Author Topic: "You must have had a c-section because your husband's white"???  (Read 13694 times)

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Ceallach

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This happened to a friend of mine, Tina, awhile back.  Relevant background:  Tina is of Indian heritage, but moved to our predominantly white country as a young teenager. Her husband is also an Indian raised here, and both choose to dress the "western" way most of the time and in terms of speech and mannerisms I'd probably assume they were both born and raised here if I didn't know otherwise.

At a social setting she went to with friends (so her husband wasn't there) Tina was asked by a lady "So, I guess you must have had a C-section?" As it happened, Tina had (due to complications her twins were delivered at 8 months via c-section) and so she said yes.  The lady went on to comment about how this is why inter-racial coupling was such a bad idea because it causes issues with childbirth. Now, I'm no doctor, but that sounds like a racist myth to me.   

Tina was gobsmacked. This lady assumed Tina's husband is a different race to her, and then assumed that she must have had to have a c-section because of it.   Tina didn't know where to start with correcting her!    Probably would be a waste of time with somebody so presumptuous.

Incidently, this woman is actually a midwife, so I would think that she should know better than to spout such rubbish.   I hope this isn't what they teach at the midwife training she went to!
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KatPsych

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Re: "You must have had a c-section because your husband's white"???
« Reply #1 on: May 12, 2008, 11:32:50 PM »
Whoa.  That's all I've got.

Other than to say that asking a woman if she had a c-section is not polite fodder for chit chat in most circles. 

Brentwood

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Re: "You must have had a c-section because your husband's white"???
« Reply #2 on: May 12, 2008, 11:44:02 PM »
How utterly bizarre.

nyarlathotep

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Re: "You must have had a c-section because your husband's white"???
« Reply #3 on: May 12, 2008, 11:53:26 PM »
Crazy lady alert!

Seriously, that's a load of pants. There's no way race can have any affect on childbirth.

FunkyMunky

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Re: "You must have had a c-section because your husband's white"???
« Reply #4 on: May 13, 2008, 04:04:40 AM »

Absolutely mental.

That being said, you are slightly more likely to need a c-section with twins - if the lowest one isn't in the right position, doctors are unable to turn it, and they recommend c-sections over attempting a breech birth. (Too many twins in my family for me to have not checked up on it)

tiger_splash

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Re: "You must have had a c-section because your husband's white"???
« Reply #5 on: May 13, 2008, 12:56:45 PM »
When I was in nursing school, it was mentioned that sometimes a size difference can cause a higher percentage of complications in birth leading to a C-section.  The example she used was during the Korean war, many of our GI's impregnated the local girls.  According to this instructor, this led to an increase in birth complications/C-sections in the area because our GI's are 6ft 200 pound boys and the girls were 5ft nothing and maybe weighed 90 pounds soaking wet.  While that's not always true, there is a difference in the average weight and height for the two countries and their are different average birth wieghts...

Not sure if there was any truth to her comments... I was a student and she was a nurse with PhD and OB was her specialty.  But it sounds like it's coming from the same thought process.  However, it's not the actual *racial* difference, it's the difference in average birthweight causing the issue.

I don't think the subject was polite chit chat anyhow, so I guess the thought process isn't important.

Bob Ducca

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Re: "You must have had a c-section because your husband's white"???
« Reply #6 on: May 13, 2008, 01:06:24 PM »
This one leaves the "Save the Hoo-Hah Club" in the dust...

I don't think there is anything your friend could have said to counter such rudeness.  It would have been a good time for "What an interesting assumption" or "How kind of you to take an interest," but really I would have just been gaping...

ClaireC79

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Re: "You must have had a c-section because your husband's white"???
« Reply #7 on: May 13, 2008, 04:47:56 PM »
There is a difference in races and childbirth (for example Philipino women tend to give birth between 36 and 38 weeks and whereas the stillbirth rate rises at 42 weeks with caucasian women it goes up in their race at 40 weeks - so it does seem to be their gestation is different.) 

That said babies birth weights are related to the mother and tend to even out between the parents after the birth - I was certainly never taught that interacial parenting was a bad idea for this reason

Crafty Pirate

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Re: "You must have had a c-section because your husband's white"???
« Reply #8 on: May 16, 2008, 10:54:13 PM »
I don't think there is anything your friend could have said to counter such rudeness.  It would have been a good time for "What an interesting assumption" or "How kind of you to take an interest," but really I would have just been gaping...

I'm with ya.  I've found that people with no common courtesy also have NO common sense.  So trying to explain rational thought to them is futile.  What is the phrase, "Don't argue with a pig, it doesn't accomplish anything, it just annoys the pig."????   I'm still agog over the question.  It's like "It's winter because the file drawer was painted blue" - it makes no sense.   Sigh!   


HorseFreak

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Re: "You must have had a c-section because your husband's white"???
« Reply #9 on: May 16, 2008, 11:08:53 PM »
When I was in nursing school, it was mentioned that sometimes a size difference can cause a higher percentage of complications in birth leading to a C-section.  The example she used was during the Korean war, many of our GI's impregnated the local girls.  According to this instructor, this led to an increase in birth complications/C-sections in the area because our GI's are 6ft 200 pound boys and the girls were 5ft nothing and maybe weighed 90 pounds soaking wet.  While that's not always true, there is a difference in the average weight and height for the two countries and their are different average birth wieghts...

Not sure if there was any truth to her comments... I was a student and she was a nurse with PhD and OB was her specialty.  But it sounds like it's coming from the same thought process.  However, it's not the actual *racial* difference, it's the difference in average birthweight causing the issue.

I don't think the subject was polite chit chat anyhow, so I guess the thought process isn't important.

With dairy cattle bulls with high "calving ease" are selected for heifers since they tend to have smaller calves. I don't see why a huge racial size difference wouldn't work the same way in humans as a general trend especially when you have very isolated populations.

More on topic, who the heck says such a thing?!?!!?

Lady Vavasour

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Re: "You must have had a c-section because your husband's white"???
« Reply #10 on: May 17, 2008, 07:19:32 AM »
First, the idea that there is any such thing as "race" has no scientific basis. Just had to say that.

Second, even if we accept (for the time being) that a small woman/large man pairing can lead to difficulties in childbirth, since when did European men have a monopoly on height? There are plenty of short European men. And plenty of tall Indian men. And so on and so on.

Honestly.

Venus193

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Re: "You must have had a c-section because your husband's white"???
« Reply #11 on: May 17, 2008, 08:08:31 AM »
This is so beyond bizarre no wonder the mother was gobsmacked.  Honestly, who has so little social grace to say such a thing?

Brentwood

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Re: "You must have had a c-section because your husband's white"???
« Reply #12 on: May 17, 2008, 05:08:03 PM »
I don't think there is anything your friend could have said to counter such rudeness.  It would have been a good time for "What an interesting assumption" or "How kind of you to take an interest," but really I would have just been gaping...

I'm with ya.  I've found that people with no common courtesy also have NO common sense.  So trying to explain rational thought to them is futile.  What is the phrase, "Don't argue with a pig, it doesn't accomplish anything, it just annoys the pig."????   I'm still agog over the question.  It's like "It's winter because the file drawer was painted blue" - it makes no sense.   Sigh!   



"Don't get into the mud with a pig. The pig will love it, and you'll just get dirty."

Calypso

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Re: "You must have had a c-section because your husband's white"???
« Reply #13 on: May 17, 2008, 06:51:37 PM »
(warning: rudeness alert)

Possible reply:
"You must have had a lobotomy?"

Mahdoumi

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Re: "You must have had a c-section because your husband's white"???
« Reply #14 on: June 21, 2008, 10:23:28 PM »
Okay, late coming into this thread, but I just read it, and it reminded me of a stunning comment made by my beloved aunt uncle who came to visit me in NY from Arkansas.  At that time, I had a Polish roommate - another divorced mother - whose two small children were biracial.  The older child had just been dx'd with ODD, and roommate was only beginning to cope properly with it.  The child had outbursts (putting it mildly).  Anyway, the child was smack in the middle of full rage in another room, and my aunt, uncle and I were eating dinner.  My uncle says, in all seriousness, "This is what happens when you mix the blood.  Nothing natural comes out of it."  It was all I could do to keep from choking on my meal because I was laughing so hard at him.