Long distance marriage?

[MrsMicah]

Congrats!

I knew a few couples in college who were doing this. They wore rings and explained that it was an education-related decision. In one case the woman was a year behind and in another he needed an extra semester for a large major. It was hard for them, but people seemed to accept it. If you're still a young couple, people seem to think a proper education is a good reason for most things.

Like everyone (especially newlyweds), you'll probably have people ask you your share of tactless or painful questions (as well as the fine ones). I've got various short "end of conversation" answers about why we don't have children yet, when we are, etc. One way to turn it off the subject might be to mention what she's studying, how she's almost done (hence no transfer), etc.

[camlan]

When I was in grad school, I knew several couples who were long distance. Mostly recent PhDs who, in order to get teaching jobs, had to accept jobs in different states and hope that in a few years they could get jobs nearer to each other. So your situation would be pretty normal to me.

If there are questions, just tell the truth--she has only one semester to go, you will be joining each other as soon as you can.

[kckgirl]

There is a woman where I work who has lived apart from her husband for years (at least ten). He had gone as far as he could in his career locally and a great opportunity came up in Ohio, several states away. They travel frequently, although I don't know if it's every weekend, and greatly look forward to their time together.

Also in my building is a man who lives 100 miles away. He comes up on Monday morning, stays at his dad's house during the week, and goes home Friday night. He and his wife say it keeps the honeymoon alive.

[Olivia]

For nice people who are just making conversation:
"It's only x months, and it didn't make sense for her to relocate for such a short time.  We do get to talk every day and will see each other in a few weeks."

For rude people with their eyebrows raised:
"This is what works for us." 

[Sirius]

Here it is almost time for your ceremony!  Congratulations! 

Mr. Sirius is retired from the Air Force, and we spent some time apart when he was active duty.  Since most of our friends were either also military or had lived around military people long enough that they understood how it worked, no one gave it a second thought except to ask how Mr. Sirius was doing. 

[utkvolfan]

My parents lived apart for over 15 years. My dad worked in Nashville during the week and would come home (150 miles away) on the weekends. Sometimes mom would drive up and spend the weekend with him in his apartment.

[Sterling]

Congrats!!!!!!

My parents spent a year apart justt recently.  My mother retired for medical reasons and moved here.  My father had one more year before he could retire in home state so he stayed and worked.  They had been married for 40 years by then.  My Mom says it was the best year of marriage ever 

If anyone asks just say this is what works and makes sense for right now and that you look forward to 100 years of togetherness after this is over.

[Cyradis]

Congratulations!

Several people in my grad students dorm had spouses in other cities and even countries. I don't remember any rude or awkward questions asked. I think most people realise that life is messier and complicated far more than neat and simple.

[Clara Bow]

For nice people who are just making conversation:
"It's only x months, and it didn't make sense for her to relocate for such a short time.  We do get to talk every day and will see each other in a few weeks."

For rude people with their eyebrows raised:
"This is what works for us." 

"You know how you hear people say 'I would follow her anywhere'? Well, in this case I did...it's just taking a little longer to get there than planned!"
And many, many congratulations on your wedding. I think it's wonderful!

[Punga]

Congratulations! My partner and I were married three years ago, and we live in Canada so it's nice and legal.

Anyone who would comment should just be ignored.  Who cares?  Unless they're trying to hit on you, in which case you just have to politely ignore and then avoid.

[Germane Jackson]

My DH and I got married in February, but due to financial problems, he is working in another part of the country for the summer. Sure people find it odd, but it's not the first time in our 8-year- relationship that we've lived apart, sometimes in totally different countries. Right now, it is the only way for us to get through this difficult time. And of course we've both had the 'You are a real trusting person, then'. The thought of an affair has never crossed my mind, and I know my DH inside and out and I have never worried once about him cheating on me. He wouldn't have just married me if he thought that living apart would be a struggle in that area. I'm planning on visiting him next month for a few days. It is hard, but it's better than the situation we were in before. Prior to him taking this summer job we were arguing a lot because of our lack of money, it was no way to start off a new marriage.

[Deetee]

You are in grad school?

That is very common in the schools I have been in. More relationships seem to be long distance than not actually.

I've had one person ever tell me that I had a strange marriage (we were apart at the time). It was one of the few times I volunteered where I worked.

Her "That's a strange marriage"

Me (smile!) "Really? It works for us and it's so common at *Very prestigious School" that I find it normal."