Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)

[quiet_you]

This isn't so much a classic, as just one I've always been extremely unnerved by, and I just wondered: has anyone else EVER heard of this? I've heard of a lot of things, but never this . . .

I have always found the garter "tradition" of having your father put it on you and your husband take it off and throw it to his friends to be in poor taste, but when my dearest friend got married back in the early 1980's, I nearly threw up. You see her father had sexually abused her when she was in junior high, not long after her mother died of a lingering disease. She was trying to forgive him and fuse her stepfamily into a real one, so she did the "traditional" garter thing. But the sight of her sicko father with his hands up her skirt was almost more than I could take.

At my wedding next year (I hope) I will be throwing neither garter nor bouquet, and if anyone finds that tacky or untraditional, tough.

You know, some of these "traditions" seem very recent. No one I know who got married before the late '70s threw any garter, or did more than wear one for the "something blue." And no description of weddings from the first half of the century describe bouquet-tossing. Frankly I don't consider either one of them true traditions, just modern tackiness.

From Ms. Jeanne: I've never seen nor heard of the tradition where the father of the bride puts the garter on his daughter.   That one is rather bizarre.

[Harriet Jones]

From Ms. Jeanne: I've never seen nor heard of the tradition where the father of the bride puts the garter on his daughter.   That one is rather bizarre.

I've not heard of that, either.

[Alida]

My father would have rather pulled his teeth out with his bare hands than put a garter on me.  That's just.. creepy.

[housewife2k]

I have never, never heard of the father putting onthe garter! That just...eewwwwwweeeeewwwweeeewww.

I am sorry, but there are somehings afather just shouldn ot do, and putting a garter on his daughter is on that list.

[Pinky830]

My very proper father would have freaked at the mere suggestion. I've never heard of this, either. The way I've always seen it done is that the bride is already wearing the garter, i.e. she put it on herself.

[Tiamet]

Why do I have a feeling that it was the pervert father who came up with this tradition?

Yeuch.

[Snewt]

I think my father would have fainted if I asked him to touch my leg on my wedding day.  We didn't do the garter toss at all (DH thought that the tradition was gross) and my dad was thrilled.  All of our friends have followed our footsteps and eliminated this tradition from their weddings as well.

[snowflake]

I have never, never heard of the father putting onthe garter! That just...eewwwwwweeeeewwwweeeewww.

I am sorry, but there are somehings afather just shouldn ot do, and putting a garter on his daughter is on that list.

Huge POD on that.

It's OK for a daddy to help his girl get dressed when she's a toddler but once she starts running into the tween age that's just plain wrong.  (Unless she has some sort of disability that keeps her from dressing herself.)

Having him put anything on her in public is twice as gross.

My dad was not a pervert and I'd still be grossed out by him putting on a garter!

[Emmy]

Put me down as another one who never heard of this 'tradition' and finds it creepy to say the least.  I couldn't imagine doing that.

I'm not a fan of taking the garter off at the reception either.

[Gyro Widget]

The whole garter thing is in poor taste IMHO - the public symbol showing the womans "loss of virginity".  I am by no means a prude, however the whole "tradition" is just sooo uncomfortable to watch.  I put the word tradition in quotes, because I highly doubt that this was EVER done in generations before. 

But involving one's father into the fiasco just takes the cake.  Its just so... sick. 

[Twik]

It would be interesting to know the background of this "tradition", of which I am also completely unfamiliar. Is it really something that perhaps is extremely local? The writer seems to think that everyone knows what she's talking about, and that she might be offending people by NOT doing it! Otherwise, I would agree that it sounds like something that Creepy Dad invented for one last grope of his daughter.

[Joannie81]

I never heard of it either.  It just doesn't sound like something that should be done.  DH stopped helping DD's dress when they learned how at around 4 or 5.  He helped them with buttons and things if they needed help, but that's about it.  And if/when they get married, he would never ever even think of putting a garter on them!

[Pixie]

While I do find the Mexican(?) tradition on the daughter's 15th birthday where the father changes her flat shoes for heels is very touching, sweet, and symbolic...... going from little girl to Young Lady....

I had never heard of a father putting a garter on his daughter and the idea is a bit creepy to me, OK, its a lot creepy.

[missmolly]

Why do I have a feeling that it was the pervert father who came up with this tradition?

You're not the only one. I've heard it's traditional for the mother to arrange the veil on the bride, but I'm pretty sure the father has no part in dressing her. Especially not something as icky as this 'tradition'.

[Lady Vavasour]

You know, some of these "traditions" seem very recent. No one I know who got married before the late '70s threw any garter, or did more than wear one for the "something blue." And no description of weddings from the first half of the century describe bouquet-tossing. Frankly I don't consider either one of them true traditions, just modern tackiness.

I'd never heard of garter tossing before I came onto this website (I am from New Zealand). Brides do often wear garters, but no one ever gets to see them.