A small group of friends email each other, often several times a day. We all have a common interest, although we do have more things than that in common. The reason we all email one another constantly is that we are all on a journey to better health and we can support one another this way.
All of the friends are wonderful people. One of the friends, although still wonderful, tends to make comments that come across a different way than maybe (or maybe not) she intends. It is hard to explain, except that if someone says they accomplished some kind of goal and everyone is congratulatory, this one friend makes a comment that tends to "take the wind out of ones sails". It seems like a compliment veiled with a put down. Although it may seem subtle to an outsider, since we have all been communicating for years, it's fairly easy for one of us to detect.
So the last time a comment such as this was made, I wrote back "what an interesting observation". I've never written anything like this before, but I was starting to get tired of her comments/remarks.
She inquired why I would write that and I tried my best to explain without putting her down - I just mentioned that I don't like to focus on the negative stuff - and in response she exclaimed that she has to watch everything she says (writes), she can't say (write) this or that without someone getting all over her, she's not going to be communicating with us for a while, yada yada yada. I felt bad for writing what I did, but one of the other friends emailed me and wrote "she will never get it".
So, I guess sometimes people really don't get it. They may never get it.
Sometimes I guess you just have to try and lead by example...or let people be "themselves" no matter how prickly they can be, either put up with them if you like them enough, or say goodbye.
P.S. I did try and smooth things out and she seems okay now and said she overracted. I guess I'll be walking on eggshells for a while too.