General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

Splitting the check

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buckeyefan:
A group of us (5-6 people) get together occasionally for dinner at various restaurants in our community. I do not drink alcohol because of medication I take. The other people in the group do drink and often order several bottles of wine during the evening.

When the bill comes they expect me to pay for alcohol even though I do not drink. This can sometimes add $15-20 to my bill. I have asked them to exlude me from the alcohol charge, but they say it's easier to figure out the bill.

I enjoy my friends, but I'm tired of paying for their drinking.

Brennie:
How tacky.

You're not even able to drink alcohol and then want you to pay for them? You need to be more firm. Let them know before you go out that this time you will not be paying for their drinks because you are not able to drink them but you'd still be happy to split the rest of the bill. That's such a simple request, these people don't sound like they respect you or your medical differences.

EvilAlice:

--- Quote ---I have asked them to exlude me from the alcohol charge, but they say it's easier to figure out the bill.
--- End quote ---

Then you laugh and say, "Yes, I'm sure it is. I keep telling my mortgage company that it would be easier for me if they just let me pay whatever I can spare that month, but they won't accept that argument so I'm afraid I can't, either."

Honestly.  I'm no fan of nickel and diming the check "wait, my meal was only $10 and yours was $12...I had one drink but you had two..." but that's ridiculous.  I could even understand it if you USUALLY had wine but didn't on one occasion, because those things have a way of evening out in the long run.  But to expect you to pay for something that you never consume?  That's just nuts.

Rei-chan:
Next time, try this.....

When the server comes to take your order, simply say you would like separate checks.  In the restaurants I have worked in, the POS system will easily split the check by seat number, and even split item costs (in case you are sharing an appetizer or dessert).  If your friends protest, simply state that in prior conversations you were given the impression that it was a hassle to figure out the bill and that this way, no one has to worry about it and can enjoy the evening.   :)

Having waited on many large parties, I found it easier to split checks as I went along than try to split them at the end.  Trust me, your server will thank you for it too!

VorFemme:
I'd simplify this still further - when the first person taking orders for food or drinks shows up - announce that you will need a seperate check.

If pressed for a reason - you might need to leave early, you're tracking expenses this month to prepare a budget, or just a simple "raise eyebrow and why do you need to know" response could work.

If told that you are a spoilsport - raise eyebrow and just look at the speaker. 

I am on meds that don't mix with alcohol myself - but I am lucky enough right now not to be joining anyone for a meal who wants to "split the check" that way.  I have been unfortunate enough to be stuck with a check when they picked up their drink, dropped "their half" on the table, and walked off without asking if I had enough cash on me to pick up their slack.........I felt sorry for the waitress - but I didn't have a blank check on me and it was before ATMs on every corner.........

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