Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Must I Accommadate? How Much?

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NOVA Lady:
OK so here is the short story. We have invited several people for dinner on Wednesday evening. Invited are a couple and a single male friend. Today single male friend decided to take me up on my offer to "invite a date if you'd like" and let me know via email that he has decided to bring a girl he has recently started seeing. This is not the problem. The issue is...she is a vegan. The menu I planned:

Surf and Turf (Steak and stuffed shrimp)- she can't eat it.
Ceasar Salad- She cannot eat
Home made biscuit rolls- She cannot eat it
Beef Carpaccio (appetizer)- she cannot eat it
A mini tier cake- She cannot eat

is not vegan at all. What do I do?????

:) I don't really want to change my menu....should I make her a side dish and main dish of her own? I am serving it as a plated diner so I am unsure.

duhrich:
Boy, that is a really hard one. The salad - well I guess you could hold out some of the greens and find a salad dressing she can eat. What is it about the biscuits and cake she can't eat? (sorry - I don't know the ins and outs of vegan eating/cooking). I think you are kind of stuck since you told him he could invite a guest. Maybe there is a restaurant in town at which you could pick up a vegan entree to serve her (just plate it with the rest)..  For dessert, you could serve her some cut up fruit in a nice bowl/plate with mint sprigs or something.  Hope this helps.

sparksals:
I think you should email the guy and tell him that the meal you planned is not vegan friendly.  You would love to be able to entertain her at some point, but you are unable to change your menu at this time. 

It is rude for someone to expect accommodations in this type of situation.  You don't know her and I think the guy you invited is clueless as to the menu nightmare this can cause for you.

BTW, the menu sounds fab!

sammycat:
That menu sounds yummy!!!  Can I come too?!  If there are any leftovers send them my way...

Personally I wouldn't go creating a new menu, as you have plenty of people who are perfectly capable of eating it.  Maybe make some of the salad vegan (is this even possible? - I have no idea what vegans can eat), and perhaps an extra dessert, either a single serving for her, or let the guests have a choice of 2.  As for the main meal, if may just be easier to get a single serving of something from a shop.

The other option is just to let your friend know that the menu is not vegan friendly (and why would it have been if no other vegans were coming up until this point), and let him tell his friend so that she can then make a decision as to whether she still wants to come.  She may volunteer to bring a dish or her own meal.  Either way, I certainly wouldn't go changing an entire menu just for the sake of one person (life threatening allergies excepted).

MadMadge43:
The poor clueless guy that has no clue as to what goes into a dinner party and finds nothing wrong with inviting a vegan at the last minute will never understand why this is putting you out.

What I would do, if you really want to help this guy out is, stir fry some vegetables in olive oil while you're finishing the rest of the meal and have some fruit for her for desert.

I might, if I was feeling really generous put some crackers out for the appetizer for her too. She's probably used to dealing with her restrictions, so I'm sure she's not expecting a full on vegan meal at the last moment and will just be appreciative that you went the extra mile for her.

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