"Oh, but enough about MY sex life; let's talk about yours!" 
"Well Mom, I was actually wondering about that... did you and Dad use square knots or bowlines in the ropes?"
"Sure, we've been lighting candles and praying in both our bedrooms every night!"
{dragging EvilSaphie back into her corner now}
I almost snorted my coffee onto the keyboard for this. Especially the second one.
Luckily on my side my older sibs have provided plenty of grandbabies so my parents don't badger. The bfs' family has produced a couple of gems though. From his father, after we'd been da
ting a grand total of maybe 3 weeks:
"You better marry her now so that there aren't any accidental pregnancies."

(Funny, considering the unplanned (but very loved) baby his *married* younger sister had just given birth to.)
His mother has been a little more tactful about the gradkids thing so far (she just harps on marriage). Although I was cornered one day not too long ago and reminded that the BF is the last male LastName, so we
have to have babies.