" I wouldn't have guessed you are a smoker!"

[Elaan of Troyius]

LOL! Well, if I've made you happy despite linking the "wrong" Uncle Al, then I'm glad!

Who would have thought there were two columnists calling themselves Uncle Al?

  Cathy, you didn't just make me happy, you made my entire day! After finishing my last post, I bookmarked his new site, read a couple of the essays (I didn't think it possible but it's so wonderful, from what I read so far, I think he's gotten "worse" over the years!). Then I got offline (yup, I'm still on dialup) and left a babbling, semi-coherent message on my boyfriend's voicemail about how I finally found Uncle Al again! I wonder what he'll make of it. Heee heee heee....

Thank you!   

[Elaan of Troyius]

I think this is because the smoke will flow right out the open window if you hold a cigarette near it. The action of the car moving makes the smoke get "sucked out." If both windows are open then the smoke will drift across the car as air flows out that window as well. I had to demonstrate this to a boyfriend who felt he didn't need to open the driver's side window while smoking because i already had the passenger side window open. All that did was make all of the smoke (instead of just my smoke) float over to the passenger side on its way out.

Hmmm, this would make sense on the part of my boyfriend, I'll bet he'd know it -- I didn't know this at all and didn't think of it -- I had just figured that if someone doesn't like cig smoke but will be "forced" to deal with it anyway, maximum ventilation would have to be a good thing, hence my "open your window too if you want" offers to nonsmoking passengers. My boyfriend is a physics nut, and this sounds just like the kind of information he'd have packed in that brilliant (if disconnected from the space time continuum) head of his. But he only says, "I'm fine, your window is open enough" to my offers.

[Ceallach]

You know, I kind of wonder if this assumption is actually sort of complimentary.  There are many smokers whose habit is obvious - their clothes and cars permanently stink, and they are continually rushing outside for their next fix.  This is the case even with many of the nice, polite people who smoke!  Then of course there are the even ruder breeds who smoke in people's faces etc.

I know smokers who aren't like this, who smell nice (not that yukky smell of tobacco inadequately covered with breathmints either!)  and who many people don't know smoke because they are subtle about it. 

If somebody is surprised to hear that you're a smoker, it might be that they are impressed that you manage to do so in such a considerate manner, not that they are thinking less of you. If I were a smoker, I'd prefer to be in that category and know that my efforts to be polite about it are working! 

But as a non-smoker, my interpretation may be off.   :-) 

[Dandy Andy's Daddy's Love]

You know, I kind of wonder if this assumption is actually sort of complimentary.  There are many smokers whose habit is obvious - their clothes and cars permanently stink, and they are continually rushing outside for their next fix.  This is the case even with many of the nice, polite people who smoke!  Then of course there are the even ruder breeds who smoke in people's faces etc.

I know smokers who aren't like this, who smell nice (not that yukky smell of tobacco inadequately covered with breathmints either!)  and who many people don't know smoke because they are subtle about it. 

If somebody is surprised to hear that you're a smoker, it might be that they are impressed that you manage to do so in such a considerate manner, not that they are thinking less of you. If I were a smoker, I'd prefer to be in that category and know that my efforts to be polite about it are working! 

But as a non-smoker, my interpretation may be off.   :-) 

Sorry, but I think it is way off. I don't find it complimentary at all, even if it is meant that way. While there are many smokers out there who are unhappy about the fact that they can't quit, there are just as many who are perfectly happy as smokers. This "compliment" is implying that non-smokers are better than smokers.

[Shoo]

Sorry, but I think it is way off. I don't find it complimentary at all, even if it is meant that way. While there are many smokers out there who are unhappy about the fact that they can't quit, there are just as many who are perfectly happy as smokers. This "compliment" is implying that non-smokers are better than smokers.

Nah.  Well, okay, yeah.  Inasmuch as people who don't smell bad are better than people who do smell bad.  And by better, I mean better smelling.  That's all it means.  Reading more into it will only aggravate you.

[Dandy Andy's Daddy's Love]

Sorry, but I think it is way off. I don't find it complimentary at all, even if it is meant that way. While there are many smokers out there who are unhappy about the fact that they can't quit, there are just as many who are perfectly happy as smokers. This "compliment" is implying that non-smokers are better than smokers.

Nah.  Well, okay, yeah.  Inasmuch as people who don't smell bad are better than people who do smell bad.  And by better, I mean better smelling.  That's all it means.  Reading more into it will only aggravate you.

I think it also depends on who it's coming from. I would be a lot more put out if it came from someone who was constantly talking about what a "disgusting habit" it was, than someone who I had never heard make rude comments about smokers.

[Brentwood]

Many people who find out that I am an ex-smoker express incredulity that I was ever smoker. "I can't imagine YOU ever smoking!" they say.

I'm not exactly a crusader for a smoke-free world; in fact, I rarely mention smoking at all unless it's germane to the situation. I don't know why so many people are shocked that I smoked. I did. I smoked for the better part of 15 years (I quit during my pregnancy with Kayla).

I quit smoking cold turkey and for good ten years ago (the last time I smoked was June 30, 1998), in part because I was ready and in part because my husband and I wanted to have children together and I wanted to be smoke-free before we began that project. Mr. F followed my lead six weeks later, and my brother-in-law not long after that. We no longer have any smokers at our family gatherings.

[GertrudeMcFuzz]

You know, I kind of wonder if this assumption is actually sort of complimentary.  There are many smokers whose habit is obvious - their clothes and cars permanently stink, and they are continually rushing outside for their next fix.  This is the case even with many of the nice, polite people who smoke!  Then of course there are the even ruder breeds who smoke in people's faces etc.

I know smokers who aren't like this, who smell nice (not that yukky smell of tobacco inadequately covered with breathmints either!)  and who many people don't know smoke because they are subtle about it. 

If somebody is surprised to hear that you're a smoker, it might be that they are impressed that you manage to do so in such a considerate manner, not that they are thinking less of you. If I were a smoker, I'd prefer to be in that category and know that my efforts to be polite about it are working! 

But as a non-smoker, my interpretation may be off.   :-) 

Sorry, but I think it is way off. I don't find it complimentary at all, even if it is meant that way. While there are many smokers out there who are unhappy about the fact that they can't quit, there are just as many who are perfectly happy as smokers. This "compliment" is implying that non-smokers are better than smokers.

To paraphrase something said to me in another thread about another issue...coming across people who are considerate smokers and/or don't reek of smoke is so rare these days, why wouldn't you take it as a compliment?

This board seems to have a lot of considerate smokers. At least 75% of the smokers who post here claim to always use ashtrays or "field strip" their cigarette butts and carry them until they get home. I've never known a smoker IRL who does this; in fact, I see lots of examples of inconsiderate smokers around me. (Latest example is the cable repairman who stepped outside to his truck three times "to get something," came back in blowing a cloud of smoke through my door each time, and left his three used butts in my grass.)

So I have never expressed surprise when learning someone was a smoker, but I have thought the words a couple of times. It would most definitely be a compliment if I said it, though.

[Dandy Andy's Daddy's Love]

So I have never expressed surprise when learning someone was a smoker, but I have thought the words a couple of times. It would most definitely be a compliment if I said it, though.

I'm trying to find a good way to explain myself, but I fear I will do it badly anyway, so I apologize in advance if this doesn't make any sense. There are some smokers (not all, but some) who enjoy being smokers and are not the slightest bit ashamed of being one. They have no intentions of quitting, and while they may not provide the information at the drop of a hat "nice to meet you, my name's Jen and I'm a smoker" they are certainly not trying to hide it. If someone was to say they are suprised that I'm a smoker, I would wonder why they are surprised. What does a smoker look like? Who are the smokers? Are they the people with yellow hands, yellow teeth, and wrinkles around their mouths, who cough up a lung sprinting for the bus?

Maybe I feel this way because in my mind, I think the expression of surprise in itself is perpetuating all the negative stereotypes about smokers. Kind of like "All smokers are- stinky, unhealthy, inconsiderate......., and you're not those things, so how could you be a smoker?"

I hope that makes a little sense. I confess I'm having a hard time expressing my distaste for the expression, but I hope that gives a little perspective on my opinion.

[FunkyMunky]

I don't know if they did or not, but they were going to make it illegal here for anyone to smoke in their car if there were children in the vehicle.

The only exception I would make to this is if someone you live with is made ill by the smoke you shouldn't smoke inside even if it is your home/car.  I am sure that you would be like my mom in this situation not my niece’s stepmom.  My dad has lung problems and so mom smokes outside. My niece has an allergy to cigarette smoke and every week she comes back to her mom's congested and sick with her face all swollen because her stepmom refuses to smoke outside and smokes in the car with the kids. She misses school at least 2 Mondays a month because she is so sick after her dad's weekends because of the smoke.

That's endangering her health. I personally would try to ensure that she was not exposed to cigarette smoke, or that she wasn't sent to her stepmother's house. There must be something someone can do to stop that.

[TaylorMade]

So I have never expressed surprise when learning someone was a smoker, but I have thought the words a couple of times. It would most definitely be a compliment if I said it, though.

I'm trying to find a good way to explain myself, but I fear I will do it badly anyway, so I apologize in advance if this doesn't make any sense. There are some smokers (not all, but some) who enjoy being smokers and are not the slightest bit ashamed of being one. They have no intentions of quitting, and while they may not provide the information at the drop of a hat "nice to meet you, my name's Jen and I'm a smoker" they are certainly not trying to hide it. If someone was to say they are suprised that I'm a smoker, I would wonder why they are surprised. What does a smoker look like? Who are the smokers? Are they the people with yellow hands, yellow teeth, and wrinkles around their mouths, who cough up a lung sprinting for the bus?

Maybe I feel this way because in my mind, I think the expression of surprise in itself is perpetuating all the negative stereotypes about smokers. Kind of like "All smokers are- stinky, unhealthy, inconsiderate......., and you're not those things, so how could you be a smoker?"

I hope that makes a little sense. I confess I'm having a hard time expressing my distaste for the expression, but I hope that gives a little perspective on my opinion.

I agree with what you are saying and was trying to come up with a post to say the same thing, but I can't find the right words to explain myself.  It somehow seems that I should be ashamed (not the right word I really want to say) of my smoking and that by complimenting me you are saying "I know you have this awful habit, but boy, you sure hide it well"

[ChristiKayAnn]

I don't know if they did or not, but they were going to make it illegal here for anyone to smoke in their car if there were children in the vehicle.

The only exception I would make to this is if someone you live with is made ill by the smoke you shouldn't smoke inside even if it is your home/car.  I am sure that you would be like my mom in this situation not my niece’s stepmom.  My dad has lung problems and so mom smokes outside. My niece has an allergy to cigarette smoke and every week she comes back to her mom's congested and sick with her face all swollen because her stepmom refuses to smoke outside and smokes in the car with the kids. She misses school at least 2 Mondays a month because she is so sick after her dad's weekends because of the smoke.

That's endangering her health. I personally would try to ensure that she was not exposed to cigarette smoke, or that she wasn't sent to her stepmother's house. There must be something someone can do to stop that.

Well she won't be going to her dad's again until school is out for the summer, because she can't miss anymore school this year without risking being held back. She has been out all week because dad, stepmom, and stepbrother were all sick with colds this weekend and between that and the smoke she caught a pretty bad cold.  Poor thing is just miserable. I just hope this doesn't turn to pnuemonia again like it did in January. Her dad quit smoking because of that but her stepmom just smokes more out of spite.

[Dandy Andy's Daddy's Love]

So I have never expressed surprise when learning someone was a smoker, but I have thought the words a couple of times. It would most definitely be a compliment if I said it, though.

I'm trying to find a good way to explain myself, but I fear I will do it badly anyway, so I apologize in advance if this doesn't make any sense. There are some smokers (not all, but some) who enjoy being smokers and are not the slightest bit ashamed of being one. They have no intentions of quitting, and while they may not provide the information at the drop of a hat "nice to meet you, my name's Jen and I'm a smoker" they are certainly not trying to hide it. If someone was to say they are suprised that I'm a smoker, I would wonder why they are surprised. What does a smoker look like? Who are the smokers? Are they the people with yellow hands, yellow teeth, and wrinkles around their mouths, who cough up a lung sprinting for the bus?

Maybe I feel this way because in my mind, I think the expression of surprise in itself is perpetuating all the negative stereotypes about smokers. Kind of like "All smokers are- stinky, unhealthy, inconsiderate......., and you're not those things, so how could you be a smoker?"

I hope that makes a little sense. I confess I'm having a hard time expressing my distaste for the expression, but I hope that gives a little perspective on my opinion.

I agree with what you are saying and was trying to come up with a post to say the same thing, but I can't find the right words to explain myself.  It somehow seems that I should be ashamed (not the right word I really want to say) of my smoking and that by complimenting me you are saying "I know you have this awful habit, but boy, you sure hide it well"

Yes, I'm glad someone else gets what I'm trying to say.

[littleoats]

What exactly does a smoker look like?

 

Yellow, wrinkly, not unlike an egyptian mummy.  Oh wait, maybe that's just my mother.

Seriously though, I'd take it as a compliment.  They're saying you don't stink and you're not prematurely aged plus there's an implication that you're too smart to do a stupid thing like smoke.

[Dandy Andy's Daddy's Love]

What exactly does a smoker look like?

 

Yellow, wrinkly, not unlike an egyptian mummy.  Oh wait, maybe that's just my mother.

Seriously though, I'd take it as a compliment.  They're saying you don't stink and you're not prematurely aged plus there's an implication that you're too smart to do a stupid thing like smoke.

Which, when they say that, implies that all smokers do stink, age prematurely, and are dumb. That's why I have a problem with it.