You're living in a fairy world...

[vandalfan]

I'm glad red1979 explained her source of information, because otherwise I'd think she was: living in a fairy world! Good luck on the thesis!

[Rockie]

There is a different version of the Little mermaid movie that's closer to the original story.  It's kind of anime style.

As for the comments I think you were fine. 

Yep, I have a copy of that one (I think you're talking about this one). I would watch it as a kid, and it was so tragic.

And it is indeed sad that wanting to be stable is looked upon as a sign of having your head in the clouds. Because, you know, there's no such thing as bills, buying food, rent/mortgages, or any of that silly stuff... 

I went with my parents to their homeland recently (where a lot of my family is), and my relatives there asked me repeatedly if I had a boyfriend. When I said no*, they were incredulous, asked me, "Why not?", and said I needed to hurry up and find one and start thinking about getting married. Of course, the fact that I like children and thus kept being nominated as the unofficial babysitter didn't help. Meanwhile, my mother still thinks I'm too young to date. Mind, I'm 22. Guess I just can't win. 

Yes, I would like to have kids one day, but I'm nowhere near ready right now. Plus, the thought of something growing and moving inside me is unsettling for me.

*I actually do, but my parents disapprove because he's a different race (to the point where they told me I had to break up with him or they'd pull me out of college), so I have to keep it on the down low...it's a long story. >_<

[CG]

Meanwhile, my mother still thinks I'm too young to date. Mind, I'm 22. Guess I just can't win. 

Daddy says I can't date until I'm 34. 

[MurPl1]

Fairy tales for the most part are pretty ghastly.  And depending on which country of origin, incredibly violent.  I believe the Italian version of sleeping beauty involves rape...

I didn't realise it was particular to the Italian version, she wakes up when the baby(ies) are born in one that I remember

I think that one is called "Sun, Moon and Talia" it is from an Italian fairy-tale book by Giambattista Basile from the beginning of the seventeenth century.  It's amazing how many of these stories are so incredibly similar across different cultures and time periods.

(My critical thesis for my writing degree focused heavily on fairy tales, so i have a wealth of obscure knowledge on the subject ;-)

Vaguely remembering some reading on Carl Jung from HS.  Would that fall under the whole universal archetype thing and the collective subconsious?  Something to do with the reason we all have things like "giant" myths is that it's wired in our brains that way?

[Red1979]

Fairy tales for the most part are pretty ghastly.  And depending on which country of origin, incredibly violent.  I believe the Italian version of sleeping beauty involves rape...

I didn't realise it was particular to the Italian version, she wakes up when the baby(ies) are born in one that I remember

I think that one is called "Sun, Moon and Talia" it is from an Italian fairy-tale book by Giambattista Basile from the beginning of the seventeenth century.  It's amazing how many of these stories are so incredibly similar across different cultures and time periods.

(My critical thesis for my writing degree focused heavily on fairy tales, so i have a wealth of obscure knowledge on the subject ;-)

Vaguely remembering some reading on Carl Jung from HS.  Would that fall under the whole universal archetype thing and the collective subconsious?  Something to do with the reason we all have things like "giant" myths is that it's wired in our brains that way?

I didn't really focus on any Jung so I'm not familiar with his theories.  This was a creative writing thesis so I didn't lean tol heavily on psychology theory.  I did read some Bettelhiem (who relies heavily on Freud) and I just didn't agree or find much basis for a lot of his ideas and didn't end up using that as a source.

There are many theories about the basis of fairy tales and why they are psychologically appealing to us.  In my readings, it seemed that the absolutes of good and evil, wrong and right appealed to young children because they were concepts very easy for them to grasp (as children tend to think very literally).  There is a lot more to it than that of course, but that seemed to be the starting point from which all the other trains of thought sprung.  The book I found the most helpful was called "Once Upon a Time On the Nature of Fairy Tales" by Max Luthi.  The text was translated from German and was really fascinating--even for someone not doing a thesis on fairy tales ;-)

[MurPl1]

Thanks.  I'll look that up.  I'm always up for an interesting read.

[goblue2539]

Fairy tales for the most part are pretty ghastly.  And depending on which country of origin, incredibly violent.  I believe the Italian version of sleeping beauty involves rape...

I didn't realise it was particular to the Italian version, she wakes up when the baby(ies) are born in one that I remember

I think that one is called "Sun, Moon and Talia" it is from an Italian fairy-tale book by Giambattista Basile from the beginning of the seventeenth century.  It's amazing how many of these stories are so incredibly similar across different cultures and time periods.

(My critical thesis for my writing degree focused heavily on fairy tales, so i have a wealth of obscure knowledge on the subject ;-)

Vaguely remembering some reading on Carl Jung from HS.  Would that fall under the whole universal archetype thing and the collective subconsious?  Something to do with the reason we all have things like "giant" myths is that it's wired in our brains that way?

Psych major, not big into Jung, but yes.  Fairy tales nearly always fall into his type of analysis.  As I said, I'm not a huge fan, so I can see why it wouldn't help a creative writing project much, but he talks about how each of us wants to be ... pretty much everything. The hero, the damsel, the villian, etc. 

[Sleepingmediocre]

I think that one is called "Sun, Moon and Talia" it is from an Italian fairy-tale book by Giambattista Basile from the beginning of the seventeenth century.  It's amazing how many of these stories are so incredibly similar across different cultures and time periods.

(My critical thesis for my writing degree focused heavily on fairy tales, so i have a wealth of obscure knowledge on the subject ;-)

<------has just met her new hero 

I took a folklore and fairy tales class in college (in fact, it was in that class I wrote the modern take on a fairy tale that gave me my username here!), and LOVED it.  Our professor actually had a degree in folklore, and if I ever find the time and money I intend to get one myself. 

[TootsNYC]

The ladies on the bus did have one sensible point: You can *think* you have a stable and established life, and it can all blow up on you.

You can *intend* to wait to have kids, but if you're having sex, you may have kids sooner than you wanted.

And there IS a sensible point behind the "don't wait until you 'think you can afford it,' bcs you may give up some great times waiting for something in the future."

But there can be a huge chasm between people in terms of their basic assumptions.

I think our OP did right to just bow out of the conversation. No sense trying to make a point w/ someone whose frame of reference is so vastly different from yours. What's that saying about teaching a pig to dance?

[Emmy]

While it's often true that our best laid plans go awry, I still don't the women had a point about the OP 'living in a fairy world'.  Nobody goes into a marriage expecting divorce or wants to be broke all their lives, but the truth is some people plan better than others.  For example, some women will marry a guy despite several red flags while other will just convince themselves that he is Mr. Right despite the red flags.  Some women will save money for a marriage and a child while other will just have a child without thinking about the financial aspect.  Chances are the woman who married convinced themselves that the guy with the red flags was Mr. Right and the ones who didn't save the money will be more likely to have marriage and money problems down the road. 

However, whether the OP is right or not is not the point.  It is rude to tell somebody else "they are living in a fairy world" if their life view doesn't fit with yours.  The OP did the best thing by refraining conversation with these women instead of succumbing to the temptation of telling them the faults she finds with their views on this subject.  It is politer to say "let's agree to disagree" when sensitive subjects such as politics, religion, or child having/rearing come up instead of putting down the other person's view.

[KCee]

I'd like to add that I refrained from making any "snarky" comments about failed/lack of birth control...

I can't even imagine what you mean by this? At least one of the women said she had been married, not that she was irresponsible. I don't agree with them trying to make you feel bad about the future, but I'm not sure why a "snarky" comment about birth control would even cross your mind?