Author Topic: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of  (Read 119697 times)

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C0mputerGeek

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Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
« Reply #165 on: August 14, 2009, 01:54:45 PM »
Exactly.  I think it got heated because people were using unflattering descriptors for the "other side."  You know, "people who do this are...." etc.

Yes, any debate that begins or ends with some variation of "You sir are scum!" is bound not to go well. Oh, here are some of the old threads about outside food in theatres:
1. Bringing outside food into theaters
2. Movie theater popcorn
3. Daylight robbery at the cinema

We have had this debate here, numerous times, and it tends to get out of hand.

Midnight Kitty

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Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
« Reply #166 on: August 14, 2009, 02:04:18 PM »
Exactly.  I think it got heated because people were using unflattering descriptors for the "other side."  You know, "people who do this are...." etc.
This bothers me.  This is, after all, an etiquette forum.  I think this thread lists altogether too many topics to be avoided because posters can't be trusted to engage in civil discourse.  I know it's hopeless in politics (at least in the US today) to expect civil discourse, but I thought the one place I would find people listening to each other's position considerately would be an etiquette forum.  It's not really fair to Newbies to say, "Go back and look for long past locked threads and see what was said there.  It's all been said before and there's nothing new you could bring to the topic."

I don't have a solution, but it bothers me at some deep level.  I guess I would rather have posters warned/gagged temporarily/banned (in that order) for using unflattering descriptors than have threads locked &/or topics banned.  Topics in and of themselves are not rude, although I agree that political and religious discussions have other forums and this is an etiquette forum.

I just wish all posters conducted themselves appropriately regardless of the topic. :-\

Anyone want to borrow my rose-colored glasses  ;) >:D
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

kingsrings

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Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
« Reply #167 on: August 14, 2009, 02:23:11 PM »
Ideally, we would all be like that, but since we’re all human and have all kinds of different personalities on this large forum, we’re not going to be like that. That’s the cold, hard truth, IMHO. There are always going to be some topics that simply are too controversial and passionate for too many people on here, hence the ban. 

blue2000

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Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
« Reply #168 on: August 14, 2009, 02:25:01 PM »

I just wish all posters conducted themselves appropriately regardless of the topic. :-\

Anyone want to borrow my rose-colored glasses  ;) >:D

No thanks. I have my own. ;D

Maybe we can pass them around when hot topics come up, along with the coke!
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Midnight Kitty

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Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
« Reply #169 on: August 14, 2009, 04:45:02 PM »
Maybe we can pass them around when hot topics come up, along with the coke!
Cheers!

OT to blue2000 - We, too, have two kitties, no waiting ;D  They are full sisters, littermates, and they tag team us.  First one "kneads" (needs), then the other.  We call them our "Needful Things."  >:D (credit to S. King)
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

blue2000

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Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
« Reply #170 on: August 15, 2009, 03:11:38 PM »
LOL! That's very sweet of them. :)

Mine simply lie in wait nearby for an opportunity to be petted, close enough to give me a reminding nudge now and then - or make an opportunity by climbing on me and flinging a casual tail in my face. If I'm really ignoring them, they have been known to head-butt me hard enough to bruise. They're not terribly patient kitties. ;D

[/OT]
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jillybean

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Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
« Reply #171 on: August 30, 2009, 11:02:51 PM »
I came here to see if hand washing after using the restroom was listed as a hot topic, but this thread has grown to 12 pages long!  I'm wondering if a lot of newbies would be willing to wade through all 12 pages.  Maybe they need to be summarized in the first post or something.  Just a thought.
Texas

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Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
« Reply #172 on: August 31, 2009, 12:47:27 AM »
I came here to see if hand washing after using the restroom was listed as a hot topic, but this thread has grown to 12 pages long!  I'm wondering if a lot of newbies would be willing to wade through all 12 pages.  Maybe they need to be summarized in the first post or something.  Just a thought.

They are summarized in the first post.  Is it not up to date?

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Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
« Reply #173 on: August 31, 2009, 02:16:54 AM »
I came here to see if hand washing after using the restroom was listed as a hot topic, but this thread has grown to 12 pages long!  I'm wondering if a lot of newbies would be willing to wade through all 12 pages.  Maybe they need to be summarized in the first post or something.  Just a thought.

Dotty has said earlier in this thread that she'll update the first post when she has the chance. She isn't paid staff, so we''ll just have to be patient. :)

DottyG

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Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
« Reply #174 on: August 31, 2009, 08:32:00 PM »
I'm in the process, but it's a tedious task!  Plus, our list is getting quite long!


DottyG

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Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
« Reply #175 on: September 01, 2009, 06:18:02 PM »
Ok, the list is fairly up-to-date.

Not everything in this thread is in the OP, because I tried to pick out the really biggies.  If anyone wants to read about some others, the thread's still here, and they can read them as well.  If there's a biggie that I left out, though, let me know.

I also tried to organize it a bit into types of issues.  Hopefully, this makes it a tad easier to read.

(If I listed everything that we've put in the thread, we'd have no more to discuss at EHell! :D)


MrsO

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Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
« Reply #176 on: September 01, 2009, 06:22:57 PM »
Ok, the list is fairly up-to-date.

Not everything in this thread is in the OP, because I tried to pick out the really biggies.  If anyone wants to read about some others, the thread's still here, and they can read them as well.  If there's a biggie that I left out, though, let me know.

I also tried to organize it a bit into types of issues.  Hopefully, this makes it a tad easier to read.

(If I listed everything that we've put in the thread, we'd have no more to discuss at EHell! :D)



Thank you, Dotty!  :)

VorFemme

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Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
« Reply #177 on: September 01, 2009, 06:40:20 PM »
Hmm…..I don’t remember the topic of shoes at work ever becoming heated or hostile.

The company was run out of the boss's home and it did get a bit long..........I don't remember details anymore - I think it might have been how much the Etiquette Hellion employee knew about the housekeeping (or lack thereof) while watching her boss run around barefoot and trying to talk the employee into being barefoot, too................

But the one poster who seemed to have a very similar writing style to someone who wrote an advice column about the same subject rather set the subject up as suspiciously close to being "troll bait" or possibly as someone's fetish that they were enjoying in all the wrong ways for an etiquette board...........well, nobody wants to talk about shoes in the house.........

Even "in Japan, it is commonly expected to remove shoes and wear slippers provided by the host or brought along by their guests" runs the risk of being side tracked into a thousand or more sidelines.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Snakes on the table at a restaurant - the vast majority of the group agreed that it was a bad idea (they carry salmonella, a lot of people are phobic about snakes, and there is no controlling what they do on the table - unlike babies, they don't wear diapers that MIGHT protect the table a little bit). 

The same thing goes for bug-eating lizards - we might like the idea of the bugs (mice, other vermin) being eaten by lizards, cats, snakes, or whatever - but we don't want to see either the predator or the prey in a restaurant, whether kitchen, dining area, bathroom, or storage areas.
« Last Edit: September 01, 2009, 06:53:56 PM by VorFemme »
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Midnight Kitty

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Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
« Reply #178 on: September 01, 2009, 07:09:29 PM »
Even "in Japan, it is commonly expected to remove shoes and wear slippers provided by the host or brought along by their guests" runs the risk of being side tracked into a thousand or more sidelines.
Even in Hawaii, it is considered rude to wear your "outside shoes" inside.  If I recall correctly, and it might have been a different thread, the controversy seemed to be over the unwillingness (or inability) to understand when other cultural practices prevail and "roll with the flow."  When I lived on the US Mainland, I thought it an odd, and affected, practice to take off shoes when entering someone's home.  My bad :P

Although I am now a converted "cats inside only" person, I didn't used to be and I understand both sides of the debate in the US.  It wasn't until posting here that I discovered how practices vary around the world.  I thought it was cool that we could come here & share, until posters abandoned civil discourse and started bashing each other. :-\

This illustrates the problem with a list of subjects that get banned because some posters are rude.  How can we ever learn enough to understand each other if we can't talk about the topic?
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

VorFemme

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Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
« Reply #179 on: September 01, 2009, 08:06:32 PM »
Even "in Japan, it is commonly expected to remove shoes and wear slippers provided by the host or brought along by their guests" runs the risk of being side tracked into a thousand or more sidelines.
Even in Hawaii, it is considered rude to wear your "outside shoes" inside.  If I recall correctly, and it might have been a different thread, the controversy seemed to be over the unwillingness (or inability) to understand when other cultural practices prevail and "roll with the flow."  When I lived on the US Mainland, I thought it an odd, and affected, practice to take off shoes when entering someone's home.  My bad :P

Although I am now a converted "cats inside only" person, I didn't used to be and I understand both sides of the debate in the US.  It wasn't until posting here that I discovered how practices vary around the world.  I thought it was cool that we could come here & share, until posters abandoned civil discourse and started bashing each other. :-\

This illustrates the problem with a list of subjects that get banned because some posters are rude.  How can we ever learn enough to understand each other if we can't talk about the topic?

Been to Hawaii and I have an aunt married to a man of Japanese ancestry - they have lived and worked in Japan several times over the course of their marriage.  They prefer to run their house "Japanese style" with outdoor shoes kept by the door and people running around barefoot or in slippers (she sews - slippers can be safer - but pins do sweep up on tile or hardwood floors than on carpet). 

Some threads have devolved into "but WE think that it is wrong, unsanitary, rude, nasty, or doing it THAT WAY is KINKY" so everyone should do it the way we do it or else........

Shades of Star Trek:  Deep Space Nine with a Ferengi making comments about how "kinky" it is for hoo mans to let their women wear clothes, because that just isn't the way the Ferengi do things.............but I digress. 

I really don't see wearing shoes or not wearing shoes indoors as a religious issue, a hygienic nightmare due to the possibility of cross-contamination, a political issue, a moral issue (similar to vegans versus omnivores), or something so kinky that it it should only involve consenting adults in private. 

But there are apparently people who are so vocal and opinionated about anyone else doing something *different* than their own experience that it rapidly becomes impossible to continue a calm, rational conversation on the subject.

Sometimes it amazes me what subjects those are - I mean, politics & religion were traditionally subjects to be avoided because of the potential for controversy...........but there are a whole host of other subjects that have come up here that have been at least that polarizing.

Which is why the Jane Goodall Observation of Primates techniques on handling things have become a catch phrase here as well.............



Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?