Had the bride and groom waited until the bride had a job and saved up some money, they probably could have had the wedding of their dreams.
If more people did this, or if ALL people did this, a lot of problems would be solved.
I get really dismayed by all the young people champing at the bit to get married when they can't even scrape together enough money to pay for their own simple weddings. What's wrong with waiting a few years until they're on their feet financially? What's the big rush?
My own niece and her now dh were that way. No amount of logic could dissuade them. It was maddening.
Just to put a little insight. I myself am getting married now, instead of later due to the fact that my Grandmother is in a nursing home and isn't expected to live many more years. I'm not "rushing" it, but I can say I've chosen my wedding location to be my home state instead of where I live now so that she will be able to attend. I know not everyone falls into the category of these circumstances, but some people do get married "when they want to" rather than waiting for finances to be "perfect" because of a desire to include a loved family member that might not have all the time in the world. I've seena few stories on here where a father or mother is sick or dying and they push up the wedding date to accomodate that persons health problems.
I would never dispute someone's right to get married whenever he or she pleases, for any reason, or no reason at all. What you are doing with your wedding is undoubtedly the right thing to do.
What we are objecting to is the situation that arises when a couple decides to marry before they are financially ready, yet expect that other people sacrifice and pay for their "dream wedding" instead of scaling back and having a wedding that is simpler and more affordable. DH and I married before we finished college, but we had a simple morning ceremony and paid for it ourselves.
Some people say they are "cheated" if they don't have a big white wedding with all the trimmings, and expect their families to go into debt, if necessary, to provide them with it. That is what we are objecting to. If you decide to marry before your finances are "perfect," as you say, then, logically, a consequence of that would be that you spend less on a wedding now than you would five years from now.
People who are mature enough to marry should be mature enough to bear the consequences of their actions. If the choice is, marry now so all the family can be there but have a simpler wedding, or have the dream wedding in five years but take the chance that Granny won't live that long, then I think the mature couple makes the decision and lives with it. The immature couple, on the other hand, decides to get married now but "make" mommy and daddy pay so they can still have the dream wedding (and please note I said "make," because if your parents WANT to pay for your wedding that is fine). I hope I was clear- it is hard to cover all the bases without offending someone.