Older kids, and kids with severe traumas in their past are really really hard to place, but it's always in their best intrest to find a "forever family". And 40-50 isn't really over the hill just yet . My aunt is nearly 60, and adopted a pair of boys (both with Downs Syndrome) from the Ukraine two years ago.
As the mom of a little boy with Down Syndrome, I bless your aunt.
When DS1 was born, welcomed and loved from day one, my great aunt told me a sad little story no one else in the family had known. She was retired at that point, but had worked as a nurse for years ... including at a women's hospital in the nursery unit. A little girl was born with Down Syndrome and her family had ... refused to take her home.
This was probably about 40-plus years ago, and I know times are different, but ...
Great aunt wanted to adopt her. The authorities wouldn't let her. A single 30-something-year-old woman as a single mom? The scandal! To this day, she still wonders what happened to that little girl.
Such a pity. That child would have had such a wonderful life.