Unfortunately "damage" was done, but wanted to get some input on how to politely talk to a friend of mine about not doing this again.
Hubby and I decided to have a holiday party for people we directly know and associate with; We sent out the evites and have a pretty well known set number.
My friend whose a very close friend had called me early about Christmas cards, we talked and we hung up, no problem.
She then called me an hour later and basically said, "A friend of mine (hers) heard about the party you were having from someone else you invited and wanted to come and I told her I need to ask you first (), and then goes on this spill how her friend will have her kids (she cheated on her husband with several individuals and they are divorcing which is why we are keeping our distance and do not associate or want to associate with her due to both the soon to be nasty divorce and the cheating which we don't condone), and that she was feeling lonely, etc.
Basically through the whole story, I found out she told her friend, she could come and then tells me to "nudge nudge" be a good sport, to which I felt like directly saying "nudge nudge" that was in poor taste and uncall for because this was OUR house and not her call to be inviting people and then calling me to ask if it was okay although already putting me in a bad spot.
I told her, I'll see about sending her an invitation (via evite) and did so but without the customary greeting and in the invitation made sure it was clearly stated that this will be a COUPLES/Family affair, which was very un-tactful on my part and I regret I let my emotions of feeling, blindsided rule my judgement. Needless to say..she rsvp that she is coming.
My husband is already ticked at my friend and I'm just very very
at being put in a tight spot and plan on trying to find a civil and tactful way of telling her, for the future, there is a reason why we invited certain people to OUR party and it's not her place to be inviting and that it was not appreciate.
Anyway..I could use some ideas how to address my friend in a tactful way that would supercede some of the other scenarios I wouldn't mind doing but know I can't do.