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  • April 01, 2015, 11:29:36 PM

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Author Topic: Dear Dog:  (Read 103286 times)

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Dr. F.

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #900 on: March 19, 2015, 09:15:32 PM »
Dear Lucas,

Please don't eat any random metal objects that are on the dining table, even if they are smeared with rice and cream sauce. I'm going to have to wait for it to come out the other end, and you know how much I enjoy that.

Your rather irritated Mommy

TriCrazy73

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #901 on: March 20, 2015, 04:12:00 PM »
Dear Sadie,

I know you are just a four-month old baby, but if you could go back to pooping outside, that would be swell.  I know that the snow is melting and you have no where to go...but I promise, the grass is okay!

Also, even though you are a baby, you are 35 pounds and are starting to freak out the smaller puppies in training class.  Can you settle down a tad? 
Thanks lovie,
Mommy

miladyrose

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #902 on: March 22, 2015, 10:52:43 PM »
Dear Stephens,

I know that you get cold easily since you got that much needed haircut, but Daddy doesn't like it when you crawl under his bottom when he's sleeping. We're happy to share the covers, but you need to stay by our feet if you don't want to get squished. Also, looking at me with puppy eyes while I'm eating bacon will not get you a piece. Go eat the nice dog food in your bowl that we spent a fortune on.

Love,
Mommy


Dear Stephens,

You know that medicine that you swore that you wouldn't eat? I hid it in that piece of cheese you ate so happily. Daddy-1, Stephens-0

Love,
Daddy

mlmama

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #903 on: March 22, 2015, 11:48:39 PM »
Dear Sirius,
The puppies are here to stay. Get used to it. They are going to try to play  with you like they do your sister.  Growling and nipping at them isn't working.  Please stop.
Love,  Giver of Chest rubs.

Dear Hercules,
Stop growling and jumping and nipping at Siruis' feet when he is laying quietly on the couch.  The constant baiting will end with you in the kennel nursing hurt feelings.

Dear Dot,
You are so great for learning to go on the paper when you're running freely!  Could you teach your brother to use it EVERY time instead of being close enough and getting the carpet?
Love,
Grandma

Esther_bunny

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #904 on: March 23, 2015, 12:11:06 AM »
I think I am a soft touch. I have 2 Labradors, a silky terrorist, a cat and a husband sharing my bed. They sometimes allow me the use of half a pillow and a corner of a sheet.

Good thing it is a King size!

I see we have the same sleeping arrangement. I have 2 rat terriers, a schnoodle, and one of our cats that expand when they're asleep. Of course they only expand in my direction, not my husbands.

Fliss

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #905 on: March 24, 2015, 05:25:18 AM »

Dear Max

I know you don't like Sam nicking your chewies. But was it really necessary to go 'deranged banshee' on him when he tried to walk past you to the water bowl? Methinks you need some retraining on food permissions my lad.


Dear Sam

You can come out from under my chair now and stop shaking. One, you don't actually fit in a space that would be a squeeze even for a large cat, and your backside and tail are in danger of being run over. Two, Max has been sent to the bathroom 20 minutes ago, with a very sore backside and his ears still ringing I hope. I think it's safe.

Provider of ears and chewies
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

Susiqzer

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #906 on: March 27, 2015, 03:43:12 PM »
Dear Lola,

The skunks are not your friends. Please stop charging them and getting sprayed, especially when Mommy has a busy day at work that will need to be rearranged to take you to the groomer for a super-long spa day. FYI, my co-workers were similarly unimpressed, as Mommy was apparently a bit stinky from merely being in your presence. This was the seventh (!!) time, you should get it by now.

Dear Husband, Please learn to be aware of your surroundings, as you're the one walking the dog in the wee hours of the morning as the skunks are heading back to bed. For the love of little green apples, pay attention! I'd also like to know why it's my job to take her to the groomer, when you're the one who goofed. Please explain.

Love,
Me

wheeitsme

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #907 on: March 27, 2015, 03:55:42 PM »
Dear Dodger,

I know you're new here, and a puppy, and you've just come from a bad situation, but Melody was here first and it's not really nice to sit on her head to get in front of her while she's getting scritches. 
And it's not like you're tiny. 

Dear Melody,

You are allowed to "school" Dodger when he steps out of line.  You don't have to be so darned self-effacing. 


Phoebelion

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #908 on: March 27, 2015, 04:22:45 PM »
Dear Melody,

Yes, please teach that pup some manners.  It will be the best job you can do.

Love, the Mommy to the late Sammi and current rescue Skipper, the angel (formerly know as youhavenomannersyoubrat)

Kimblee

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #909 on: March 27, 2015, 10:26:44 PM »
Dear Rocky,
I am glad that you have reclaimed your new dog bed from the kittens.  I am a bit ashamed that you whined at me about it for almost a week before you decided to brave the little fluffy terrors.  I don't know why you are so scared of small kittens.  You weight 80 pounds.  If the kittens and their mama weigh ten pounds put together and soaking wet, I'd be surprised.
Love,
The human who was quite sure that you were with the dogs at the shelter, not the chickens.

Rocky - Don't worry, you are not alone and it's a completely normal reaction.

Greencat and Rocky (and Kitty) - Congrats on the kittens! ;D

you.... you are a bad person and you should feel bad.  >:D
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Dr. F.

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #910 on: March 29, 2015, 06:24:07 PM »
Dear Pelon,
Why was it necessary to not only eat a mummified snake, but to do so on the sofa? I really need to look over more quickly when I hear you munching on something, even if I'm busy writing an exam.