News: All new forum theme!  See Forum Announcements for more information. 

  • February 01, 2015, 01:42:56 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: Making a change in life: excited, scared, hugs... all mixed up  (Read 647 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

cicero

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 18197
so i have probably discussed this before, but i've made an *actual* decision. I am planning to move back to the US, probably in late may-june. I spoke with my boss already, and told him that i would work till after our conference (in May) for which he thanked me (there have been lots of issues with this conference and i wouldn't want to add any more problems). he said he will try to help me find a job in the US, but I am operating under the assumption that he won't (i mean - he probably will if he can, but I can't rely on this).

I've tried applying for jobs from afar, but that hasn't been successful. a few places had been ready to make an offer "to start next monday", but that is not possible for me. so at this point, i'll be moving without a job in hand (unless, as i said, boss will come through). I know that the job situation in the US isn't great, but I know that i will find something, even if it's temp. I know that in the end it'll be better for me financially in the US, and hopefully career wise as well. I am 54, reasonably bright, hard working, educated and have a lot of experience in writing, editing, web sites, non-profits admin.. I figure that i can work for another 10-15 years and hopefully be able to at least save up something and buy some kind of roof over my head.

So, even though I'm going without a job, and i'm not really sure where i'm moving *to* (since where i'll be living is related to where I'm going to be working), my biggest issue is DS (i've talked about him before, DS is 28, he is battling depression, has gone through a number of programs, is hopefully starting a new job on sunday. He is still living with me, is on disability which (in this country) is not really enough to cover living expenses. he will have to figure out where he will live, and how he will pay for it. I'm really torn between letting him do this on his own, or staying here and supporting him forever. he keeps telling me that he'll be ok and that if he hasn't gotten to the point where he can be financially self supportive by the time i move, then he will move into an assisted living hostel. My brain is saying that he can do this by my heart is having trouble letting go... but i know it's the right thing to do.

At the moment, i'm probably looking to move in the general NYC area (could be NY or NJ suburbs, or brooklyn, or something - wherever it is, has to have easy public transportation access to manhatten). I know that the nicer places are becoming more and more expensive (i've looked in the DUMBO section and was shocked at the rentals prices!). Another area could be the DC area.

So i guess i need a lot of hugs, encouragement, stories about people who changed their lives in their mid-50s and did well...

As I said to my sisters - our grandparents moved to the US from Poland with nothing and they did ok. no reason why i can't.

            Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools

jmarvellous

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3717
Re: Making a change in life: excited, scared, hugs... all mixed up
« Reply #1 on: Yesterday at 10:27:57 AM »
First, you CAN do it! I'm sure of it. All the hugs you need!

Second, most jobs I know about just don't hire 4-6 months in advance, across the board. Please don't give up now. It might be a question of concentrating your applying in about a month and a half to three months from now, but I don't want you to be discouraged because you're not finding employers willing to talk to you so far out.

Third, I would encourage you to start trying to make connections to the Israeli immigrant community (aside from family) or other social and professional networking groups you're interested in now, especially in this internet age where you don't have to be here to connect with people here. So many, many people get jobs through personal connections rather than blind applications.

Fourth, good for you for letting your son do his best on his own now. He's got a lot of challenges ahead, but you've done what you can. He's got a foundation to build on even if all the pieces aren't there yet.

gramma dishes

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8393
Re: Making a change in life: excited, scared, hugs... all mixed up
« Reply #2 on: Yesterday at 11:50:23 AM »
Is there any particular reason you've chosen the New York City area or Washington D.C. as probably living/working destinations?  Those are two of the absolutely most expensive areas in the country!

Good for you for letting your son decide for himself how to handle his situation.  I know it's so hard.  But hopefully you'll both grow from the experience.

cicero

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 18197
Re: Making a change in life: excited, scared, hugs... all mixed up
« Reply #3 on: Yesterday at 12:36:13 PM »
thanks guys!

First, you CAN do it! I'm sure of it. All the hugs you need!

Second, most jobs I know about just don't hire 4-6 months in advance, across the board. Please don't give up now. It might be a question of concentrating your applying in about a month and a half to three months from now, but I don't want you to be discouraged because you're not finding employers willing to talk to you so far out.

Third, I would encourage you to start trying to make connections to the Israeli immigrant community (aside from family) or other social and professional networking groups you're interested in now, especially in this internet age where you don't have to be here to connect with people here. So many, many people get jobs through personal connections rather than blind applications.

Fourth, good for you for letting your son do his best on his own now. He's got a lot of challenges ahead, but you've done what you can. He's got a foundation to build on even if all the pieces aren't there yet.

i have already contacted a social worker in the Jewish social services a few years ago - i have kept in sporadic contat with them. I will definitely re-connect.
I am not looking for a job *now* - unless it's for a summer camp (they started the hiring process for seasonal work).

Is there any particular reason you've chosen the New York City area or Washington D.C. as probably living/working destinations?  Those are two of the absolutely most expensive areas in the country!

Good for you for letting your son decide for himself how to handle his situation.  I know it's so hard.  But hopefully you'll both grow from the experience.
that's where y family is, and that's where the NY office of my organization is (and other, related organizations) so that's where i'm starting.

ETA - so i just spoke with my father who is, under the best of circumstances, nto the most encouraging and often "joking"-but-mean. He did the whole "loud sighs", and tried to make it seem like this is a pipe dream (it isn't), like i don't have to do this (i do), and like i'm going to fail (or in his words "who knows, maybe you'll prove everyone wrong and you will succeed"). thanks dad, that's really encouraging. But, thanks to my ehell training, i remained calm and in control, and using the lather-rinse-repeat technique, i got through to him. i think. I kept repeating "i *am* going to do this, i *will* find a job and it *will* be better for me".  he called me back a few minutes later and said "what i rreally wanted to say is that i wish you the best of luck and i know you will succeed"...
« Last Edit: Yesterday at 12:40:52 PM by cicero »

            Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools

gramma dishes

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8393
Re: Making a change in life: excited, scared, hugs... all mixed up
« Reply #4 on: Yesterday at 02:40:16 PM »
LOL!  Nice turn-around, Dad.   ;D

cicero

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 18197
LOL!  Nice turn-around, Dad.   ;D
yup

            Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools

GreenEyedHawk

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2227
  • Not hot but SPICY
    • My Facebook.  Feel free to add me!
Wishing you the best of luck!  I've never made a huge move like that, I admire your courage.  I live in the same area where I grew up and while I've traveled a lot, I've never actually lived anywhere but here.
"After all this time?"
"Always."