Wedding on Holiday Weekend?

[idgie]

mine is july 4.. the day, not the weekend. (friday).

If I were to do this allll over again, i probably wouldn't.  I love the idea, and I think it's going to be a fun wedding, but we're getting a lot of rsvp no's for ppl that I personally would go to their wedding on a MAJOR holiday.  I guess I'm a bit offended that someone is more interested in having a BBQ or going swimming (or golfing) than seeing someone that's supposed to be really close to them get married.  yes, I'm bitter.  (that's another post - former MOH issues).

I think that this is the risk you take when scheduling on a major holiday.  And for many families, the 4th or Memorial Day is THE family vacation of the year, and it's tradition.  I don't think I would move my annual family vacation, unless it was for a sibling.

Except the 4th is not a "major" holiday.  Major is christmas, new years, thanksgiving, easter.  Not sure even new years is major.  And if someone had an annual 4th vacation, I'd understand.  Someone (supposedly close to you) would rather sit in the yard and BBQ, I don't understand.  Call me a bridezilla, I do not care - I've now re-evaluated a couple rel@tionships.

[RedandBlackRoses]

I had the same concerns. Mine is the Saturday before Memorial Day next year. Everyone I talked to (mostly family) thought that was a great idea because that's a 3 day weekend. We didn't (or aren't) send save the dates, but spread the news through word of mouth.
Father's day isn't a major holiday. To quote my father last weekend when I gave him a card "Oh, today's father's day. I didn't even know."

[jimithing]

mine is july 4.. the day, not the weekend. (friday).

If I were to do this allll over again, i probably wouldn't.  I love the idea, and I think it's going to be a fun wedding, but we're getting a lot of rsvp no's for ppl that I personally would go to their wedding on a MAJOR holiday.  I guess I'm a bit offended that someone is more interested in having a BBQ or going swimming (or golfing) than seeing someone that's supposed to be really close to them get married.  yes, I'm bitter.  (that's another post - former MOH issues).

I think that this is the risk you take when scheduling on a major holiday.  And for many families, the 4th or Memorial Day is THE family vacation of the year, and it's tradition.  I don't think I would move my annual family vacation, unless it was for a sibling.

Except the 4th is not a "major" holiday.  Major is christmas, new years, thanksgiving, easter.  Not sure even new years is major.  And if someone had an annual 4th vacation, I'd understand.  Someone (supposedly close to you) would rather sit in the yard and BBQ, I don't understand.  Call me a bridezilla, I do not care - I've now re-evaluated a couple rel@tionships.

I actually consider the 4th and New Years to be major holidays, as do many, many people I know. But if there's no good reason why they aren't coming, I would be hurt to. I still think it's something that you have to consider when scheduling a wedding on a holiday, especially one that  many Americans consider to be a major, important holiday.

[gjcva1]

Except the 4th is not a "major" holiday.  Major is christmas, new years, thanksgiving, easter.  Not sure even new years is major.  And if someone had an annual 4th vacation, I'd understand.  Someone (supposedly close to you) would rather sit in the yard and BBQ, I don't understand.  Call me a bridezilla, I do not care - I've now re-evaluated a couple rel@tionships.

actually, i look on an invitation on a holiday weekend the same way i look on any invitation.  it is certainly my perogative to politely decline, and the reason doesn't matter.  as we say here constantly, an invitation is not a summons.  and actually, i would hope that a polite refusal of an invitation would be respected without demanding a reason so that the host can judge if the reason for refusal is acceptable or not. 

[Dindrane]

Except the 4th is not a "major" holiday.  Major is christmas, new years, thanksgiving, easter.  Not sure even new years is major.  And if someone had an annual 4th vacation, I'd understand.  Someone (supposedly close to you) would rather sit in the yard and BBQ, I don't understand.  Call me a bridezilla, I do not care - I've now re-evaluated a couple rel@tionships.

actually, i look on an invitation on a holiday weekend the same way i look on any invitation.  it is certainly my perogative to politely decline, and the reason doesn't matter.  as we say here constantly, an invitation is not a summons.  and actually, i would hope that a polite refusal of an invitation would be respected without demanding a reason so that the host can judge if the reason for refusal is acceptable or not. 

POD.

I have never considered the 4th of July to be anything but a major holiday anywhere inside of US borders.  A lot of people have long-standing traditions that involve a lot more than a backyard barbecue with immediate family.

I would not automatically decline a wedding invitation on that weekend, but I would have to weigh accepting it against the long-standing traditions that my family has.  There is also the fact that, even if you're not flying, travel can be much more difficult on that particular holiday (and any other major holiday)

[Winterlight]

Except the 4th is not a "major" holiday.  Major is christmas, new years, thanksgiving, easter.  Not sure even new years is major.  And if someone had an annual 4th vacation, I'd understand.  Someone (supposedly close to you) would rather sit in the yard and BBQ, I don't understand.  Call me a bridezilla, I do not care - I've now re-evaluated a couple rel@tionships.

actually, i look on an invitation on a holiday weekend the same way i look on any invitation.  it is certainly my perogative to politely decline, and the reason doesn't matter.  as we say here constantly, an invitation is not a summons.  and actually, i would hope that a polite refusal of an invitation would be respected without demanding a reason so that the host can judge if the reason for refusal is acceptable or not. 

POD.

I have never considered the 4th of July to be anything but a major holiday anywhere inside of US borders.  A lot of people have long-standing traditions that involve a lot more than a backyard barbecue with immediate family.

I would not automatically decline a wedding invitation on that weekend, but I would have to weigh accepting it against the long-standing traditions that my family has.  There is also the fact that, even if you're not flying, travel can be much more difficult on that particular holiday (and any other major holiday)

If I'm taking a vacation, I try to avoid doing it on major holidays because the travel is hellish.

[mulchlady]

I went to a wedding this past weekend on the Saturday before father's day, I thought that it was fine.  HOWEVER we also had an invite to a 50th wedding ann. ON father's day.  as much as we wanted to attend we didn't, couldn't as the kids always plan a beach day for that day!

[Dindrane]

If I'm taking a vacation, I try to avoid doing it on major holidays because the travel is hellish.

That's actually how I define what a major holiday is.  Minor holidays do not cause worse-than-usual travel.  Major holidays do, because people tend to go on vacations or travel to see family/friends.  I didn't even think about going home for Father's day or Mother's day, because a phone call was sufficient.  But my deterrent for going home on major holidays (like the Fourth) is not that I don't think they matter, but that I don't have an unlimited supply of money or vacation time

[Mammavan]

It sounds as if you have already decided against a wedding the day before FD, which I think is a good idea.

FD's weekend would, for me, be the worst of both worlds for a destination wedding.  It would interfer with celebrating the holiday with family, and it's not a three-day weekend, so travel would have to be compressed.

We attended an out-of-state graduation this Saturday, which meant leaving work early on Friday to drive.  Saturday was graduation and dinner following.  Sunday morning was back in the car for another eight-hour drive to get to DD's house so she could celebrate her father's day.  Grueling was the most apt adjective to describe the weekend.

[Aeris]

Good heavens - THAT is our wedding date, and it hadn't even really occurred to me that it was the day before Father's day.... of course in my and DF's families, Father's Day just means a call with an "I love you", so I don't think I would have changed anything.

I think scheduling on a major holiday might be a bit risky, as idgie has seen with her turnout, but it just wouldn't occur to me to avoid a holiday that 1) you don't get a long weekend for and 2) in my experience involves a phone call, or at most a brunch if you happen to be in the same city.

[Asha]

Unless the HC has ulterior motives (with I'm sure OP doesn't!), there is nothing inherently rude about scheduling a wedding on a holiday or over a holiday weekend.  The reality that will have to be faced is that less people might attend.  I think in the case of OP, the two opinions that would matter most (to me, at least) would be those of the fathers of the BTB and GTB.

Everyone invited will have an opinion on this, so many people avoid having weddings on or around holidays.  I actually seriously considered July 4, 2009 for our date, but DF wasn't interested!    

(For what it's worth - the university where I did my undergrad always had gradutation on the Friday/Saturday of Mother's Day weekend.  And even if you weren't graduating, you were most likely moving out of the dorms that Thurs-Saturday.  *shrug*)

[ccnumber4]

mine is july 4.. the day, not the weekend. (friday).

If I were to do this allll over again, i probably wouldn't.  I love the idea, and I think it's going to be a fun wedding, but we're getting a lot of rsvp no's for ppl that I personally would go to their wedding on a MAJOR holiday.  I guess I'm a bit offended that someone is more interested in having a BBQ or going swimming (or golfing) than seeing someone that's supposed to be really close to them get married.  yes, I'm bitter.  (that's another post - former MOH issues).

I think that this is the risk you take when scheduling on a major holiday.  And for many families, the 4th or Memorial Day is THE family vacation of the year, and it's tradition.  I don't think I would move my annual family vacation, unless it was for a sibling.

Except the 4th is not a "major" holiday.   Major is christmas, new years, thanksgiving, easter.  Not sure even new years is major.  And if someone had an annual 4th vacation, I'd understand.  Someone (supposedly close to you) would rather sit in the yard and BBQ, I don't understand.  Call me a bridezilla, I do not care - I've now re-evaluated a couple rel@tionships.

  This is a super important holiday among my friends and family.  I personally think a wedding on that day would be fun, but if I had vacation plans or was otherwise committed, I would hope the HC would understand that is the risk they take when scheduling their event on a holiday.........wether or not they consider it "major". 

[anechka]

Idgie, we're almost wedding date twins Mine's on July 5th.  Yes, our turn out is less than we thought it would be, but we found it was the price of traveling and general economic downturn (this is what our hotel is telling us, too), and not b/c people don't want to come to a wedding so that they can bbq.  Most of our friends are thrilled that they can make a mini vacation for this.  Personally, I had always wanted a smaller wedding, but due to family pressure ended up inviting >200 people.  I'm sad not to see some of my loved ones at the wedding, but thrilled to bits not to have to circulate through a huge crowd on my wedding day.

OP - only you, your DF and your immediate families get to choose the day. Pick what works for you.  And don't open it up for discussion with distant family/friends.  I do recommend STDs if you're getting married on a holiday weekend - it makes it easier for your guests to plan things in advance.

[Squeaks]

I would caution against it.  Keep in mind this will be your anniversary for the rest of your life.  Which means any time you want to have a nice dinner for your anniversary you are likely going to have to battle the father's day crowd for reservations, and my guess would be possible more kids out celebrating.  Not to mention if/when you have your own kids,  your anniversary may get a little lost in the father's day stuff.

[twinkletoes]

I would caution against it.  Keep in mind this will be your anniversary for the rest of your life.  Which means any time you want to have a nice dinner for your anniversary you are likely going to have to battle the father's day crowd for reservations, and my guess would be possible more kids out celebrating.  Not to mention if/when you have your own kids,  your anniversary may get a little lost in the father's day stuff.

Pod.

My mother's good friend was married just a few days after Christmas.  At the time, she thought it was a neat idea, but now that she has a family of her own (and her kids now have families of their own), she realizes how difficult it is for her and her DH to celebrate their anniversary. 

And I'm floored that someone (and I'm assuming this poster is in the US) wouldn't consider the Fourth of July a major holiday.  For many families, it means there are standing plans - 'we always meet at the cottage for the Fourth' or 'Uncle Joe has his annual cookout that day.'