Author Topic: " I wouldn't have guessed you are a smoker!"  (Read 15214 times)

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scooter2071

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" I wouldn't have guessed you are a smoker!"
« on: May 07, 2008, 06:52:05 PM »
This has happened a few times. Out socializing with acquaintances from work, I excused myself from the bar to step out for a cigarette and a couple of people proclaimed "I wouldn't have guessed you are a smoker!" and one even said "Smoking?? But you're so pretty!"       ???

Yesterday, it happened again when I mentioned to my kid's teacher when I almost forgot my coat "Better not forget that, my cigarettes are in there." She actually blushed and said..."" I wouldn't have guessed you are a smoker!"

Now, I always feel a little strange and don't really know how to react. Its almost the opposite of "What an interesting assumption" because they are actually...unassuming.

But that implications/assumptions of what they think a smoker should look like, or who they are...?

I need a snappy, yet polite comeback or two. I will admit that when I was at the bar, the folks from work got "Yeah, I thought only crack whores smoked too   ::)..."

ETA: Corrected grammar

hobish

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Re: " I wouldn't have guessed you are a smoker!"
« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2008, 06:59:32 PM »

What exactly does a smoker look like?

 ???

It's alright, man. I'm only bleeding, man. Stay hungry, stay free, and do the best you can.
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One Goat to Rule Them All

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Re: " I wouldn't have guessed you are a smoker!"
« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2008, 07:01:29 PM »
I don't know if you really need a snappy comeback. Just shrug and go outside.

gadget--gal

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Re: " I wouldn't have guessed you are a smoker!"
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2008, 06:35:39 AM »
hehe, some of the world's most successful supermodels are smokers

Calbrini

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Re: " I wouldn't have guessed you are a smoker!"
« Reply #4 on: May 08, 2008, 06:50:36 AM »
Is being a smoker the same as beng a criminal these days? I know its banned pretty much everywhere in the UK now but its stil legal as far as I know!!

zoidberg

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Re: " I wouldn't have guessed you are a smoker!"
« Reply #5 on: May 08, 2008, 07:12:38 AM »
At my last place of work, NOBODY knew I was a smoker. I didn't smoke while working (not even on my break). I got to hear a lot of fun comments about smokers ("Mrs. X smokes? I'd NEVER have thought if of her!" - said in the exact same tone as if Mrs. X had just consumed a baby in front of them).

My co-worker (we worked in HR) would SNIFF job applications to see if they smelled of smoke. If they did, they got thrown on the rejection pile without another look at them. I never smelled anything of the sort, but then, I'm a dirty smoker, what do I know?  ::)

And this is in Germany, where smoking is still a lot more common than in the U.S. Somehow, it's become totally acceptable to publicly berate smokers.

If somebody told me "I wouldn't have guessed you're a smoker" I'd just ask them "Oh, really? Why?" and let them try to explain. I'm sure some squirming would be involved.

Or maybe, these people would be so clueless and go right ahead with "Well, you're clean and you have a job. Smokers are supposed to be homeless hookers with hygiene problems!" ::)

DiamondGirl

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Re: " I wouldn't have guessed you are a smoker!"
« Reply #6 on: May 08, 2008, 12:12:55 PM »
I've been a smoker for years and get that comment fairly regularly. I did ask someone to explain it to me once. She said that you(general) can usually smell the smoke on a smoker, even if they feel they've done a good job of covering it up. It wasn't meant in a smokers are dirty kind of way.

Peppy

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Re: " I wouldn't have guessed you are a smoker!"
« Reply #7 on: May 08, 2008, 03:03:35 PM »
There are so many anti-smoking campaigns along with smoking bans ... I would guess people "assume" it opens the door for judgement...

I find it very respectful you left the table to light up and find it off-putting you are receiving that response!!

Elaan of Troyius

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Re: " I wouldn't have guessed you are a smoker!"
« Reply #8 on: May 08, 2008, 11:49:13 PM »
I smoke, and I don't care who knows about it. As long as I don't light up in smoke-free buildings, or in the homes or cars of non-smokers -- and I don't! ever! -- I feel it's no one else's business. I don't even ask a non-smoker if it's OK for me to smoke in their house or car, I just say "excuse me" and go outside for a few minutes. I even have a little "portable ashtray" I carry in my purse for such occasions (originally it was an Altoids tin) so I have a place to store the butts other than on their lawns.

So when people make unsolicited comments about the fact that I smoke (yes, it happens every now and then), I don't let them give me guilt trips over it.

And yes, I've heard it said that non-smokers can supposedly "sniff out" smokers, even when the smokers aren't smoking in their presence. I still don't care, because in my opinion there are worse things to smell than traces of tobacco odor on someone who has regular personal hygiene habits (i.e, takes showers, brushes teeth, wears clean clothes).

~Elaan.

Shortcake

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Re: " I wouldn't have guessed you are a smoker!"
« Reply #9 on: May 09, 2008, 10:52:02 AM »

What exactly does a smoker look like?

 ???



This is how I would respond. This reminds me of something that used to happen to me, but it hasn't happened in years.
 Background: I am white, and my husband is black. This used to happen when we first got married:

 When I met folks at work or other places without my husband, I would naturally talk about my husband, but it never occurred to me to bring up his race. (it still doesn't)  When those acquaintances met my husband for the first time (or saw a picture of him etc..) they would often say something like, "You  don't look like the kind of person who would be in an interracial marriage."   I would respond, "Well, what am I supposed to look like?"
Nobody could ever give me an answer.
I got married 20 years ago, but this doesn't seem to happen any more. Maybe because times have changed.


"Carry out a random act of kindness, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you."  Princess Diana

scarlett2k

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Re: " I wouldn't have guessed you are a smoker!"
« Reply #10 on: May 09, 2008, 11:50:17 AM »
"...and I never would have guessed that it matters."

Mrs. Pilgrim

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Re: " I wouldn't have guessed you are a smoker!"
« Reply #11 on: May 09, 2008, 04:11:59 PM »

What exactly does a smoker look like?

 ???



This is how I would respond. This reminds me of something that used to happen to me, but it hasn't happened in years.
 Background: I am white, and my husband is black. This used to happen when we first got married:

 When I met folks at work or other places without my husband, I would naturally talk about my husband, but it never occurred to me to bring up his race. (it still doesn't)  When those acquaintances met my husband for the first time (or saw a picture of him etc..) they would often say something like, "You  don't look like the kind of person who would be in an interracial marriage."   I would respond, "Well, what am I supposed to look like?"
Nobody could ever give me an answer.
I got married 20 years ago, but this doesn't seem to happen any more. Maybe because times have changed.


You're going to the right places, then.  I stopped visiting a blog over someone expressing unfounded opinions about this.

Apparently you're supposed to be fat white trash, with big hair, too much makeup, and live in a rundown trailer with eight or nine developmentally-challenged kids.  I swear, that is how the fellow in question (not the blog owner, but an unsilenced frequent commenter) characterized white women who "betrayed their race".

Of course, the fellow is also an unemployed dad who believes in polygamy and is a flaming white-supremacist and male chauvinist.  And rude beyond belief.  He makes Don Imus look like the Count of Monte Cristo.
"Use the proper word, not its second cousin." --Mark Twain, Fenimore Cooper's Literary Offenses

TaylorMade

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Re: " I wouldn't have guessed you are a smoker!"
« Reply #12 on: May 09, 2008, 04:25:02 PM »
I get this a lot.  The comment I HATE (always from men) is "You're to pretty to smoke"

Agh.

What am I supposed to look like.  Brown teeth, smoke billowing out of my hair, nicotine stains on my fingers?  I don't know.  I'm a 36 year old nice looking female (with great teeth).

Brentwood

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Re: " I wouldn't have guessed you are a smoker!"
« Reply #13 on: May 09, 2008, 04:27:18 PM »

And yes, I've heard it said that non-smokers can supposedly "sniff out" smokers, even when the smokers aren't smoking in their presence. I still don't care, because in my opinion there are worse things to smell than traces of tobacco odor on someone who has regular personal hygiene habits (i.e, takes showers, brushes teeth, wears clean clothes).

~Elaan.

It's more than supposedly. I smoked for the better part of 15 years and have been a non-smoker for just about 10 years. I can smell smokers - they don't need to be actively smoking for me to notice.

hannahmollysmom

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Re: " I wouldn't have guessed you are a smoker!"
« Reply #14 on: May 09, 2008, 08:17:42 PM »
I admit, I am a smoker. Phew that feels good to get off my chest. Let me tell you where it all began....

I am a concientious smoker. It does not effect my job. I know that I can only have breaks at certain times. I do not smoke around children!  If I am at a non-smokers house, or car I go outside, but, should you accept an invitation to MY house, be prepared for smoke. (If it does harm you physically, I will refrain from smoking in front of you and will go outside while you are at my home.) Yes, I know smoking is bad for you but where would we be if no one bought cigarettes and therefore the tax (income) we bring into the state would be gone!

The airport I work at is one of the few left with a smoking lounge. I'm glad we do, as I can just imagine how the front curb would look like if we didn't! Some states have actually proposed no smoking in personal cars due to dangers while driving. I see more people talking on cell phones while driving than smoking.

Also, those who smoke pot but feel the need to preach to me about cigarettes really get my goat. Pot, through a pipe, or unfiltered joint, is more damaging to lungs than a filtered cigarette!

Sorry for the rant but this subject really irks me!