Author Topic: I'm forgetful, not pregnant.  (Read 4809 times)

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FunkyMunky

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I'm forgetful, not pregnant.
« on: August 23, 2008, 12:27:36 AM »

Ok, so there's a sale on baby stuff at local department store. I go to look for presents for Lil Niece or Nephew (if I think of it as being for Sis, I'll buy less). I wind up with about $50 worth of really cute (and useful) stuff in my carry basket. It gets put through at the service desk (big lines, they waved me through). Since there is no basket-return area at the service desk, I circle to the entrance to put it back where I found it. I thought it was right near the security gate, but, well, it wasn't. I finally realised it was a little further in the store than I remembered.

Naturally, I looked pretty dumb, as I'd been looking around vaguely for something about 2m further up. The woman doing bag checks on the gate smiles at me. I say something along the lines of, 'I could have sworn it was further down!" with an aren't-I-dense grin. She responds, "we call that pregnancy, dear." I sort of half-laughed then exited quickly. I know it was probably a fair assumption, because I was buying baby things, but I'm 176cm tall and weigh about 65kg (er...approx 5 foot 8, 143 pounds) so giving me a BMI of 21. Not fat. I spent the whole day wondering if it was the purchases (which she may not have seen..it was an opaque bag), the fact that there were a lot of mums in the store, that I was dense, or if I looked fat.

She meant well, so i didn't say anything, but I was a bit shocked by it. I wouldn't even say that to an obviously pregnant woman, but to one who's obviously not?

atirial

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Re: I'm forgetful, not pregnant.
« Reply #1 on: August 23, 2008, 03:25:13 AM »
It sounds as though she meant well and made a poor assumption. I am a little surprised someone would say that to a stranger though. I thought the standard rule was not to say anything to a lady indicating you thought she might be pregnant unless she had specifically said something about it to you first.

KimberlyM

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Re: I'm forgetful, not pregnant.
« Reply #2 on: September 17, 2008, 03:45:39 PM »
Wow...what an interesting assumption, indeed! 

I am very obviously pregnant (or have recently swallowed a basketball whole) and still people occasionally ask, very timidly, if I am expecting.  Most people know better than to assume a woman is pregnant, no matter how she looks!

One Goat to Rule Them All

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Re: I'm forgetful, not pregnant.
« Reply #3 on: September 17, 2008, 03:49:44 PM »
Quote
I'm forgetful, not pregnant

Well, being forgetful and lead to being pregnant  >:D

audhs

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Re: I'm forgetful, not pregnant.
« Reply #4 on: September 17, 2008, 06:10:35 PM »
Wow...what an interesting assumption, indeed! 

I am very obviously pregnant (or have recently swallowed a basketball whole) and still people occasionally ask, very timidly, if I am expecting.  Most people know better than to assume a woman is pregnant, no matter how she looks!

I had to take my older dd to a urgent care clinic when I was 8 months along with #2.  We were there about 5 hours sometime around hour 4 the nurse and I were talking and I made a comment about pregnancy.  She said she was pretty sure I was pregnant but that she never ever says anything because when she was a new nurse she asked when the mother of one of her patiences was due and the lady answered that she hadn't lost the baby weight from her last pregnancy.  Nurse asked oh how old is you little one and the woman pointed to the kid in the bed.  He was about 12.   She said never again was she going there no matter how obvious it looked.

And as to weather it was apparent or not that I was pregnant I carried #2 all in front and looked like I swallowed a beach ball.   (If I had a quarter for the amount of people who commented on it I'd have a nice little nest egg)

MrsO

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Re: I'm forgetful, not pregnant.
« Reply #5 on: September 17, 2008, 06:25:35 PM »
It sounds to me like she was just assuming you were pregnant because you were buying baby stuff. I didn't start showing with DD1 until I was about 6 months along, and I'd already bought alot of stuff by then.
Plus, most people do get a 'brain fog' when they're pregnant. I know I did.  :)

RedRuby

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Re: I'm forgetful, not pregnant.
« Reply #6 on: September 17, 2008, 06:49:13 PM »
I think it's rather bold to assume someone's pregnant unless you've been given ample evidence that that's the case. I bet her intentions were good, but I would have been taken aback by that as well!

FunkyMunky

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Re: I'm forgetful, not pregnant.
« Reply #7 on: September 19, 2008, 02:32:52 AM »

I think I must just be throwing off a vibe. I was accused of being pregnant again! This time in a less polite way.

I was browsing in a bridal shop (I'm trying on lots of different styles etc. to see what suits me), and the saleslady is talking to me. She asks how old I am (23), and how old is DF (32).
"Oh well, at least he's doing the right thing."
"Pardon?"
"Marrying you before the baby comes!"
*open mouth cannot-believe-you-just-said-that look* "I'm not pregnant."
"Oh? Sorry dear, just assumed, you know, with the age difference and all.."

I made some comment about us being very happy, and left. No-one seems to think that I look pregnant (or won't tell me when I ask), but people keep making this assumption! Why?


MrsO

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Re: I'm forgetful, not pregnant.
« Reply #8 on: September 19, 2008, 03:16:30 AM »
 :o
Now that's just ruuuuude!
The other situation, I can see why she would just assume...but because there's an age difference? What?!

Firecat

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Re: I'm forgetful, not pregnant.
« Reply #9 on: September 19, 2008, 12:43:52 PM »
Wow - can't imagine what she would have thought of me and my DH, as my DH is 13 years older than me. And we're happily child-free, and had discussed and established that long before discussing marriage.

I would have been seriously taken aback - promptly followed by furious - too.

RedRuby

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Re: I'm forgetful, not pregnant.
« Reply #10 on: September 19, 2008, 01:31:47 PM »
That is so rude! Even if it was a shotgun wedding, it's not her place to comment. Wow. I'm glad you left the store.

FunkyMunky

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Re: I'm forgetful, not pregnant.
« Reply #11 on: September 20, 2008, 12:44:57 AM »
That is so rude! Even if it was a shotgun wedding, it's not her place to comment. Wow. I'm glad you left the store.

We're think about a date three years away. That would be a looooong gestation.