Why bother mentioning it?

[Venus193]

This is way over into Toxic Family territory.  I suggest stop feeding the beast. 

Send her the recommended e-mail; don't pussyfoot around it.  Honesty is long overdue here.

[ZipTheWonder]

Just stop doing what you've done in the past.  If she says something about it, just tell her....

....that you thought the two of you had stopped exchanging gifts some time ago. 

[PoisonIvy]

Brief update: I mailed her with a "Gee I sure hope it didn't go to the wrong address" message, and predictably she replied, "Oh, I messed something up because it got returned to me so I posted it again last week."  I think she's lying.  If there wasn't enough postage on it, I would have had to pay the difference.  If it was mis-addressed it wouldn't have been returned to her so quickly.

I guess this does belong in toxic families after all, but I just wanted to give you all an update and say thanks for all the kind replies.  And I won't be acknowledging her birthday in January, nor will I be wishing her a Merry Christmas.  It doesn't mean anything to her anyway.

[ShadesOfGrey]

Brief update: I mailed her with a "Gee I sure hope it didn't go to the wrong address" message, and predictably she replied, "Oh, I messed something up because it got returned to me so I posted it again last week."  I think she's lying.  If there wasn't enough postage on it, I would have had to pay the difference.  If it was mis-addressed it wouldn't have been returned to her so quickly.

I guess this does belong in toxic families after all, but I just wanted to give you all an update and say thanks for all the kind replies.  And I won't be acknowledging her birthday in January, nor will I be wishing her a Merry Christmas.  It doesn't mean anything to her anyway.

good for you. I hate to see relationships that cant be worked out, but it sounds like you are standing up for yourself in this one.  Keep treating her as you would anyone else "Oh really? I didn t know mail could make it back across the pond that quickly! If only hte postal service was that quick everytime someone sent something!"  Then move on.  I am sorry this is not a great relationship for you, but you owe it to yourself to be honest with her.