Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Another no-host question

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This happened to a good friend of mine this week...someone who is known for being a considerate and toughtful person.

Our fair city is about to hold an annual public event, sort of like a county fair.  One evening there will be a charity event that is open for anyone to attend, but only in large groups (the smallest is twenty people).  If each couple pays for their own part, the cost is extremely in less than the cost of a sitter.  Usually the spots are taken by employers or other organized groups, but my friend thought it would be fun to see if she could get a group of friends from our neighborhood to go.  The invitations were very clear on the cost per couple and the details of the event, what it's for, what would be involved, etc.

Yesterday she called me and said that of twenty couples she sent it to, she received exactly three responses (we were one of them).

Now, I should mention that she used eVite, because that's how all invitations have been sent in our circles.  This is because everyone agrees that unlike normal invitations, they don't get lost.

My friend was wondering if the lack of response is due to 1)The fact that it was an eVite (doubtful), 2)The fact that the event costs money, thereby relegating it to the same category as invitations to sales parties, or 3)People just being inconsiderate.

I wasn't really sure, but I wonder how all of you would respond if you received an invitation from a close friend for a charity event that costs money.  Would you at least respond to decline if you didn't want to go?


I'm actually *more* likely to respond to an e-vite, as it doesn't require me to make a phone call, and I'm already right there in front of the keyboard ready to check "yes" or "no."

If I didn't want to go, I would respond to decline.

But I'm willing to bet that most of the missing responses are due to distaste for her expecting them to pay anything.

Evil Duckie:
On something like this it is usually better if you have talked about it before and had an idea if people were interested before sending the invite.

If they were not expecting this most would then be put off by the idea. They might not be against the idea, or the organization, but coming out of the blue and expecting to pay could easily make people unresponsive, especially if this is something the group hasn't done in the past.


If it was a close friend, or someone with whom i was used to participating in group activities i wouldn't be put off. The group that i hang out with uses e-vites for random activities, too, just to get an idea who is interested, etc. If, say, Jimbo & Victoria were thinking of going to a concert and were picking up tickets it wouldn't be weird for them to say that they could pick up six at a time & if anyone else was interested tickets are $70 each. No, it isn't etiquette perfect, but I think amongst groups of close friends to-a-t etiquette seldom is followed.

--- Quote from: caranfin on March 01, 2007, 01:20:46 PM ---I'm actually *more* likely to respond to an e-vite, as it doesn't require me to make a phone call, and I'm already right there in front of the keyboard ready to check "yes" or "no."

--- End quote ---

Same here. I'd even go so far to say that if people were offended by being asked about something that was going to cost them $$ they could at least have declined. If that was their reason for not answering at all, then they're answering rudeness with rudeness and that's not cool.


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