Jim now waits until Jane is half-asleep, then rubs up against her while moaning/whimpering ("like a puppy" was the phrase Jane used). Ew.
Jim has also developed the habit of (again, using the phrase she used) "suckling" on her shoulder while he's asleep. Double Ew.
Last night, he did the "moan-and-grope" technique, and she snapped at him. She said some things she called "regrettable" -- she didn't tell me what -- implying that her DH was behaving like their baby. He started to cry, and Jane said something like, "Do you see what I mean?" (I did tell her that she was being hurtful.)
Hurtful or not, he is behaving like their baby- whimpering, crying, and sucking on parts of her body? Honestly, how does he expect her to respond? Oh, yes, honey, take me now? And why is he waiting until she's half-asleep to do these things? honestly, it sounds like he has some unconscious problems with the fact that she's spending so much time taking care of the baby and he's somehow trying to get the same attention.
She needs to wait until the baby is asleep and they are not in bed to sit down and talk about this. Something like, "I know Scrabble hasn't been the same since the baby was born. Part of that is me and me being so tired all the time. And another part of it is you and the way that you are approaching me when you want to have Scrabble. I don't like it when you wait until I'm almost asleep and whimper and cry like a puppy. I don't like it when you suck on my shoulder. These things do not turn me on. When you flirt with me, tell me how much you want me, kiss me, treat me like your wife instead of a mother, THAT turns me on."
Not to give you TMI, but DH somehow managed to make me feel like a Scrabble tournament about two weeks after my DD was born, simply by snuggling up with me while DD was napping, rubbing my back, kissing my neck, telling me how proud he was of me, how much he loved me, what a great job I was doing as a mother. By the time he was done, I was ready to play Scrabble all night long. Of course, my game pieces were not available at the time, but we made some creative substitutions to play. But it was the beginning of what DH calls the "scrabble revolution" in our rel@tionship because frankly, after he saw me give birth, I figured there was nothing I could do with my body that would be embarrassing after that. I let go of a lot of my shyness and ... well, we now consider ourselves Scrabble champions.
