I'm just a little sad that the sexual revolution was supposed to bring in an age of choice. Instead, it's become a case of whatever is not prohibited is mandatory.
Where did I say that people should never wait? I said that sometimes waiting is the right decision, if it's done for the right reasons, and sometimes it's the wrong decision, if it's done for the wrong reasons. The same is true for not-waiting.
As CathyF says, I was just stating that *sometimes* this can cause hormones to dictate the wedding (whether the couple realize this is what's happening or not.) I have no idea what percentage of the time this happens, and I don't claim to.
The situation I was referring to obeys the letter of the "wait until marriage" rule but not it's spirit, so it says nothing one way or the other about people who are obeying the spirit of the rule as well.
No, I did not think your reply was snarky. I do still interpret your post as saying that waiting until marriage to have sex is more likely to be detrimental to the relationship than having sex before marriage.
I have no idea what the statistics would be-- And there are so many factors that it is hard for statistics to take into account that I'm not sure statistics would help. Not only am I not making any claims about what's "more likely", I don't even have an opinion. I Think that the reasons behind
the decision are more important than the decision itself.
We all have opinions that are swayed by the experiences of ourselves and those closest to us. But this is never a "random sample", so the opinions are necessarily based on biased data-- I fully admit this. If the rush-into-marriage thing came across more strongly, it's not because I think it's "more likely", but because it hits closer to home, and aligns with examples of unhappy marriages I saw growing up.
In any event, a couple that is moving at a measured pace towards marriage but waiting until they get there to have sex is clearly not falling into the "rushing into marriage" trap I'm mentioning here. A couple that is moving towards marriage in what seems to me to be like a rush? Well, who am I to say? Just because I wouldn't be comfortable marrying someone that quickly doesn't mean it won't work for them.