My husband's grandfather passed away this weekend. We were all very close. Everyone, generally, is doing OK, we're glad he's no longer suffering and since this was a lingering illness, we've all done a lot of our greiving. SO, considering the situation, we're doing allright. Not stellar, I still think going home tonight and pouring myself a stiff drink and crying into my blankie is a good idea, but beyond that, we're OK.
But to the etiquette question at hand...
I know that the obituary said "in lieu of flowers, donations can be made to X charity". I gave a very meek 2 cents on why I am not a fan of that wording, but I was outvoted and there is more than enough family drama going around, so I obviously didn't argue, and it appeared as above.
My very kind and generous boss knows the situation, because I've had to take all sorts of time off recently (and will need more again for memorials and the like)...and boss asked today for information re: names/place for services/etc. I"m assuming to send flowers or the like. I simply gave the information for the time and place at the church/funeral home. If boss calls these places, they will state the "in lieu of flowers" bit. If boss simply sends something, it'll go to grandmother after the service, and I think that's OK.
SO, not that I can do anything about it now (except when more people ask, and they may), but what exactly was I supposed to say? should I have said that they prefered donations? (that would have felt awfully grabby, especially since $ wasn't explicitly being offered) I know they don't want a gazillion flowers, and I kow I speak "for the family" in this situation, but...meh.
(I am not stressing over this, what's done is done and honestly, we all have bigger worries right now. I'm just wondering for future reference)