Author Topic: Food Aversions  (Read 6517 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

WestAussieGirl

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 901
Food Aversions
« on: March 10, 2007, 05:13:14 PM »
This has undoubtedly been asked before, but I can't find the relevant posts.  Is it the host's responsibility to ask about a guests food allergies/aversions or does the responsibility lie with the guest to let the host know?  Does it make a difference if the host would reasonably expect to know the preferences of her guests, but those have now changed?

I've been invited to a few lunches/dinners at various friend's homes (these will be casual dinner parties - probably just us and the hosts) over the coming weeks.  I am pregnant so there are many foods that I usually enjoy that are now off-limits for the duration.  One couple have recently had a baby so they would know the foods that are not preggie-friendly, but the others either don't have children or had them many years ago (before current recommendations on diet).  So far, they haven't asked if there is anything I can't eat and I'm not sure if I should say something, or just pick and choose the foods I can eat once I'm there.  I don't want to be rude but I don't want to eat high-risk foods either.

I don't remember what I did when I had my dd, I think I just ate a lot of bread.

Lisbeth

  • I am a rock, I am an island
  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 29353
  • a/k/a KeenReader
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2007, 05:28:40 PM »
I think the host should ask.

What should not be happening:
1) Guests demanding that host provide special foods and then refusing to eat them anyway.
2) Guests bringing their own food that is for them only.
3) Guests making a huge issue of their special needs-it's okay for them to say, "I'm sorry, I can't eat this" but not to expect their hosts to have ESP about their dietary needs or saying, "Gross/yuck/disgusting."
4) Hosts coaxing guests to "try just a little" or playing martyr if the guest declines.
5) Hosts showing their disappointment if guests don't eat what they provide.
I'm away from sanity right now...please leave a message after the beep.
NYC

kherbert05

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 9937
    • Trees downed in my yard by Ike and the clean up
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2007, 07:18:40 PM »
If I'm going to eat somewhere, I inquire about peanut products. When my cousin's got married, they each gave me the number of the food provider and the contact person, after telling the contact person I would be calling. Then I check with them about the peanut thing.

We've had a couple of family dinners out disrupted by ER trips after I was given incorrect information about the use of peanuts. I seem to pick up when someone isn't paying attention or is flat our lying (Hasn't happened since all the publicity about peanut allergies in the last couple of years), so the family always wants me to ask about the food.
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

caranfin

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15629
  • I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #3 on: March 12, 2007, 02:12:02 PM »
I usually say "I'm planning on serving X, would that be okay?" rather than asking specifically about things they can't eat. I don't get into a lot of detail (i.e., I would say "we're grilling steaks" and not "we're having steaks, grilled zucchini, salad, and bread.") If there are children involved, I will be more specific in hopes of picking a vegetable that everybody likes, and will also offer alternatives ("will Bitsy eat a steak, or would she rather have a hot dog?")
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.

Mazdoy

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 954
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #4 on: March 13, 2007, 05:37:49 AM »
As a long time vegetarian I tell people that I don't eat meat (or fish as some people seem to think this is ok for veggies).  All of my friends know I'm veggie so it's not usually an issue.  Sometimes people then ask "What do you eat?" and I say "Everything but mushrooms". 

Just Lori

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4429
  • USA
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #5 on: March 13, 2007, 07:57:20 AM »
I think it's great if the hostess gives the guest a heads up on the menu.  But if that doesn't happen and a guest has a life-threatening allergy, I think he or she should speak up when the invitation is issued.  Hopefully, the host and guest can come up with a mutually acceptable decision, whether it means a different menu, the guest offering to bring in an acceptable alternative for herself or the host making a separate entree for the guest.

Food preferences are different.  I cannot stand mushrooms, but I wouldn't bring this up unless the host asks what I like and don't like on my pizza.  If the host doesn't offer the menu, I'm not going to ask whether mushrooms will be served.

Venus193

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15620
  • Backstage passes are wonderful things!
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #6 on: March 13, 2007, 09:48:11 AM »
I think a host should enquire about allergies or religious dietary requirements if a guest doesn't offer the information off the bat.  As for food aversions, I think that most good friends probably know most of each other's that this should not have to be discussed.

A friend I had fallen out of touch with and reunited with a couple of years ago forgot that I don't like lamb, but I ate two slices cut from the heel.  I will talk about this aversion another time.

Emmy

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3753
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #7 on: March 13, 2007, 09:55:02 AM »
I think it is curteous for a host to ask about guest's food preferences if they do not know what the guest would like, however they cannot read minds if the guest's preferences has changed.  Hosts who haven't been pregnant shouldn't be expected to know what foods are and aren't good for pregnant women.  I would certainly be glad if a guest told me their food preferences ahead of time.  That way the host can make sure there are somethings you can eat.  Also offer to bring a dish you can eat that will serve everybody as well in case there isn't much food you can eat.

When I have guests, I'll usually say, "I was thinking of steak and potatoes, is that OK with you?"  If I know ther person well and their food preferences, I often don't say anything about the menu.  If their preferences change, they should let me know.

Mammavan

  • Guest
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #8 on: March 13, 2007, 12:12:01 PM »
I don't want to take this off-topic, but can you tell me what foods they now tell pregnant women to avoid?  It's been quite a few years since I was pregnant and, while I might have paid for it with excruciating heartburn later, there were no foods that I was told to avoid.  I would like to ensure that I don't serve my pg guests foods they cannot eat but assume people would know about.

kathrynne

  • Guest
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #9 on: March 13, 2007, 12:23:39 PM »
I don't want to take this off-topic, but can you tell me what foods they now tell pregnant women to avoid?  It's been quite a few years since I was pregnant and, while I might have paid for it with excruciating heartburn later, there were no foods that I was told to avoid.  I would like to ensure that I don't serve my pg guests foods they cannot eat but assume people would know about.
I don't know about foods they're told to avoid, but I do know that when my best friend was pregnant her morning sickness was so bad the whole time that she pretty much lived on Frosted Mini Wheats. She just nibbled them the whole day.

Just the smell of many foods magnified her nausea, especially anything with a strong smell like fish or liver.

Poor thing was getting so little sleep I set a policy to last through friends' and relatives' pregnancies, illnesses and children's infancies: I won't call you, because I guarantee that'll be in the middle of that nap you so desperately needed. When you're up to it, you call me and we can catch up. The last thing I want is to contribute to someone's sleep deprivation. Works pretty well, too.

kiero

  • Guest
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #10 on: March 13, 2007, 01:04:10 PM »
In general:  If the host doesn't know the people very well I think she should ask about general aversions.  If someone is allergic (religious objection to a type of food, sickness made worse by a type of food) - they should make sure to say that straight up. 

With pregnant women:  I don't know about you - but the foods I couldn't eat changed almost daily for most of my pregnancy.  Some days I could eat things which would make me throw up the next.  In my circle it is perfectly acceptable to pack a small amount of 'safe' foods to take somewhere.  Then if the food prepared doesn't aggree with you you have something to fall back on.  With me I was often far more sensitive if I was hungry - so I would eat a bit of my food before the meal and then be able to eat some of what I was served.  I would take a little baggie of grapes or a cut up apple and some plain white bread. 

AdakAK

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3481
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #11 on: March 13, 2007, 01:18:19 PM »
I don't want to take this off-topic, but can you tell me what foods they now tell pregnant women to avoid? 

This is what I was told to avoid-
Hot dogs, lunch meat and soft cheeses (listeria)
Raw fish sushi
Peanuts and other tree nuts in the third trimester and if breastfeeding to reduce allergy risks.

Susan

Evil Duckie

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3962
  • This is not the duck you are looking for
    • My dragon scroll
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #12 on: March 13, 2007, 01:56:28 PM »
Ideally the hostess should ask if there are any food issues.  If not then it is up the the guest to let the hostess know about any food issues especially allergies.

NYGirl100

  • Guest
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #13 on: March 13, 2007, 02:39:00 PM »
I don't want to take this off-topic, but can you tell me what foods they now tell pregnant women to avoid? 

This is what I was told to avoid-
Hot dogs, lunch meat and soft cheeses (listeria)
Raw fish sushi
Peanuts and other tree nuts in the third trimester and if breastfeeding to reduce allergy risks.

Susan

I was also told to avoid not just raw fish sushi, but any cooked fish that might contain a high amount of mercury, such as tuna.  As for cheeses, I was told to avoid all non-pasteurized cheese. 


ClaireC79

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3290
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #14 on: March 13, 2007, 02:51:49 PM »
No homemade mayonnaise, no runny yolked eggs (or anything with raw eggs in)
No shark or sword fish
No Soft or blue veined cheeses
Rare/raw meats/fish