Wording the no host "invitation"

[Chocolate Cake]

I'm coordinating a no host event at a local restaurant.  I want to make sure that all invitees understand that, if they choose to attend, they will pay for their own expenses (i.e. dinner/beverage). 

I thought I'd put on the invitation/notice something to this effect:

This is a "no host" occasion.   For your consideration and budget planning, please see the attached menu.  If you have any questions, please let me know.


What do you think?

[sparksals]

Would everyone in your circle understand what "no host occasion" means?  Do your outtings typically involve going Dutch?  What type of event is it? Bachelorette party?  Retirement party?  Birthday celebration for family?

I think your example sounds a bit formal and cold. 

[jais]

I think your example sounds a bit formal and cold. 

I believe this is just a PORTION of the invitation, not the invitation in it's entirety. 
However, I do agree that until this site, I wouldn't no what a "no host occasion" meant.  Though I really can't think of a better way to word it......

[Chocolate Cake]

It is for a dinner in honor of a soon-to-be Mommy (for the fourth time).   Because of the circumstances, it isn't a shower.  I have no idea if most of the group would know what "no host" means.  

I think your example sounds a bit formal and cold.  

Any alternative wording suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

I believe this is just a PORTION of the invitation, not the invitation in it's entirety. 

Correct.  The statement about "no host" would follow all the what/when/where information. 

[jais]

I'm sorry dear, I'm stumped as to how to word it so that everyone understands.  I just didn't think it sounded cold and formal when part of something else.  I'll see if I can solicit suggestions from coworkers. 

[sparksals]

Sorry CC - hope I didn't offend you when I said it sounded informal and cold.  I couldn't think of other words to describe it.  

Definitely include the menu and then to give the hint that everyone must pay for themselves, you could state something like a budget friendly restaurant was chosen to be easy on everyone's pocketbook, or something to that effect.  

Personally, if I received an invitation celebrating a mom2be for the 4th time, I wouldn't even presume that the hostess was paying.  I would automatically assume it was dutch.  But that's my circle of friends, although I would offer to contribute or even pay for the mom's meal.  

[twinkletoes]

It is for a dinner in honor of a soon-to-be Mommy (for the fourth time).   Because of the circumstances, it isn't a shower.  I have no idea if most of the group would know what "no host" means.  

I think your example sounds a bit formal and cold.  

Any alternative wording suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

I believe this is just a PORTION of the invitation, not the invitation in it's entirety. 

Correct.  The statement about "no host" would follow all the what/when/where information. 

This might sound odd, but how will the invitation be sent?  I just ask because if I were to receive a nice engraved invitation on quality paper and found out I'd have to pay my own way, I'd probably wonder why the hostesses couldn't have used the money for invitations towards springing for some finger food instead.  There's a bit of a disconnect, you know?  Kinda like seeing an ultra-formal wedding invitation and then finding out the reception is a backyard BBQ and shoes are optional.  

But if the invitation is sent via e-vite or email, you can easily say something to the effect of "We will be going Dutch on this luncheon.  Please contribute $X to cover Mommy-to-be's meal."

[Veronica]

I saw this posted on another board.  It is supposedly from Emily Post but I didn't find the original posting:

Q. How do you send an invitation to about 10 people for a small lunch get together just to celebrate a friend having her 4th child (not an official shower, just a little intimate time as friends)? Also, how do I let the people know that we'll all be paying for our own lunch?


A. "Encore showers" can be fun for both the expectant mother and her friends. These showers or
the small luncheon you describe should be limited to close relatives and very close friends. Due to the
intimacy of the event, there is no need to send invitations. In addition, written invitations are not sent to
guests for an event where they are expected to pay their own way.

Instead, make it a group effort and make it clear that you are only the organizer, not the hostess. In this case, the phone works best. "Sally, a bunch of us were thinking of treating Janie to lunch before the baby arrives. It will be at noon at Chez Harry on August 4th. It's Dutch treat (or, we are splitting the bill), and we will all split Janie's meal." You don't want anyone to be surprised at the event, so make sure they are aware of the payment arrangements ahead of time.

[Chocolate Cake]

 I just ask because if I were to receive a nice engraved invitation on quality paper and found out I'd have to pay my own way, I'd probably wonder why the hostesses couldn't have used the money for invitations towards springing for some finger food instead.

Very good, common sense point.  It definitely won't be a fancy invit.  I was just planning to quickly print up all the details on a 1/2 sheet and distribute it by hand. 

The idea of the calls is good, too, and the "Dutch Treat" wording is perfect! 

[Sibby]

I like hte Emily Post answer,  Iwas going to suggest the invite be super casual - email or phone calls.  And I was going to suggest that it be worded something like "A bunch of us were thinking it'd be fun to all go out to dinner to celebrate.  I's not a party per say as we'd each be expected to split the bill (covering the bride's meal).  Here's the details...."

[twinkletoes]

I like the Emily Post answer.  I like the idea of calling everyone up and then following up with an email - it helps to have the place, date, time, etc., in writing!

[Jaywalker]

it seems extremely weird to be 'no hosting' a dinner in honor of a woman having her 4th child?  why would someone have a big formal to do at a restaurant for that?

I would think that such an event would be planned among close friends -- and thus you would just call them and say 'we thought it would be fun to get together before Betsy's baby is born and take her to dinner to celebrate -- we would plan to meet at X restaurant on Friday the 12th -- and everyone will chip in a bit to cover her dinner.'

this is not an occasion when a formal invitation is appropriate or inviting people who are not very close friends is appropriate

[Chocolate Cake]

Who said it was going to be a formal invitation? 
Who said it was going to be a "big formal to do"? 
Who said that it wasn't going to be among close friends only? 

Please read my posts more carefully because none of these assumptions is correct.

[Jaywalker]

sending out invitations cold i.e. without discussing it all with those attending is 'formal'  -- if it were not a 'formal' affair with invitations rather than a group getting together to spend time, there wouldn't be all this fuss about the wording

if the first hint of the event I get is a written invitation in the mail -- it is now a big to do and not the kind of intimate informal event that might be suitable

[Chocolate Cake]

The paper invitation is simply easier given that there are lots of details that I may or may not have time to relay via 16 separate phone calls.

It is a very informal occasion, but think what you want, make the assumptions you want.