Dane.  That said, I always put away my dog when I have guests, because not everyone likes dogs, especially huge ones (even though he loves everyone he meets).  Even those that like dogs usually prefer the dog-free environment for an evening of entertainment. 

Now I know some folks whose lack of tact can be shocking...they don't even seem to realize they're being that way.  If that's the case with your invitee, perhaps what he was thinking was "I'd really like to go to this party, but she's got a cat?  I know people who have cats and they walk all over me, the kitchen counters, the table, ick!  I'll just tell her to lose the cat for the evening...no problemo"

Regardless, it was still rude, and you handled it quite well. 

And as a side note...I really don't care for cats   >:D   Just because they wash themselves and have no odor does not mean they leave a home in the same condition.  Any animal whose feet are touching floor surfaces or coming into contact with urine/feces have no business on eating surfaces.  And I have yet to find a cat that can be kept off them.  BUT...when invited to homes of cat owners, I certainly don't demand they lose the cat.  Sounds like your friend should acknowledge that, or gracefully turn down the invitation.

Cindy

behindbj

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Re: "Just get your cat out of your apartment."
« Reply #11 on: May 02, 2008, 09:19:47 AM »
Wow.  I've had people ask if I had cats before coming over, and when I replied in the affirmative politely declined the invitation.  When I ask if it has something to do with the cats, the reply has generally been that they are either afraid or uneasy around cats (one friend had her brother torture her in her youth by randomly throwing their cat on her.  I wouldn't be too fond of cats (or my brother, for that matter) after that kind of thing).

I also had one friend tell me his girlfriend was incredibly afraid of cats and would I please put them somewhere - but he would understand if I didn't but she really wanted to come but didn't want to make a scene but either way they understood if I wouldn't put them somewhere...and on...and on....  When he took a breath (finally - I swear the dude could swim the English Channel underwater on one breath), I told him I would put Their Royal Fuzznesses away for the evening.

In that instance, I have no issue relegating the furbutts to the Room of Spoiled-ness.  They manage.

The guy in the OP, however, could go take a leap.

behindbj

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Re: "Just get your cat out of your apartment."
« Reply #12 on: May 02, 2008, 09:20:04 AM »
You handled it very well.

And as a side note...I really don't care for cats   >:D   Just because they wash themselves and have no odor does not mean they leave a home in the same condition.  Any animal whose feet are touching floor surfaces or coming into contact with urine/feces have no business on eating surfaces.  And I have yet to find a cat that can be kept off them.  BUT...

Cindy

Border collies are just as agile and just as cunning [yup, we know first hand]

But, It's still a bit odd to find both the dog and the 2 cats up on the counter  ??? looking at you like they wish they could wistle  ::)

[We bleach the counter before any food prep and they all go outside to an enclosure as when food is out]

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Talley

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Re: "Just get your cat out of your apartment."
« Reply #13 on: May 02, 2008, 10:25:58 AM »
My kitty was the laziest cat imagianble. In her youth she would jump and climb everywhere, but sometime along the way she discovered that life is so much easier when you have a human slave lift you up when you want to sit somewhere elevated. She also became rather portly in appearance, and I am absolutely sure that afte rthe age of 5 she never jumped higher than 50 cm, so she would have needed a stepladder or at least a chair to climb onto any kitchen counter or table... I guess she was one of a kind.  ;) I really miss her a lot...

I have never had a problem with locking the cat away if someone with allergies came to visit, but these friends were usually very considerate, asking if the cat would be around first, and making sure to bring their medicine. I've also locked the cat away if small children were involved - for her safety and the children's safety. I've actually never met anyone who was afraid of cats, but I wouldn't have had  problem with that either. However, someone who just doesn't like them, and demands to put the cat away while they visit, simply wouldn't have been welcome in my house.


matf

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Re: "Just get your cat out of your apartment."
« Reply #14 on: May 02, 2008, 10:41:08 AM »
Wow! I'm deathly allergic to cats (really -- my throat starts to close up), and I never thought of that. "I'd love to come over! Just give away your cat and have your apartment cleaned professionally."

Much better than my usual response, which is to decline as politely as possible and regret missing a good time.

<sarcasm included, in case you couldn't tell>