Author Topic: Food Aversions  (Read 6973 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Lisbeth

  • I am a rock, I am an island
  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 29353
  • a/k/a KeenReader
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #30 on: March 19, 2007, 01:05:08 PM »
If you were the hostess, and every guest reminded you that they're vegan/eat only free-range/are on Atkins/are allergic/are diabetic/are celiac/are kosher, etc., etc., are you going to prepare a separate dish for each and every one?

If my guest list included all those people I wouldn't try for a sit-down dinner.  I would do a buffet with everything very carefully arranged.

Even at a buffet, hosts really can't control whether or not guests eat anything provided, because in a situation like this, I'm sure there will be at least one guest who feels that they can't eat at least something no matter how hard the host tries to be prepared for them.

I just think it's a situation where hosts need to keep whatever disappointment or guilt they feel that their guests aren't eating anything to themselves.
I'm away from sanity right now...please leave a message after the beep.
NYC

Venus193

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15840
  • Backstage passes are wonderful things!
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #31 on: March 19, 2007, 01:10:26 PM »
You can't please everyone all of the time.  We all just have to suck up to that.

twinkletoes

  • Guest
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #32 on: March 19, 2007, 02:33:16 PM »
If you were the hostess, and every guest reminded you that they're vegan/eat only free-range/are on Atkins/are allergic/are diabetic/are celiac/are kosher, etc., etc., are you going to prepare a separate dish for each and every one?

If my guest list included all those people I wouldn't try for a sit-down dinner.  I would do a buffet with everything very carefully arranged.

I think that's what I would do, too - or I'd suggest we all go out to a particular restaurant instead!

But seriously - what sort of menu could a host/ess use when everyone they're inviting has some sort of dietary restriction (and it can range from religious restrictions, to personal restrictions, dietary, and even "I don't like X")?  I think I could see serving everyone Mexican food - you can make tacos with or without meat, and people can take what they want.

ETA:  Of course, pretty much everything should be labeled so no one thinks "hm, these tomatoes look odd" - only to find out they're hot peppers...
« Last Edit: March 19, 2007, 02:36:41 PM by twinkletoes »

caranfin

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15629
  • I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #33 on: March 19, 2007, 02:52:44 PM »
In the picky, picky world of etiquette, one should eat what one can among the dishes that are served.

If the hostess asks everyone their preferences (or what is allowable), what would she serve?

Not that I'm not sympathetic to your plight, that's just what Miss Manners says.

Except, supposing the hostess has gone to a TREMENDOUS amount of work, making baked ham, steak, chicken, pork-fried rice, and vegetables cooked in lard?  Would I be rude if I just didn't touch ANYTHING?  Or, would it be ruder to mention in advance that I'm a vegetarian even if I wasn't asked? 

If I were the hostess, I would be horrified to discover I had invited you to a meal where you couldn't eat a single thing (or only a couple of side dishes). I'd prefer that you remind me you're a vegetarian.

If you were the hostess, and every guest reminded you that they're vegan/eat only free-range/are on Atkins/are allergic/are diabetic/are celiac/are kosher, etc., etc., are you going to prepare a separate dish for each and every one?

If I couldn't figure out one dish that would work for all of those people, I simply wouldn't invite them to the same dinner. We'd socialize at a restaurant. Quite honestly, anyone who eats only free-range food isn't ever going to eat at my house anyway.  ;D
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.

Lisbeth

  • I am a rock, I am an island
  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 29353
  • a/k/a KeenReader
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #34 on: March 19, 2007, 03:00:52 PM »
Well, I think the way I would do it myself would be to have one or two soups, one poultry dish, one beef dish, one fish dish, and one vegan dish for entrees with salad and a variety of drinks (some alcoholic, some non) and desserts (some sugar, some sugar-free)-all kosher.

That way there's something for just about everyone.

But if someone still feels they can't eat, I won't lose sleep over it.  I tried.
I'm away from sanity right now...please leave a message after the beep.
NYC

becurless

  • Guest
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #35 on: March 19, 2007, 06:32:24 PM »
I didn't know you couldn't eat nuts in the last trimester. Heck my OB told me I SHOULD because it was protein. Oh well.

ANYWAYS....I had my gallbladder out so I can't have anything with much fat in it yet, so whenever I go to someone's home for a dinner party I usually munch on a salad and eat lots of veggies and cut my meat portion in half. I'm also diabetic, so I just mention that when they invite us. Usually it's not an issue, and I don't HAVE to have dessert. Not to mention I'm allergic to shellfish. I usually say "Oh my this smells delicious!!!! How did you make it? What's in it???" And that's my clue to there being anything in it I can't have and I let it go at that.

I usually ask any dinner guests if they are allergic or just plain old don't like something. Then I plan accordingly. Hope that helps!!! And have fun being preggers!!!!

supernova

  • thanks for all the fish
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2300
  • dancing alone
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #36 on: March 19, 2007, 11:03:00 PM »
Adaptability and flexibility are key.  I worked as a cook in a household where everyone had different allergies/intolerances:  one couldn't eat onions or bell peppers; one couldn't eat beef and shouldn't have refined sugar; one was lactose-intolerant and trying to kick carbs; one can't digest pork or iceberg lettuce.  And that's not getting into the likes/dislikes!

I still managed to come up with excellent menus and kept everyone well fed; even when Lactose's parents (who did the faux kosher thing:  no pork or shellfish, no combining meat and dairy; but no concerns about separate dishes) came to visit.

It's just a matter of reducing down to the common denominators and working with them; and separating out ingredients so some can add them on their own (think salad bar, or build-your-own burrito buffets--and be extra sure to avoid cross-contamination!). 

     - saphie

Ferrets

  • "Rugby referees are like bees. They communicate through interpretative dance movements."
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2843
  • Dych chi'n moyn dishgled?
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #37 on: March 20, 2007, 09:46:09 AM »
Quite honestly, anyone who eats only free-range food isn't ever going to eat at my house anyway.  ;D

WAAAAAAAAAAAH! :'( I'm not WEEEEEEEEEEELCOME!

Couldn't you just do me a nice cheese omelette? Pleeeeeeeeease??? :-\

:-* You know I'm only kidding, caranfin ;)

(As I've probably mentioned umpteen times before, this is the reason I just say "vegetarian" when I'm asked about dietary restrictions. Far cheaper, easier and less demanding of the host all round!)

caranfin

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15629
  • I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #38 on: March 20, 2007, 10:22:17 AM »
Quite honestly, anyone who eats only free-range food isn't ever going to eat at my house anyway.  ;D

WAAAAAAAAAAAH! :'( I'm not WEEEEEEEEEEELCOME!

Couldn't you just do me a nice cheese omelette? Pleeeeeeeeease??? :-\

:-* You know I'm only kidding, caranfin ;)

(As I've probably mentioned umpteen times before, this is the reason I just say "vegetarian" when I'm asked about dietary restrictions. Far cheaper, easier and less demanding of the host all round!)
That's perfect. I'll make you a nice lasaga made with free-range ricotta.  ;)

(Not that I have anything at all against people who prefer free-range meat... it's just not convenient where I live.)
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.

Ferrets

  • "Rugby referees are like bees. They communicate through interpretative dance movements."
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2843
  • Dych chi'n moyn dishgled?
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #39 on: March 20, 2007, 11:17:25 AM »
(Not that I have anything at all against people who prefer free-range meat... it's just not convenient where I live.)

Darn. I was all ready to work myself up for a big long vent about your discriminatory dietary policies leading to the exclusion of such paragons of nutritional virtue such as myself. >:D

I'll be round for that lasagne tomorrow. (Along with my 6 fruitarian friends!) ;)

caranfin

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15629
  • I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #40 on: March 20, 2007, 11:35:08 AM »
(Not that I have anything at all against people who prefer free-range meat... it's just not convenient where I live.)

Darn. I was all ready to work myself up for a big long vent about your discriminatory dietary policies leading to the exclusion of such paragons of nutritional virtue such as myself. >:D

I'll be round for that lasagne tomorrow. (Along with my 6 fruitarian friends!) ;)

It just occured to me that I could stroll around the neighborhood and make a collection of free-range cats...  ;) That won't help your friends, though. Do you suppose they'd like diced peach lasagna?
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.

tabigarasu

  • Guest
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #41 on: March 20, 2007, 01:20:06 PM »
If you were the hostess, and every guest reminded you that they're vegan/eat only free-range/are on Atkins/are allergic/are diabetic/are celiac/are kosher, etc., etc., are you going to prepare a separate dish for each and every one?

I would and I have.   The most effort I have gone to for a party was one where I had invited
- one friend who had celiac disease
- one friend who keeps kosher
- three friends who are vegan
- one friend who is allergic to all members of the nightshade family (eggplant, tomato, potato) and peppers
- one friend who is allergic to all tree nuts



Obviously each hostess is going to have a different level of willingness to go out of her way for her guests, and guests should exercise some common sense in offering information to the hostess about what they cannot or will not eat.  If it's an intimate dinner party with only two couples, the guest should definitely mention restrictions. If it's a big buffet with twenty guests, they might only want to mention restrictions once the party starts, in the context of "Does this dish have an ingredient that will make me sick?"

Twik

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 28339
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #42 on: March 20, 2007, 01:52:27 PM »
Well, I think the way I would do it myself would be to have one or two soups, one poultry dish, one beef dish, one fish dish, and one vegan dish for entrees with salad and a variety of drinks (some alcoholic, some non) and desserts (some sugar, some sugar-free)-all kosher.

That way there's something for just about everyone.

But if someone still feels they can't eat, I won't lose sleep over it.  I tried.

OK, so, you'd have at least 3 appetizers, 4 entrees, and multiple desserts for ONE dinner party? That's not a host, that's a short-order cook. I couldn't even begin to heat all those things up at one time in my kitchen.

I will make accommodations for significant health issues (not wanting to actually KILL my guests), but from that point on, they're on a priority rating system that includes cost, whether I have any recipes that will suit, ease of preparation and yes, whether I think they're being daft ("Please, don't serve anything curried since we're opposed to the Indian government's position on women's issues"). People with religious/philosophical restrictions on their food intake who wish to attend parties at short notice should be prepared to go with sparser fare, or bring their own contributions. It's part of the sacrifice of taking a moral position.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

twinkletoes

  • Guest
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #43 on: March 20, 2007, 02:02:21 PM »
Well, I think the way I would do it myself would be to have one or two soups, one poultry dish, one beef dish, one fish dish, and one vegan dish for entrees with salad and a variety of drinks (some alcoholic, some non) and desserts (some sugar, some sugar-free)-all kosher.

That way there's something for just about everyone.

But if someone still feels they can't eat, I won't lose sleep over it.  I tried.

OK, so, you'd have at least 3 appetizers, 4 entrees, and multiple desserts for ONE dinner party? That's not a host, that's a short-order cook. I couldn't even begin to heat all those things up at one time in my kitchen.

I will make accommodations for significant health issues (not wanting to actually KILL my guests), but from that point on, they're on a priority rating system that includes cost, whether I have any recipes that will suit, ease of preparation and yes, whether I think they're being daft ("Please, don't serve anything curried since we're opposed to the Indian government's position on women's issues"). People with religious/philosophical restrictions on their food intake who wish to attend parties at short notice should be prepared to go with sparser fare, or bring their own contributions. It's part of the sacrifice of taking a moral position.

I agree.  There's being a good host/ess, and then there's outright insanity. 

One more thing - if one has a dietary restriction, it would behoove one to contact the host/ess and give them a heads up with regard to what foods aren't going to work for you.  Two diabetics, for example, might not have the same dietary restrictions; a vegetarian might not be ok with eating fish; and someone who requires gluten-free food might want to detail what, exactly, that means.  In other words, if a host asks one if there are any dietary restrictions, don't just respond with "I'm a diabetic/vegetarian" and hang up - you can't really be surprised if they serve you a fish meal because "well, you said you were vegetarian!"

Lisbeth

  • I am a rock, I am an island
  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 29353
  • a/k/a KeenReader
Re: Food Aversions
« Reply #44 on: March 20, 2007, 02:16:08 PM »
I would do this for a large dinner party with, say, 10 people minimum.

For a smaller party, I'd limit it to whatever is there.  And I certainly don't expect everyone to partake of everything.

But no, I'm not going to inquire if the meat is free-range, for example.
I'm away from sanity right now...please leave a message after the beep.
NYC