The skunks are not your friends. Please stop charging them and getting sprayed, especially when Mommy has a busy day at work that will need to be rearranged to take you to the groomer for a super-long spa day. FYI, my co-workers were similarly unimpressed, as Mommy was apparently a bit stinky from merely being in your presence. This was the seventh (!!) time, you should get it by now.
Dear Husband, Please learn to be aware of your surroundings, as you're the one walking the dog in the wee hours of the morning as the skunks are heading back to bed. For the love of little green apples, pay attention! I'd also like to know why it's my job to take her to the groomer, when you're the one who goofed. Please explain.