I love my FMIL, but I can easily see her doing something like in the OP's post. There is a good chance her son (my fiance) is her only child that will get married while she's alive. (One sibling is very nice, but doesn't seem to do so well at dating
, and the others are adopted and quite young.) Despite making it clear to her that we are not having children, we're constantly harassed. She backed off quite a bit after my fiance had a little discussion with her, but she still does it. (I told him that as much as I loved his mother, I was going to stop visiting her if she didn't back off on the kids thing!!!)
I've finally started getting somewhat graphic with her. She doesn't REALLY want to think about us having sex, but it underlies the whole conversation. (I can't give her grandbabies with it!) If she insists on making my sexual behavior a topic of public conversation, then I make the conversation explicit enough to make her as uncomfortable as I am. (I've tried the direct route for years. It doesn't stop her!!! But this route does.)
- FMIL: So, my close friend was just showing me photos of her grandchildren and [insert rant about her need to have grandchildren NOW NOW NOW!]. When am I going to get my grandbabies???
- Me: FMIL, I'm not even married to your son yet. I really don't think it's appropriate for you to tell me that I should be having sex with him. And not just any sex, unprotected sex! That just doesn't seem right!
- FMIL: But you could get married over the phone. I've seen it done with other military couples. [Fiance is in Iraq right now.] And then you could give me grandbabies!!!
- Me: Yes, FMIL, you're right, we probably could get married over the phone. But I'm afraid that we can't have sex over the phone. And if fiance came home from Iraq and I was pregnant, I don't think he would be particularly happy.
[FMIL changes the topic after deciding that she can't discuss her son's sex life anymore...]
It's a bit evil, I know, but it's the only thing I've found that gets her to stop. Other than the grandkid obsession, she's a lovely woman!