Friend non-tactfully invited another friend

[girlmusic]

"Hell no, you're wife may wear your pants but she doesn't wear mine and apparently you (Sue's husband) lost your etiquette book too" then hung up on him.

Your husband gets a standing ovation for that one!

[tendereyes]

I apology..I made a grammatically mistake..it should have been your wife...though it seems his wife is everyone's wife.

[willow08]

What is all this "be a good sport" stuff? Does that now translate into "Be quiet while we run over your wishes and feelings like a steamroller?" Are these people usually like this?

Also, why is it so important for you to "get to know Joan" and cuckholded hubby?

[tendereyes]

What is all this "be a good sport" stuff? Does that now translate into "Be quiet while we run over your wishes and feelings like a steamroller?" Are these people usually like this?

Also, why is it so important for you to "get to know Joan" and cuckholded hubby?

To be honest...at this point..I really don't want to know...

However, I think you hit it on the spot with "Be quiet while we run over..."

It's bad enough they can't take no for an answer, or get the message about a party being cancelled and even then being upset...not about the friendship but the party being cancelled, then to keep pushing for us to invite a couple that frankly we don't want to know and are within our rights not to know....then to have the husband call...

I think his wife and her friend are two busybodies so to speak who are use to the world revolving around them, not to mention the way they have reacted tells me they were planning to take advantage of our hospitality.

I think they thought they smelled a goldmine and now are upset they lost it and if they are worry we will have a party without them (which I have a feeling had we done so, they would be upset still so there was no way around it graciously), that tells me they were looking for a free ride...not friendship.

Their reactions are above and beyond "normal reactions" and it's weird they don't want to know my family member and their spouse who are Christians but it's okay for them to push their friend whose not our friend on us...

[gjcva1]

and the hits just keep on coming!  are you sure you want to drop these people from your circle of friends?  just THINK of how many stories you could post about them here!!!! 

[tendereyes]

Lol...this party disaster is enough..

I'm happily to say all we are doing this weekend is a rented movie, popcorn, hubby, myself and the kids...and nothing.

Plus side..nothing to clean up

House will be cleaned for awhile..lol

and no food to be cooked or picked up...

Added: and no more stories or involvement...people who want drama in their lives are not people to be friends with...lesson learned too well.

[hobish]

I have just spent the last 20 minutes of my lunch break reading this thread & all i can say is WOW. Just Wow.

Tendereyes, you should encapsulate that & submit it for the next update.

[tendereyes]

Lol...No thank you...Just looking forward to a quiet weekend and mark the end of this nightmare and actually say a thankful prayer I found out how they really were at the very end.

As I look in retrospect...neither are the type of friends or guests anyone wants to have other than each other.

[Moogle]

Wow! I know this sounds selfish, but this whole thread was very interesting and I was dying to know how it ended.   

Enjoy your quiet weekend with the people you care about the most and kudos for not letting them run you over.

[sammycat]

I too have just finished reading this entire thread, and, wow, it was amazing!  I AM glad that you cancelled the party, but from a selfish point of view I'm sure that had it gone ahead (with Joan) it would have provided some more e-hell worthy stories.  Joan sounds like just a simply DELIGHTFUL person (not!), and as for Sue, well...  Had Sue given any indication of this sort of behaviour before?  And kudos to your husband for he said to Sue's husband.

Re. not being specific on the invitations - which part of Sue, hubby and children, did they think meant Joan, and any other stray they may happen to pick up?

[ZipTheWonder]

If there were ever a cautionary tale party etiquette, this is it.   

Somebody forgot the (lack of) wisdom in discussing a party unless you know everyone present is invited. It is just not done, and this is why.  The only person who should initiate a conversation about a party is the host/hostess, who should do it with extreme discretion about when/where it is done.  And guests should not discuss invitations except to respond in the most vague terms "Yes, I think Tendereyes is having a small get-to-gether later this month." 

Another problem....E-vite 'casualizes' invitations for some people and they can't resisting spreading the love.

[blarg314]

My evil twin is suggesting that the next time you have a party you send Sue a note specifically stating that neither she, her husband, or any of her friends, relatives acquaintences or coworkers are invited.

Or possibly a restraining order, because I could see them showing up at a party that they weren't invited to on the basis that they heard about it, and hey, the more the merrier.

At least you now know that these people are unhinged, and can avoid contact with them in the future.  I'd suggest not answering any more emails and, if you have call display, not answering their phone calls either. They'll just use any excuse to prolong the drama, and not responding is the best way to get it to stop.

[sweedetobee]

I've just spent far too much time reading this thread (I'm at work) and it was very interesting. I'm sorry you had this mess to deal with and I have to tell you that I'm also bad at being put on the spot. It's something to work on (saying "no" when sort of ambushed by someone). And I've never received an invite (whether via paper, email or verbal) that specifically said NOT to invite someone - whoever it addressed to is who is invited, unless there is an additional note somewhere that says "please pass on to anyone I missed" or "please feel free to bring kids, dogs, etc."

I would just not plan any parties or activities for a while and maybe just have dinner some time with each of the couples (that you still like) from the original party.

You definitely need a relaxing weekend!

[Hawkwatcher]

My evil twin is suggesting that the next time you have a party you send Sue a note specifically stating that neither she, her husband, or any of her friends, relatives acquaintences or coworkers are invited.

My evil twin thinks that the OP and some friends (at least twenty or so), could show up at Sue's house uninvited the next time Sue throws a party.  Sue and her husband won't mind because didn't Sue's husband state that attitude "around here is the the more the merrier."  I am sure that a party with twenty uninvited guests could be quite merry.

[tendereyes]

ROFL...Thank you for giving us something to laugh about...ooo...I could hug and kiss all of your evil twins for those merry ideas!! LOL

My evil twin was thinking since apparently the e-vite plus the fact Sue knew what was going on regarding the party for a month wasn't enough, that maybe next time, to help clarify things for her and all connected to her, I should have taken out a full page ad in the newspaper, buy some radio time AND do a guest spot on Oprah so she can understand that only she, her husband and her children were invited.