Taking an "Interesting Assumption" to a Rude New Level

[Brentwood]

 I could see this becoming the new 'cute wedding gimme pig poem')

Ack! Say it couldn't be so...!

A combination thereof:


So we don't have any sproglets,
Though we think they're rather fun,
But there's a way to remedy this;
Give us your unborn one!

*sob*

[Twik]

So we don't have any sproglets,
Though we think they're rather fun,
But there's a way to remedy this;
Give us your unborn one!

Oh my goodness! Don't let that get around, someone will USE it! 

[Squeaks]

The one way I could think that this was possibly (remotely) okay:

The couple hands these cards out to EVERYBODY; the waitress who brings them drinks, the guy that bags their groceries, coworkers, barristas, everyone they come into contact with. The idea being that hopefully one of these people will have a friend who is facing a quandry about her pregnancy and will go "Hey, I just got this card from a couple who's trying to adopt. Maybe you should give them a call."

Then the "giving a card to the pregnant waitress not wearing a wedding ring" would be a unfortunate coincidence (and a demonstration of why this is a bad idea) rather than a rude assumption.

See that was the impression I got.  The wording is not "we want your baby, but a  baby.  The woman did not like that noticeably pregnant to me -  I think it is very very possible that the people leavening it did not realize she was pregnant - and that this was just a coincidence.  I did not get the impression that this was targeted, but rather just a flyer the pass around similar to a religious pamplet (haven't we heard of those being left as tips/with tips here?). 

I know a lot of people try different things to find a baby,  this is there's I do not see why the waitress would make the assumptions she did and take it as an insult.  There was nothing on that card insulting directly at her.   

These cards were clearly preprinted and generic - I don't see any evidence that it was targeted at her for being pregnant - I really get the impression it was a coincidence.

Maybe the irony of this will be someone comes forward to let them adopt a baby now that it has gotten more attention.

[jais]

I really don't think it's that bad, either. 

I think it's because the card is so generic.  Isn't more or less like advertising?  They're letting EVERYONE know they are looking to adopt a baby. 

Now, if it were actually a card addressed to "Poor pregnant waitress, we feel you are too poor and uneducated to raise a child....etc.", THAT would bother me.  I can't imagine the pain that a woman that wants a child and can't have one must go through.

I sometimes feel more compassion is shown to women who do NOT want children and are pregnant. 

[wendelenn]

I really don't think it's that bad, either. 

I think it's because the card is so generic.  Isn't more or less like advertising? 

And that's exactly what skeeves me out about the "give EVERYONE a card."  "We don't know you at all, but we're desperate, won't you let us adopt your child?"

Puts the child on the level of a COMMODITY--a THING to be SOUGHT not a PERSON to be loved.

[jais]

I really don't think it's that bad, either. 

I think it's because the card is so generic.  Isn't more or less like advertising? 

And that's exactly what skeeves me out about the "give EVERYONE a card."  "We don't know you at all, but we're desperate, won't you let us adopt your child?"

Puts the child on the level of a COMMODITY--a THING to be SOUGHT not a PERSON to be loved.

I can see that.  I just don't entirely agree with it.  But I do think you make a valid point.

[Minmom3]

The one way I could think that this was possibly (remotely) okay:

The couple hands these cards out to EVERYBODY; the waitress who brings them drinks, the guy that bags their groceries, coworkers, barristas, everyone they come into contact with. The idea being that hopefully one of these people will have a friend who is facing a quandry about her pregnancy and will go "Hey, I just got this card from a couple who's trying to adopt. Maybe you should give them a call."

Then the "giving a card to the pregnant waitress not wearing a wedding ring" would be a unfortunate coincidence (and a demonstration of why this is a bad idea) rather than a rude assumption.

When my cousin was looking to adopt, she sent out something like 10,000 letters to OB's nationwide.  The OB's would know which of their patients were looking to not keep a baby, and could weed out suitable candidates, after which cousin and her DH went out to meet and great several people.  They paid all the medical expenses of the mother and the baby they ended up adopting.  They actually did it more than once, because one mom ended up keeping her baby,  and did NOT repay the medical expenses cousin had paid for.  I liked the idea of going through the OB, it seemed a good way to avoid just what the card handing out did in the story.

[Vegemite Girl]

I really don't think it's that bad, either. 

I think it's because the card is so generic.  Isn't more or less like advertising? 

And that's exactly what skeeves me out about the "give EVERYONE a card."  "We don't know you at all, but we're desperate, won't you let us adopt your child?"

Puts the child on the level of a COMMODITY--a THING to be SOUGHT not a PERSON to be loved.

ITA. And when the thing you're seeking will come to you because of someone else's misfortune, and at the emotional expense of someone else, that just makes it worse.

[kareng57]

The one way I could think that this was possibly (remotely) okay:

The couple hands these cards out to EVERYBODY; the waitress who brings them drinks, the guy that bags their groceries, coworkers, barristas, everyone they come into contact with. The idea being that hopefully one of these people will have a friend who is facing a quandry about her pregnancy and will go "Hey, I just got this card from a couple who's trying to adopt. Maybe you should give them a call."

Then the "giving a card to the pregnant waitress not wearing a wedding ring" would be a unfortunate coincidence (and a demonstration of why this is a bad idea) rather than a rude assumption.

See that was the impression I got.  The wording is not "we want your baby, but a  baby.  The woman did not like that noticeably pregnant to me -  I think it is very very possible that the people leavening it did not realize she was pregnant - and that this was just a coincidence.  I did not get the impression that this was targeted, but rather just a flyer the pass around similar to a religious pamplet (haven't we heard of those being left as tips/with tips here?). 

I know a lot of people try different things to find a baby,  this is there's I do not see why the waitress would make the assumptions she did and take it as an insult.  There was nothing on that card insulting directly at her.   

These cards were clearly preprinted and generic - I don't see any evidence that it was targeted at her for being pregnant - I really get the impression it was a coincidence.

Maybe the irony of this will be someone comes forward to let them adopt a baby now that it has gotten more attention.

I'd have to agree.  As tasteless as this tactic might be to some people, I really doubt that they were targeting the particular waitress.  After all, she's only five months pregnant - many women are barely showing at that stage, especially with a first pregnancy.

People seeking to adopt often indeed are advised to let as many people as possible know.

[housewife2k]

In the article, it mentions that they called the number on the card and asked to speak to Joan, only to be infomed that there wasn't a Joan there. It then went on to say that the adoption atourney knew that calls coming in requesting to speak with Joan were high priority calls.
That means that their adoptuion lawyer is behind them doing this!!

I cannot imagine how hurt I would have been if someone handed a card like this to me while I was pregnant.
I was only 22 when Oldest was born. I looked younger. Many people assumed it was an unwanted pregnancy, and that killed me. I already had enough self doubt about whether or not I would be a good mom, to have someone hand me that card yould have, to me, been like saying "We don't think you will be a good mom, Give us your baby!"

[amaiaisabella]

Creeeeepy.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that constitute harassment under the law? Maybe not, if they just hand the card out, but still...

[FunkyMunky]

I know it's a weird response to this thread, but the only thought this inspires in me is : I really wish there were more babies put up for adoption in this country.

Alas, until the government stops paying $5000 per baby, the ones who don't want them will keep having them.

[Twik]

Creeeeepy.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that constitute harassment under the law? Maybe not, if they just hand the card out, but still...

Why do you think handing someone a card letting them know that they're looking for a baby to adopt is "harrassment"?

I find advertising flyers stuck on my windshield all the time, inviting me, say, to have my ductwork cleaned, or to attend a strip club. Is THAT "harrassment" in your eyes?

[Redneck Gravy]

I think handing out these cards just shows the desperation of the couple trying to adopt. 

While the waitress may have been offended, the other side of the coin might be that she should be flattered someone took enough interest in her to be offering this alternative.

I missed the part where the waitress and her husband went to the press, I assumed they found her for the story.

[Brentwood]

I think handing out these cards just shows the desperation of the couple trying to adopt. 

While the waitress may have been offended, the other side of the coin might be that she should be flattered someone took enough interest in her to be offering this alternative.

I missed the part where the waitress and her husband went to the press, I assumed they found her for the story.

How would the press have known to look for her for this story?

At any rate, there is no way I would find it "flattering" to be "offered an alternative" I neither sought nor wanted.