Being "told" to donate for owners present AND told the amount?

[lecach]

I just started this job 2 weeks ago. It's a small company with less than 20 employees. Our holiday party is during the work day next week. We're having a covered dish (meat provided by company) and a white elephant gift exchange. We got an email today saying that the staff would like to give the owner a gift certificate to a local spa and everyone should give $10 to the secretary. First of all being told that we're doing this is annoying. And then being told the amount? For the record I like the owner, she's actually a distant relative.

What say you, ehellions?

[Chocolate Cake]

I think it is presumptuous to make a demand like that.   I would probably reply, "Count me out, please. I've already made other arrangements."   Those 'other arrangements' then, is up to you....maybe it's a nice card, a plate of cookies, or.....nothing.

[platys]

If its a small company, folks have probably been working together for awhile.   They might just be used to donating every year, and its a given that they give a certain dollar amount.  It's possible they all discussed it before you were hired - thus the "Everyone give 10 bucks to the secretary" email is just the finalization to that discussion.

[graceh9]

every office seems to have the busy body who wants to curry favor with the boss and this sort of lavish gift is a typical example -- it is ludicrous for the boss who makes the big bucks to be given a lavish gift that is beyond what the employees are likely to get at Christmas from anyone -- while the employees get a mug or a candy cane or whatever -- often these plans are not particularly endorsed by the boss (although since you are new you don't know how the dynamics of this place work)

if everyone is getting a giant bonus, well maybe such a gesture is appropriate

the advice to say 'count me out, I have made other arrangements' is the right way to go -- but there are slight risks to this in an environment where you don't know the norms well

[ShadesOfGrey]

I just started this job 2 weeks ago. It's a small company with less than 20 employees.
What say you, ehellions?

It's a small company, so this is probably normal behavior for them (whether it is appropriate or not is another issue).  This is probably what they do every year (and they probably already discussed a budget before you arrived or without you), so they didnt even think to say "IF you would like to donate..." Thus I say, you should feel free to make your own arrangements, but if you aren't opposed to the gift idea, I would go ahead and chip in whatever you can afford of the amount. 

[Xanthia, Maker of fine Tin-foil hats since 2007]

every office seems to have the busy body who wants to curry favor with the boss and this sort of lavish gift is a typical example -- it is ludicrous for the boss who makes the big bucks to be given a lavish gift that is beyond what the employees are likely to get at Christmas from anyone -- while the employees get a mug or a candy cane or whatever -- often these plans are not particularly endorsed by the boss (although since you are new you don't know how the dynamics of this place work)

if everyone is getting a giant bonus, well maybe such a gesture is appropriate

the advice to say 'count me out, I have made other arrangements' is the right way to go -- but there are slight risks to this in an environment where you don't know the norms well

I have also always heard it is bad form to present the big boss or bosses with lavish Christmas Gifts/Holiday Gifts.  Heck, they know how much you make, and they probably make a substantial bit more than that, giving a huge holiday gift just seems squicky.

I am a department manager, and I have bought small gifts for my staff  a calendar with Betty Boop for one and a Hand Mixer for the other (Well, one is like a daughter to me and the other is my best friends mom...) and they will get their usual candy basket, but I do not want anything from them.  I know how much they make, and although I do not make that much more than them, one has a toddler and a baby on the way and the other is a widow trying to make ends meet, any money they spent on me is money away from their families, and $10.00 is a HUGE amount when you are struggling.

Large gift exchanges are discouraged by our company, and I am very happy for that.

[Athos_000]

If its a small company, folks have probably been working together for awhile.   They might just be used to donating every year, and its a given that they give a certain dollar amount.  It's possible they all discussed it before you were hired - thus the "Everyone give 10 bucks to the secretary" email is just the finalization to that discussion.

This is how my company works and I don't really mind because our big boss is a nice guy who gives very generous Christmas bonuses and throws a fantastic party for the company employees every year. However, I can see how it would come across as rude to a new employee who hasn't worked here long enough to enjoy the "extras" the rest of us have. I would have felt differently at any of the other jobs I have held in the past, as all of them treated employees like dirt - there is no way I would have given money for a gift for any of those bosses

[Slartibartfast]

Since you're new to the job and it looks like you don't have much choice, I would go along with it.  Don't track down the secretary; wait until someone comes to collect it from you (so you know for sure it's not optional), but do have $10 ready.  Then next year, when you know what's going on, you can choose not to participate.

[ZipTheWonder]

My advice:  Be the one who doesn't suck up.  Let your work speak for itself with your employer.  (If you are closely enough related that you would normally gift her as a relative, do that privately.)

And let the gifts and bonuses at holidays flow the other direction.

[supernova]

Actually...

I would advise you to ignore the email.

If anyone actually asks you about it, I'd look faintly surprised and say, "Oh, I didn't realize that included new hires!  Since I haven't met (big boss)/haven't gotten on the payroll cycle/am not familiar with the protocol around here yet, I just assumed it was for the more senior staff members."  Then remember that you don't have any cash with you, smile, and say, "I'll have to catch up with Secretary later."

Pressuring you like this is unbelievably inappropriate--especially if, as I suspect, you haven't even gotten your first paycheck yet!  (In my experience, I never got a check on the first pay cycle, and pay cycles were 2 weeks each.)

     - saphie

[gjcva1]

"Oh, I didn't realize that included new hires!  Since I haven't met (big boss)/haven't gotten on the payroll cycle/am not familiar with the protocol around here yet, I just assumed it was for the more senior staff members."  Then remember that you don't have any cash with you, smile, and say, "I'll have to catch up with Secretary later."

Pressuring you like this is unbelievably inappropriate--especially if, as I suspect, you haven't even gotten your first paycheck yet!  (In my experience, I never got a check on the first pay cycle, and pay cycles were 2 weeks each.)

     - saphie

obviously, since OP stated that the big boss is a distant relative, i don't think the bolded portion of this statement will work.  but i too feel it is somewhat silly for the employees to gift the higher-ups with gifts they could easily afford themself.  if pursued, i would simply state that i cannot afford to contribute at this time, since i have not yet received my first paycheck. 

[wetblanket]

It's very rude and presumptuous to tell employees to contribute their own $$ for something like a gift for the boss, or another employee or whatever.  It should be totally optional and voluntary and confidential.

How to handle it?  Let the secretary chase you, but don't have the money right away.  Let the secretary ask a couple of times so that when you do chip in (unless you've decided to refuse), it will stick in the secretary's mind that you did so.

[audrey1962]

I agree with all the posters that this is horribly rude. However, if it were me and I had only been at a company for two weeks, I'd probably pay the $10, observe how the process works and how the boss reacts when presented the gift, try to make changes to this policy next year, and if they don't change the policy, decline to participate in all subsequent years. You're new to the company and don't yet know the office politics.

[Heavenly]

I have to respectfully disagree.

I've worked for small companies before (7 employees and 15 employee, respectfully) and in both cases we were told to chip in and how much.  I wasn't offended, nor did I think it was pushy, that was just the way it was and had always been.  Small company--different etiquette.  In a large company it may seem like brown nosing, but in a small company it's just part of the "family" feel.

In a small company (in most cases) the owner doesn't usually make oodles of money and I think a group gift is a very nice gesture.  Just because they might be able to afford the gift (like a spa certificate) doesn't mean they would buy it for themselves.  In both companies that I worked for, the owner would provide very nice catered dinners as well as very generous gifts for our Christmas parties.  They always seemed to enjoy and be grateful and happy to receive our "group" gift in return.

$10.00 doesn't seem like that big of an amount to get upset about and refusing to pay it may cause resentment among the other employees.  If you're new to this job...is $10.00 really worth possibly alienating your co-workers?

[gjcva1]

$10.00 doesn't seem like that big of an amount to get upset about and refusing to pay it may cause resentment among the other employees.  If you're new to this job...is $10.00 really worth possibly alienating your co-workers?

it might be a bit unreasonable for her co-workers to expect $10 from someone who hasn't gotten their first paycheck yet.  it seems perfectly reasonable that she not be expected to contribute this year.  but next  year would be a different story altogether, if this is the norm for that company.