Author Topic: I used it...and used it....and used it! (very long)  (Read 35838 times)

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rashea

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Re: I used it...and used it....and used it! (very long)
« Reply #15 on: June 23, 2008, 11:44:31 AM »
I think I would be tempted to tell him that I was thrilled he wasn't attracted to me, because I would never be interested in someone with manners that poor.

I think it may be time to simply tell him to go away.
"Manners change, principles don't. It's about treating people with consideration, respect and honesty." Peter Post

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magiccat26

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Re: I used it...and used it....and used it! (very long)
« Reply #16 on: June 23, 2008, 11:51:41 AM »
magiccat, that last comment? Ewww....just ewwww.

Sorry  ;).  I just cannot imagine why he has targeted you.  I'm reminded of little boys who pull the hair and tease  little girls they like.  I know he's married, but he just comes across (the way you describe him) that way to me.
“If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.” — Catherine Aird

Hurricane Marathon

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Re: I used it...and used it....and used it! (very long)
« Reply #17 on: June 23, 2008, 11:54:40 AM »
I just really wish I could shut him down because one day he's gonna go too far, ya know? Then I'll be on my way to ehell because I told EvilFelica to 'sic'em".

I don't know about anybody else, but I would certainly give EvilFelica a "get out of ehell free card".

Felica, that's just awful.  That guy deserves a verbal smackdown from either you or your DH.  Some of these ehellion replies are excellent ideas....

Stormtreader

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Re: I used it...and used it....and used it! (very long)
« Reply #18 on: June 23, 2008, 11:55:02 AM »
"John-Lisa's hair is naturally curly.
Other person-I know. I told her I wished my hair was curly as hers.
John (looking at me)-she doesn't color it either. (Lisa's hair is brown)"
"Oh, DO tell me all about Lisas hair!"

John-why do you color your hair?
"I bet LISA doesnt colour her hair, right?"

John-You don't?
"Oh, enough about me, tell me all about LISAS hair"

John-People with naturally blonde hair have the same color eyebrows. Yours aren't that color.
"Wow, your right, Lisas eyebrows DO match her hair, perfectly!"
 >:D

Seriously, I lose patience quickly with people like this, you are not there to be used for their entertainment.

Shoo

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Re: I used it...and used it....and used it! (very long)
« Reply #19 on: June 23, 2008, 11:59:37 AM »
Felica, it sounds to me like Lisa has told her dh some prety unflattering things about you.  Specifically, I think she has probably told him that you "think you're better than her" and things like that.  And so he has made it his goal in life to disabuse you of that notion.  The man's a Class A Jerk, that's for sure.  But Lisa is not innocent in this.  She's no friend to you, and I'd bet a million dollars she's the driving force behind his behavior.

You say there's no way to avoid these people, but I think you need to find one.  Even if it involves turning on your heel and walking in the other direction, refusing to sit at the same table, etc. 

I admire your ability to stay cool, though.


Felica

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Re: I used it...and used it....and used it! (very long)
« Reply #20 on: June 23, 2008, 12:02:12 PM »
Shoo, I've wonder about that myself. It is my sneaking suspision but I have no proof, and can think of no reason Lisa would feel this way about me.

And I do avoid them as much as possible but I have no choice right now about the once a month meeting. Other than that, I try to steer clear.

GreenGables

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Re: I used it...and used it....and used it! (very long)
« Reply #21 on: June 23, 2008, 01:07:11 PM »
I've found that this works well with people who consistently try to make other people look and feel foolish. Spectators will only notice the loud person and not the other one, and it turns the tables on the jerk. Here's a bit of sample dialog to illustrate:

John: Lisa is so much prettier, smarter, and more talented than other women.
Felica: Hmm? I didn't catch that.
John (a bit slower): I said, Lisa is so much prettier, smarter, and more talented than other women.
Felica: I'm sorry, John, I think this wind is drowning you out. Could you please repeat that?
John (loud and very slow): I SAID, LISA IS SO MUCH PRETTIER, SMARTER, AND MORE TALENTED THAN OTHER WOMEN.
Felica: Gosh this is embarrassing, but I just can't understand what you're saying. Could you say that just one more time?

At this point, he'll either have to shut up or everyone around will be staring at him. It's easier to do it than it is to explain it, so you'll need to actually do this to see how effective it is. You might also try answering as though he just said something about the weather or his bunions. Add a tolerant, sympathetic smile to finish.

CrayonOutlines

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Re: I used it...and used it....and used it! (very long)
« Reply #22 on: June 23, 2008, 01:37:20 PM »
Also, I think he may be jealous/attracted to you.  After all the man does protest too much.

magiccat, that last comment? Ewww....just ewwww.

Sorry, Felica, but this occurred to me, too, and I'm not one to automatically ascribe behaviors to jealousy.  He's SO focused on you and obviously wants attention from you, whether it's positive or negative.  He's using the ham-handed flirting techniques of an 8 year-old boy.

veryfluffy

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Re: I used it...and used it....and used it! (very long)
« Reply #23 on: June 23, 2008, 01:45:25 PM »
There's a couple more ideas for the persistent offender like this, depending on which you can pull off most convincingly.

1) The blank, slightly bemused stare. The one that says, "I'm not going to dignify that with a response." It helps if you can raise just one eyebrow.

2) The effusive agreement. "Oh, yes, I agree completely! That's what I like too!" "That is so much better than anything I can do!" "That is just absolutely the greatest -- I wish I could be like that!" "I am so lucky my DH manages to put up with me, and doesn't mind HOW I look!"

3) The expression that says, "You are pretending to insult me because you are desperately in love with me and don't want to let on. I understand. Poor little boy."

4) "Your wife is a very lucky woman, to have a guy like you," said with complete and obvious insincerity.
   

CrayonOutlines

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Re: I used it...and used it....and used it! (very long)
« Reply #24 on: June 23, 2008, 01:51:44 PM »
4) "Your wife is a very lucky woman, to have a guy like you," said with complete and obvious insincerity.

True.  Fight fire with fire.  If he tries to call you on your insults, react the same way that he did -- big grin and "Whatever do you mean?"

Kimblee

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Re: I used it...and used it....and used it! (very long)
« Reply #25 on: June 23, 2008, 02:06:14 PM »
My mom has a rule about men like him:

"The ruder the talk, the smaller the...."

well... my mom's been known to be a bit vulgar.

Crazy Chicken Lady

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Re: I used it...and used it....and used it! (very long)
« Reply #26 on: June 23, 2008, 02:15:15 PM »
Just out of curiosity, did Lisa hear his comments to you?  If so, how did she react?  I would be mortified if my DH did that (even if it was complimenting me).
I agree with the others that Lisa may have said something negative about you to her DH.

Felica

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Re: I used it...and used it....and used it! (very long)
« Reply #27 on: June 23, 2008, 02:21:02 PM »
yes, she heard them. She doesn't participate in his rudeness, but smiles at his comment. Because he's complimenting her, I guess.


Visiting Crazy Town

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Re: I used it...and used it....and used it! (very long)
« Reply #28 on: June 23, 2008, 02:24:13 PM »
Felic, it sounds to me like Lisa has told her DH some pretty unflattering things about you.  Specifically, I think she has probably told him that you "think you're better than her" and things like that.  And so he has made it his goal in life to disabuse you of that notion.  The man's a Class A Jerk, that's for sure.  But Lisa is not innocent in this.  She's no friend to you, and I'd bet a million dollars she's the driving force behind his behavior.

You say there's no way to avoid these people, but I think you need to find one.  Even if it involves turning on your heel and walking in the other direction, refusing to sit at the same table, etc. 

I admire your ability to stay cool, though.



ITA

I was thinking the same thing since he targets you and only you i have a feeling that Lisa has a lot to do with especially since she just has a huge grin when he is saying thous things.  Next time i saw him i would make negative comments about him while complementing your DH and see how he likes it 

Shay
« Last Edit: June 23, 2008, 02:27:19 PM by shay »

MerryRaven

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Re: I used it...and used it....and used it! (very long)
« Reply #29 on: June 23, 2008, 02:43:18 PM »
I have another response after "What an interesting assumption".  When he starts bragging about Lisa just say "How very nice for you/her. 

It is a bit rude but considering his behavior, I don't think he would notice. 

I use it only on persistant irritants such as this one.