Author Topic: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)  (Read 28610 times)

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MariaE

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Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
« Reply #60 on: February 28, 2013, 01:22:01 PM »
No. It might be bad taste, it might be inappropriate, but unless there's something untoward going on, it is not perverted. That is cheapining the word too much.
 
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amylouky

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Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
« Reply #61 on: February 28, 2013, 01:57:27 PM »
No. It might be bad taste, it might be inappropriate, but unless there's something untoward going on, it is not perverted. That is cheapining the word too much.

I think in the OP of this thread, given that the father had molested the daughter previously, perverted is the perfect word to use.

MariaE

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Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
« Reply #62 on: February 28, 2013, 02:03:25 PM »
No. It might be bad taste, it might be inappropriate, but unless there's something untoward going on, it is not perverted. That is cheapining the word too much.

I think in the OP of this thread, given that the father had molested the daughter previously, perverted is the perfect word to use.

Absolutely! Which is why I think it cheapens the word to call posting a picture on Facebook of the step-father placing the garters perverted:

I know this thread is from years ago but it appeared when I searched for "father placing garter on bride". After reading all the comments on it, I just had to tell about another inappropriate event I have observed. After a recent wedding I attended, the mother of the bride posted a picture on Facebook of the STEP-Father placing the garters under the bride's gown. WHAT?!?!?! That is PERVERTED!!! At the reception, the father of the bride didn't want to see the groom was removing the garter. When a mutual friend of ours asked him about the picture, he said he would never think that was a father's responsibility, much less a step-father's. That either the bride herself, her attendants or her mother should help her with that. And to top it off, people have "liked" it on Facebook. The whole thing is just disgusting.
The underlined is what I was responding to.

The OP - definitely perverted! That would have made me sick to watch as well. A picture of facebook where I know of no background of abuse? Not so much.
 
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amylouky

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Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
« Reply #63 on: February 28, 2013, 02:21:02 PM »
No. It might be bad taste, it might be inappropriate, but unless there's something untoward going on, it is not perverted. That is cheapining the word too much.

I think in the OP of this thread, given that the father had molested the daughter previously, perverted is the perfect word to use.

Absolutely! Which is why I think it cheapens the word to call posting a picture on Facebook of the step-father placing the garters perverted:

I know this thread is from years ago but it appeared when I searched for "father placing garter on bride". After reading all the comments on it, I just had to tell about another inappropriate event I have observed. After a recent wedding I attended, the mother of the bride posted a picture on Facebook of the STEP-Father placing the garters under the bride's gown. WHAT?!?!?! That is PERVERTED!!! At the reception, the father of the bride didn't want to see the groom was removing the garter. When a mutual friend of ours asked him about the picture, he said he would never think that was a father's responsibility, much less a step-father's. That either the bride herself, her attendants or her mother should help her with that. And to top it off, people have "liked" it on Facebook. The whole thing is just disgusting.
The underlined is what I was responding to.

The OP - definitely perverted! That would have made me sick to watch as well. A picture of facebook where I know of no background of abuse? Not so much.

Ah, okay, gotcha! I didn't realize you were responding to that one post. :)

MariaE

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Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
« Reply #64 on: February 28, 2013, 02:42:09 PM »
I should have quoted it, but I was commenting from my iPad and quoting gets cumbersome :)
 
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
« Reply #65 on: February 28, 2013, 02:52:33 PM »
The garter tradition I'm familiar with - and that I assumed this thread was about - doesn't involve the father of the bride at all. Instead, it's the rather disgusting "ceremony" that too often follows the bouquet toss and the garter toss, where the catcher of the garter is urged to position said accessory on the leg of the woman who caught the bouquet.

Meanwhile, the guests are expected to scream "higher, higher," urging that the garter be moved further up the woman's thigh. Apparently this is meant to convey some sort of luck/affluence/whatever to the newly married couple, so it's the garter-catcher's "duty" to slide the garter up pretty high (this is bushwah, of course - the real motivation seems to be purely titillation.)

At the last wedding I went to, both bouquet-catcher and garter-catcher were of age, and the garter-catcher was pretty decorous - he only slid it halfway up her shin. But I remember one wedding where the girl who caught the bouquet was barely 14, and the garter ended well above her knee - despite the fact that the girl (who just happens to be my beloved niece) was visibly on the edge of humiliated tears. And her mom did nothing to stop it!

Poor girl!  The only time I caught the bouquet, I was 9.  And I'm pretty sure it was staged so that I would catch it, as my aunt and uncle were married on my 9th birthday.  My cousin, who was 7, I think, "caught" the garter.   Due to our ages they didn't do the part where the catcher puts the garter on the leg of the one who caught the bouquet.  But they did have us dance together. 

I'm with others in thinking the father came up with this tradition and it turns my stomach too.

My MOH was my 17 year old cousin, who was like a sister to me.  The Best Man caught the garter.  I pulled him aside and told him if he went any higher than just above her knee, he'd find out what a Sicilian woman could do when she was unhappy.

Sorry, that had me instantly picturing you as Sofia Patrillo from Golden Girls. ;)
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Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
« Reply #66 on: March 01, 2013, 10:04:25 AM »
The OP was definitely a different situation but in reading the thread there were many other scenarios discussed that people thought were equally perverted. While you believe that my use of the word was wrong in comparison to the OP, I disagree. There are many definitions for it including "Deviating from what is considered normal or correct" and synonyms including twisted, shameful, etc. I agree that the OP was terrible and perverted; however, I believe that perverted also applies to this scenario as this was not normal or correct, it was disgusting and twisted. As some commenters have said, their own fathers would have refused to do this (mine would have too) leaving that sort of intimate detail to the bride or she could get assistance from her attendants or mother. Instead, this STEP-father was up to his elbows under that bride's gown while she looked horrified and her mother stood by laughing, taking pictures then posting them publically. Several of my circle of friends have searched for anything to do with this "tradition" and found nothing to confirm it specifically. The old age practices of the wedding feast lasting several days where the bride and groom were stripped naked, checked for purity then sent to a bedchamber to return with bloody sheets to prove consummation of the marriage are no longer required in this day. As the subject says, the whole thing is creepy and then when you add in varying scenario facts, it goes beyond acceptable behavior.

MariaE

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Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
« Reply #67 on: March 01, 2013, 10:34:11 AM »
The OP was definitely a different situation but in reading the thread there were many other scenarios discussed that people thought were equally perverted. While you believe that my use of the word was wrong in comparison to the OP, I disagree. There are many definitions for it including "Deviating from what is considered normal or correct" and synonyms including twisted, shameful, etc. I agree that the OP was terrible and perverted; however, I believe that perverted also applies to this scenario as this was not normal or correct, it was disgusting and twisted. As some commenters have said, their own fathers would have refused to do this (mine would have too) leaving that sort of intimate detail to the bride or she could get assistance from her attendants or mother. Instead, this STEP-father was up to his elbows under that bride's gown while she looked horrified and her mother stood by laughing, taking pictures then posting them publically. Several of my circle of friends have searched for anything to do with this "tradition" and found nothing to confirm it specifically. The old age practices of the wedding feast lasting several days where the bride and groom were stripped naked, checked for purity then sent to a bedchamber to return with bloody sheets to prove consummation of the marriage are no longer required in this day. As the subject says, the whole thing is creepy and then when you add in varying scenario facts, it goes beyond acceptable behavior.

If the step-father did it despite the daughter's wishes to the contrary, then I can understand why you'd call it perverted. From your original post it didn't sound like the daughter had any problems with it, so naturally I assumed she was in on it.

Besides, I don't think the "step" part makes any difference. It would have been equally disturbing if the bio-father had done something like that against his daughter's wishes.
 
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Venus193

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Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
« Reply #68 on: March 01, 2013, 11:29:24 AM »
Perverted is the right word for that situation.  It is difficult to believe that any mother would permit such a situation -- let alone encourage it -- against her daughter's will.  That would have earned my mother a full Cut Direct for the rest of her life.
« Last Edit: March 01, 2013, 10:33:03 PM by Venus193 »

magician5

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Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
« Reply #69 on: March 01, 2013, 10:12:22 PM »
Getting right back to the basics of the "bloody sheets" concept is the modern idea (I hope it's soon to be forgotten) of the "purity pledge / ring".

So, is the fiancee supposed to go to the father and say "I'd like to marry your daughter so that I can soil her"? Gack!
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nuit93

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Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
« Reply #70 on: March 02, 2013, 01:53:44 AM »
Getting right back to the basics of the "bloody sheets" concept is the modern idea (I hope it's soon to be forgotten) of the "purity pledge / ring".

So, is the fiancee supposed to go to the father and say "I'd like to marry your daughter so that I can soil her"? Gack!

From what I've heard, that's not TOO far from actuality.

Nikko-chan

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Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
« Reply #71 on: March 02, 2013, 04:56:10 AM »
I uh.... I caught the bouquet at my cousins wedding a couple of years ago. Ick. To be fair, the young man who caught the garter was very gentlemanly about the whole thing when he saw how nervous I was, and finally he placed my hand on it and made me pull it up the rest of the way.

But still. Ick. If i ever have a wedding I will not be having this tradition!

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Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
« Reply #72 on: March 03, 2013, 10:00:19 PM »
I know this thread is from years ago but it appeared when I searched for "father placing garter on bride". After reading all the comments on it, I just had to tell about another inappropriate event I have observed. After a recent wedding I attended, the mother of the bride posted a picture on Facebook of the STEP-Father placing the garters under the bride's gown. WHAT?!?!?! That is PERVERTED!!! At the reception, the father of the bride didn't want to see the groom was removing the garter. When a mutual friend of ours asked him about the picture, he said he would never think that was a father's responsibility, much less a step-father's. That either the bride herself, her attendants or her mother should help her with that. And to top it off, people have "liked" it on Facebook. The whole thing is just disgusting.

My grandfather attatched my cousin's garter-belt before her wedding. (As in, did up the little tabs to the top of her thigh-highs.) Yeah, it was kinda weird, but not perverted. She'd put her dress on and assumed from when she bought the dress that she'd be able to get under it and attached the stockings. (Attatching it all before putting on the dress wasn't an option for some reason, don't remember why.) She forgot that when she tried on the dress she wasn't wearing the big foofy underskirt that made finding her underparts impossible. (We had to help her go to the toilet. AWKWARD!) So my aunt and I were both trying to work the garter clips, but due to the fact that neither of us had ever worn this type of stockings we were not real sucessful, and my cousin was having. a. fit.

Grandpa came in to kiss the bride and put her pearls on. (Not sure why, but in our family the grandfather (if he's alive) or an uncle puts the bride's pearls on her.) He observed the chaos and told us to move aside. And did in about 45 seconds what we failed to do for about an hour.

According to him, our step-grandmother (his wife, and cousin's blood grandmother) was a klutz with garter clips too. He also commented that it was like a snow storm down there. (all the lace layers of her dress/slip/under skirt thingie)

The garter that got thrown she put on for the reception. She also wore a long white hippie type dress for the reception because the lace monstrosity was such a pain to walk in.
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Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
« Reply #73 on: March 03, 2013, 10:04:03 PM »
Someone mentioned putting the garter on the girl who catches the bouquet. I've never heard of that tradition. Here (in south Louisiana), the bride sits on the best man's knee and the groom takes the garter off. The groom throws the garter, much like the bouquet toss. The guy who catches it puts it on his arm, around his bicep, and takes a picture with the groom.

That's the norm in our circles too, although I've seen the putting the garter on the bridesmaid, around here its more common that the bridesmaid is owed a kiss or a drink from the grromsman who catches the garter.
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Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
« Reply #74 on: April 12, 2013, 06:58:30 PM »
"big foofy underskirt"...otherwise known as a "crinoline".  My DDs have passed around the same one for years (the first use was a prom, I think)...and have loaned it to friends.  The blasted thing just won't die. 
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