"Do you know how?"

[savve]

My mother would tell us to get rid of our cat and have kids.

That one really bugs me! What on earth does having a cat have to do with having kids, and why is one thing somehow excluding the other?? A cat is a living, sensing, thinking, feeling being, not something to throw out with yesterdays trash when it isn't convenient anymore! You make a commitment when you take in a kitten, and that lasts out its life, not until you want to go away on vacation next time. And besides, barring serious allergies, a cat is good to have around kids. It strenghtens immunesystems and teaches kindness and responsibility. Unless of course the parents choose to teach that living beings are disposable, trashable things. 
/rant

[pryncsskittyn]

My mother would tell us to get rid of our cat and have kids.

That one really bugs me! What on earth does having a cat have to do with having kids, and why is one thing somehow excluding the other?? A cat is a living, sensing, thinking, feeling being, not something to throw out with yesterdays trash when it isn't convenient anymore! You make a commitment when you take in a kitten, and that lasts out its life, not until you want to go away on vacation next time. And besides, barring serious allergies, a cat is good to have around kids. It strenghtens immunesystems and teaches kindness and responsibility. Unless of course the parents choose to teach that living beings are disposable, trashable things. 
/rant

While this is all very,very true, and I'm a person who grew up in a house FILLED with cats.  Although, certain doctors and professionals believe that a cat litter box will cause toximia in the baby if a pregnant woman comes in contact with the urine of a cat.  Not a big deal, have DH clean the cat box.... also, there's that old school way of thinking that a "cat will steal a baby's breath"....comming from cats smothering sleeping babies while trying to lick the milk from the mouth of the infant. 
Just putting a little insight into where this posters mom might have been comming from.  I managed to work around owning 2 cats and having a baby, so I know it's entirely possible and easy.

[kethria]

I just changed jobs after working in a toxoplasmosis lab for 5 years. An infected cat will only shed ONCE in it's life for 3-4 days, and as long as all feces are disposed of in 24 hours or less, the oocysts will not sporulate and become infective to people...

I had to explain this to the SOHES (Safety and Occupational Health Something Something) lady when she found out I had a positive antibody titer to Toxo and was tearful explaining how I could never have children. Erm... no... infact now I will pass on the antibodies to my child if and when I have one...

There is no reason to get rid of a cat if the woman is pregnant, just learn how to take care of it

/steps off of soapbox

[citybrat]

That one really bugs me! What on earth does having a cat have to do with having kids, and why is one thing somehow excluding the other?? A cat is a living, sensing, thinking, feeling being, not something to throw out with yesterdays trash when it isn't convenient anymore!

I absolutely agree. It drives me nuts when I hear that kind of thing. Cats, dogs and whatever animal you take in as a friend is big responsibility. Just to let you know, we kept the cat to a ripe old age of 18 years. I am glad to meet so many animal lovers, they give a lot. And kids can learn from having them around as well.

[pennylane]

Not my story... but I laughed.  I'm still trying to figure out how this really breached ettiquette

Okay, the first one was here:

I e-mailed my mother-in-law to ask what *her* mother (who lives with my in-laws) would like for Christmas.

Her reply? "Great-grandchildren."

It's rude to try to stick your nose in someone else's reproductive decisions.

and here:

"Do you know how?"

"How what?"

"How to get her pregnant!"

That's just all kinds of inappropriate.

Yes, I would say for sure that's pretty rude and inappropriate.  I don't care if it is family, either, and to me- it goes beyond just being annoying- and I can't say I'd have much of a sense of humor about it- sorry. 

I think it's extremely rude and selfish when parents put demands on their grown kids to reproduce, implying and even saying outright that they are "owed grandchildren."  I'm CF and this really hits a raw nerve with me, and even if I weren't, I think it's still an intrusive, rude, and obnoxious thing to be asking.  There's a number of reasons why a couple may not have kids- and I bet most of them can be very uncomfortable to discuss.

What is the point in asking, anyway?  Does womb police MIL think it'll happen any faster if she does?  Is this dire info that she really needs?  Or is she afraid somehow if they do get pregnant, that they'll keep it a dark, hidden secret from her?

Never understood that.  Thank goodness my mother knows my stance, and only talks about her grandpuppy.  I know my FMIL would be rabid for grandbabies, but also knows we are CF and thankfully, isn't very vocal on the subject.  Can you tell I have strong opinions about this?

[Asharah]

Not my story... but I laughed.  I'm still trying to figure out how this really breached ettiquette, it's just a pushy Mom being annoying I think.  It's funny though.  Wish I could have seen the hubby's face.


I e-mailed my mother-in-law to ask what *her* mother (who lives with my in-laws) would like for Christmas.

Her reply? "Great-grandchildren."

My husband (her only son) and I are 25 and 24. We've been married one year. We don't have health insurance. My husband is still in graduate school, for crying out loud!

But it gets better. I had a cold, and hubby mentioned to his mother that I was "ill." Their conversation follows:

"Is she pregnant?"

"No, she has a cold."

"Do you know how?"

"How what?"

"How to get her pregnant!"

Relatives0117-06

I remember a story about a zoo where they were trying to breed two gorillas and didn't have any luck until they showed them video footage of gorillas mating in the wild! 

[rii]

My mother would tell us to get rid of our cat and have kids.

A friend of mine's MIL used to say things like this to her until one day my friend snapped and replied, "It's not the cats that are keeping us from having kids, it's the condoms."

[Sirius]

I never had this problem.  My dad doesn't care if he ever gets another grandchild, and my inlaws weren't really worried about it, either since we got married later in life.  I think parents/inlaws who badger young married couples to have children just so they can have grandchildren are very inconsiderate.  They seem to forget that babies aren't just something you sit on a shelf and bring out when the grandparents are around; they're a lifetime commitment.  But since it isn't their lifetime, I guess it's okay.

[ladycrim]

I'm resurrecting this topic because I just read it in the archives and it reminds me of my boyfriend's father.

BF and I have been d@ting for two years, cohabiting for one.  We know we will marry someday, but we're not there yet for various reasons.

BF's father is crazy for grandchildren, even though BF and I don't want them.  (BF is an only child, so he's the only chance for grandkids.)  On BF's birthday last month, his father called him.  In the course of their conversation, he said (and I quote), "Well, son, if you're not going to marry her, at least knock her up and get the grandkids going!"   Eeep.

[Twik]

I didn't know there was an incorrect way.

Oh, I'm sure there is. 

[JonGirl]

Not my story... but I laughed.  I'm still trying to figure out how this really breached ettiquette

Okay, the first one was here:

I e-mailed my mother-in-law to ask what *her* mother (who lives with my in-laws) would like for Christmas.

Her reply? "Great-grandchildren."

It's rude to try to stick your nose in someone else's reproductive decisions.

and here:

"Do you know how?"

"How what?"

"How to get her pregnant!"

That's just all kinds of inappropriate.

Yes, I would say for sure that's pretty rude and inappropriate.  I don't care if it is family, either, and to me- it goes beyond just being annoying- and I can't say I'd have much of a sense of humor about it- sorry. 

I think it's extremely rude and selfish when parents put demands on their grown kids to reproduce, implying and even saying outright that they are "owed grandchildren."  I'm CF and this really hits a raw nerve with me, and even if I weren't, I think it's still an intrusive, rude, and obnoxious thing to be asking.  There's a number of reasons why a couple may not have kids- and I bet most of them can be very uncomfortable to discuss.

What is the point in asking, anyway?  Does womb police MIL think it'll happen any faster if she does?  Is this dire info that she really needs?  Or is she afraid somehow if they do get pregnant, that they'll keep it a dark, hidden secret from her?
Never understood that.  Thank goodness my mother knows my stance, and only talks about her grandpuppy.  I know my FMIL would be rabid for grandbabies, but also knows we are CF and thankfully, isn't very vocal on the subject.  Can you tell I have strong opinions about this?

And so what if they do?. Your children are nobodies business and you don't have to say anything if you don't want to.
DH's mother didn't find out anything until I was about 7 months and she was lucky she found out at all.
Other peoples children are a privilige, not a right. People who demand children from others disgust me.   

[purplemuse]

My mother told me something that a friend of hers did to her daughter, who had been married a few years. She cut out a picture of a cute baby from a magazine, handed it to her daughter, and announced, "I want one of these". My mother and her friend both thought that this was hysterically funny. I thought it was very nervy, nosy, and intrusive, but mom didn't agree.

Evilmuse would have framed the picture and given it to the mother.

[Hushabye]

My mother told me something that a friend of hers did to her daughter, who had been married a few years. She cut out a picture of a cute baby from a magazine, handed it to her daughter, and announced, "I want one of these". My mother and her friend both thought that this was hysterically funny. I thought it was very nervy, nosy, and intrusive, but mom didn't agree.

Evilmuse would have framed the picture and given it to the mother.

I think I would have asked her why she gave away a perfectly good one if she wanted one so badly.   

[GoldenGemini]

My mother told me something that a friend of hers did to her daughter, who had been married a few years. She cut out a picture of a cute baby from a magazine, handed it to her daughter, and announced, "I want one of these". My mother and her friend both thought that this was hysterically funny. I thought it was very nervy, nosy, and intrusive, but mom didn't agree.

Evilmuse would have framed the picture and given it to the mother.

I think I would have asked her why she gave away a perfectly good one if she wanted one so badly.   

Also the picture is of a BABY, not a grandchild.  I would say "well, you'll need to talk to your husband about that, but at your age, I don't know that your doctor would recommend it." 

[Lady Stein]

The only time I met Baron's (my bf) mom was at the airport (we were flying back from our study abroad program).  I barley introduced myself to her when she started pestering me about grandchildren.   I was only d@ting Baron for about 2 months at that point.  Also, my parents were there and proceeded to glare Baron's mom into silence.  Baron firmly stated that grandkids aren't going to happen for along while.

I agree that the desire to have children is up to the parents and everyone else should butt out.