Friendly outing dilemma

[GoldenGemini]

BG: Two of my friends from Uni, B and G, and I go out to dinner once a month on a Friday night (usually) to make sure we all keep in touch now we have graduated.  I usually end up making the reservations and organising the time etc, because they are too busy.

The last month's was going to be my birthday, as I couldn't squish everything into the time allotted.  B said she would be there, very excited, etc and didn't turn up. No note.  G didn't even bother to respond either way.

My friend G just sent me a text asking where and when this month's outing was.

I thought: "How about the 11th of Never? What makes you think I want to spend my Friday night with people who patently don't care anything about me?"

EvilGoldie is very tempted to hit "Send"  , but I think that would be rude

I am going away on holiday in two weeks (to somewhere warm - yay! It is currently 18C/65F here and I am frozen solid), and really can't be bothered with this.

What do the E-hellions think a polite response would be? I don't know that "not possible" will cut it?

BTW, is it a sign I am on here too much - the first thing I thought of was posting my initial thought on here!?

[VorFemme]

"I'm sorry - I won't have TIME to set anything up this month due to work and vacation plans - but feel free to let me know what YOU have set up for next month!"

Snarky and Evil agree that this is TOO polite and doesn't have enough "cold shoulder" in it - but I refuse to let them be rude back.

But all of us agree that letting THEM start to set up their fair share of these events is a chance to let them show how mature they are...............

[petal]

"sorry, since the one i organised on my birthday was ignored i thought we weren't doing the dinners anymore.   If you'd like to organise the next one and let me know that would be great"



it apologetic but very passive aggressive   and it puts the ball in their court

[asta]

Frankly, they don't much sound like friends.  I'd not reply at all.  Standing up a friend on her BD is not only rude, it's a red flag that you're not important.

Enjoy your vacation, don't forget suntan lotion and shades...

[RUstudent]

"sorry, since the one i organised on my birthday was ignored i thought we weren't doing the dinners anymore.   If you'd like to organise the next one and let me know that would be great"



it apologetic but very passive aggressive   and it puts the ball in their court

I agree with this one.

[Shortcake]

"sorry, since the one i organised on my birthday was ignored i thought we weren't doing the dinners anymore.   If you'd like to organise the next one and let me know that would be great"



it apologetic but very passive aggressive   and it puts the ball in their court

I agree with this one.

Me too!

[JenJay]

Oh man does that stink. I'm really sorry. Happy belated birthday!

I think I'd go the honest route with this one and say "After what happened last month I think it would be best if one of you planned this month's dinner. It was really embarrassing and hurtful to be left sitting there alone, on my birthday no less, and I don't care to experience that again. I realize that you're both very busy and I understand if our monthly dinners won't work out anymore. That said, if one or both of you are available and want to plan something I'd be happy to join you. Let me know."

[hannahmollysmom]

I agree with Jen74. Honesty is the best policy. I don't think these "friends" would get it, even if hit with a clue by 4.

[Asha]

POD

Or if you want to avoid a confrontation, how about something like "I won't be able to organize it this month.  If you or B can organize, that would be great."  If they drop the ball, chances are they won't bring up the monthly dinners again.  And if one did, you could just say "Since I didn't hear anything last month, I figured we weren't doing them anymore."

[GoldenGemini]

Oh man does that stink. I'm really sorry. Happy belated birthday!

Thanks. I actually had a fun day, apart from these two!