For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of

[Drunken Housewife]

I can't believe no one has mentioned this continual source of high blood pressure and bad will between ehellions:

any mention of a pet cat which is allowed by its owner to go outside.

The very fact that some people allow a cat to go outside makes some eHellions practically spit blood, and yet many (particularly British eHellions) cannot get their mind around the horribleness of a cat being confined for life indoors.  I wince every time a topic comes up involving a cat who went outside.

[kingsrings]

That was already mentioned earlier.

[Thriving ~ the next adventure]

And, remember, if you find something really interesting or cool about the Wizard of OZ, make sure to alert DottyG!

[Lisbeth]

Something that's gotten really heated lately is whether or not to tell dinner or wedding hosts about one's food issues unsolicited.

[kingsrings]

Halloween – every single year on this forum at Halloween time, there is a discussion on trick or treating – who, when, where, and how children can trick or treat, and what can be given as treats – and it always gets heated. Mark my words – in a couple of months, the discussion will rear it’s ugly head once again.

[MrsO]

Halloween – every single year on this forum at Halloween time, there is a discussion on trick or treating – who, when, where, and how children can trick or treat, and what can be given as treats – and it always gets heated. Mark my words – in a couple of months, the discussion will rear it’s ugly head once again.

What a coincidence, I was reading through some old threads today, a few of them were about Hallowe'en. You're right, they were mostly heated, and some locked. Not even about just trick or treating- hallowe'en in schools, the meaning of hallowe'en, if it's offensive to some religions, etc.

[kingsrings]

This has come up several times, and it is almost always heated it seems: the appropriate behavior for graduation and wedding ceremonies to express one's joy.

[twinkletoes]

I think I've said something like this before:  It's not so much that there are differing opinions on a topic, and that you will probably never get a compromise between Side A and Side B - but it's HOW the opinions are stated that really get folks riled up.  If you assign a value judgment about people who do "x" (EX:  "*I* would never be caught dead eating purple noodles, as it's so stupid and anyone who eats purple noodles is an idiot/uncouth individual/lazy/has halitosis"), then yes, a fight will break out between the two sides. 

I have read some of those heated threads, and I've seen people making comments like "Well, if you do X, you must not care about your pet/child/husband."  I mean, WOW, what an assumption to make! 

[snowball's chance]

Some have been mentioned, I know:

reproductive choices (the Duggars, Octuplet Mom)
Should guests where shoes on or off in the house?
breast-feeding (not just in public)
Shopping carts: return to cart corral in the parking lot, or leave next to your parking space?
Serve or not serve alcohol &/or meat at parties/events
Strollers on buses/trains
cigarette smoking (I've seen the most inocuous of smoking threads turn into "Bash Smokers")
school supplies- do schools/districts/teachers have the right to dictate certain brands (CRAYOLA crayons, MEAD notebooks) on supply lists?
children/pets on planes
Reserved public parking for expectant moms

[Drunken Housewife]

That was already mentioned earlier.

I read EVERY SINGLE page of this thread before posting and double-checked that it wasn't in the list in the first post collecting the topics.  Dang, it is hard to get things right.

Also, the topic of cats outside is such a hot one that me merely posting on here that it is a hot topic got me some pointed PM action.  That is a  hot topic, all right.

[kingsrings]

Here’s a way to search a thread for a topic that is much faster, accurate, and easier than going through every single page: click into the thread, then go to the top of the page where the search option is and enter the word you’re searching for. It will take you to every post in the thread that has it.

[War_Doc]

Lunch in waiting rooms is one I nominate for this honor.

[DottyG]

I think we need to differentiate, though, between a topic that gets debated (in an acceptable way) and a "hot topic".  There really is a difference between the two.  People can have differing opinions in a thread and debate them.  That's not something that needs to be squelched; it's a free and open discussion amongst EHellions.  And, that's good.

What's not good is a topic that brings out the very worst in everyone that posts.  One where it gets super heated and creates a potential for people who normally get along and like each other to say things that hurt their cyberfriends.

I don't see the lunch in the waiting room as a hot topic that's dangerous.  People are pretty cool in there and discussing their views rationally - even if they differ from the views before them.  Granted, it's a topic that, in the future, might be better just continued in the current thread rather than brought up as a completely new issue.  But, then, that's true of pretty much a lot of issues.

Does that make sense?

[wordgirl]

I think I've said something like this before:  It's not so much that there are differing opinions on a topic, and that you will probably never get a compromise between Side A and Side B - but it's HOW the opinions are stated that really get folks riled up.  If you assign a value judgment about people who do "x" (EX:  "*I* would never be caught dead eating purple noodles, as it's so stupid and anyone who eats purple noodles is an idiot/uncouth individual/lazy/has halitosis"), then yes, a fight will break out between the two sides.  

I have read some of those heated threads, and I've seen people making comments like "Well, if you do X, you must not care about your pet/child/husband."  I mean, WOW, what an assumption to make!  

Right. It's not alwaysthe topic that gets inflammatory. It's the style of debate. And I think almost all of us have been guilty of being swept along in the fire. I know I have.

Almost all the items on Dotty's list constitute valid topics for discussion on EHell. But having the list is still helpful, because it lets us know what topics have resulted in angry-style posts before, and those who have been around awhile take heed not to fan the flames in a topic that's previously been volatile.

(Dotty is also right that there are some "dangerous" topics. I'd put inside/outside cats or kid leashes into that category - people are NEVER going to agree on those issues, so even when there's a question that directly touches on etiquette, it's likely it will get buried under the weight of angry posts on either side. I have seen civil debate on topics related to those items but it's not the norm.

[Chocolate Moose]

Thanks for putting together this thread - even though I've been around for awhile I didn't know about some of these.  I think what this thread really highlights is something I was thinking about the other day.  I was talking to a friend about something I read on e-hell but censored myself and said 'oh on the internet somewhere' because saying I was on an etiquette forum sounds boring - but its not!  E-hell is such a dynamic place and we talk about a surprisingly large array of important topics.