I have kept my silence, but I might burst

[MadMadge43]

When I first took my job on November 11th last year I was told that not only would I organize the office Holiday Party but the Association's Holiday party which I was immediatly put on the board of. (I actually attended a board meeting the night before I started working and was put to the job) Considering I was brand new to the area, this was not a small task.

I had no contacts, didn't know either of the areas and no idea about venues. Association party was much more elaborate than they had ever had and because of the silent auction I organized they made $1,200 which they didn't even know they could do. It was a mild success, but the venue was not so great (I tried using a board members hotel, which proved not to be popular) So in January I insisted that we start organizing this years party. We got together committee, party planners and used all of our resources. I turned over the party to a professional party planner on our association and instead worked on the silent auction with another person. With months of preplanning, we made $5000 this year.  And the party was amazing!  And of course meeting planner gets all the kudos for the party, not one word about me making sure it was done early.

But all I have heard, by very well meaning people who did not realize the situation last year, was how much better they did it than last year.  Well of course you did!  I have smiled and tried not to get offended.

Now the office party; I completely stepped back from the office Holiday party this year, and let the department head who gave me non-stop grief last year handle it all. Last year I stepped up the party for the first time, from pizza and beer, and in our limited budget, managed to get a nice private area in a glitzy restaurant, have complimentary wine & beer, appetizers and entertainment (for $50 inclusive a person).

Every decision I made was frought with contraversy, the menu, the venue, the time. I did not know these people and considering we have every ethnic dietary constraint possible it was also very time consuming and annoying trying to make sure everyone was accounted for. I also tried a few new party ideas.

Well, I keep hearing from one person in particular who did not like how we distributed presents last year. She keeps saying right in front of my face, well as long as we don't do it like last year...Then she says, well as long as we get more choices than last year...

Tomorrow night is the party and I swear if I hear her say "this is so much better than last year..." (they also took the budget from $50 to $70, so it's a lot easier to do and Department head planning gets his beef choice) in front of me I might explode after just dealing with it with the association.

I was furious last year that I was put in this position and I am even madder that I still have to keep dealing with it. I need to be able to say something with a smile on my face and let this roll off, what is it that I say?

[Clara Bow]

Tell her that you have a cross in the car if she'd like to nail you to it....
I think the best response is no response. Smile sweetly and find a reason to vanish.
Honestly, what kind of company does this to people??

[Chocolate Cake]

No good deed goes unpunished.   

Maybe that's what you say to anyone who complains, immediately followed by saying, "Perhaps you'd like to be on the planning committee next year then?"

[wetblanket]

This kind of thing, plus my own office Xmas party dramas (on another thread), are why I wish the "tradition" of the office Xmas party will get killed off somehow.  It causes more grief and distress than joy, so why do it?

Plus, this "tradition" only started in the 1920s or so.  Previously workers might just have a quiet drink together in the office before leaving on Xmas Eve.

[supernova]

"Oh, I'm so glad you said something!  We so desperately need someone to handle the planning next year; what is your availability?  Meetings begin in January..."

"You're a great sport for volunteering.  What position on the committee are you interested in taking?  Meetings begin in January."

Both, of course, said with a big relieved smile.  When the inevitable backpedaling begins, look shocked and disappointed.  "Oh, are you sure?  Really, I had no problem doing this *and* my job, it only took 3-4 hours of volunteer time a week.  And it's lots of fun!"

I know it sounds a bit snarky, but surprisingly enough, I've gotten a lot of volunteer assistance this way.  In my volunteer group, most people think you have to be asked to do certain jobs; and every time someone came to me to complain that I wasn't doing mine, I'd reply with something akin to the above.  More often than not, I got a volunteer or at least an ally out of it.

     - saphie

[jfulle5]

I agree with the "if it was so bad then why dont you do something about it" approach. At least that way the person know that you know that they are talking about you and it puts them as having to be in the active position instead of passively complaining about it.

[MadMadge43]

I attended the function tonight and it was really nice. Nobody said anything nasty infact, I told the organizer that had given me so much trouble last year that it was wonderful, he turned and said, really, that means so much because you're the expert and I was just trying to keep up to your standards.

So maybe all the work I did last year was not for naught and somebody did notice.  I feel all warm inside, or maybe that was the three glasses of wine.

[FoxPaws]

One of the best systems I ever heard of for putting on events came from my niece's pre-school:

Their annual Halloween Carnival had a Director and an Assistant Director. This year's Assistant is next year's Director. I would imagine this eliminates a lot of problems.