This one is from my bus ride today.
Background: The buses I ride have two levels. The section from the front of the bus to the back doors is at one level, and just past the back doors there are a few stairs up to the back section of the bus. Generally, the middle seats at the very back are the last to fill up, and people standing tend to pool in the front section without thinking to climb the stairs and stand in the back section unless prompted.
Today, I got on the bus and saw no seats available, so I ended up standing near the rear doors. There was one young guy standing directly in front of the stairs and an older guy next to him in front of the rear doors. The older guy reminded me of Morgan Freeman. After a few stops, the front section was getting quite crowded with people standing. That's when the older guy piped up and calmly drawled "There's room in the back of the bus. A few seats, too. Some [female dogs] just too afraid to go up there." The young guy glanced behind him, realized this was true, and headed into the back, followed by me and a few others. Meanwhile, the older guy continued, in the direction of the younger guy, "No need to stand here looking at my
ugly face. You should have been up there already. You coward."
Not an appropriate way to address a bus full of strangers, but seriously, picture that little monologue coming out of Morgan Freeman and tell me it isn't funny.
Also, everyone on the bus just kind of shuffled into a new arrangement without batting an eye, as if this "announcement" was a totally normal reminder that more space was available.