News: There is a new Ehell Kindness Project!  Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • June 29, 2016, 06:54:36 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: Librarians: One Book Club Member Drives Away All Others? Wooing them back?  (Read 9710 times)

5 Members and 3 Guests are viewing this topic.

sammycat

  • Member
  • Posts: 7390
It's sad how the needs of the good library patrons are less important than this one SS moron.

Pod.

eltf177

  • Member
  • Posts: 300
Ultimately, we can make all the suggestions we want, and the OP can have the biggest desire in the world to implement them, but with spineless gutless managers operating in the background, it's all moot.
Agreed. Most of the libraries I've been a member of would probably ban him and if he entered he would be asked politely to leave and security would be called.

It's sad how the needs of the good library patrons are less important than this one SS moron.

Agreed, unless management steps up and takes action there's nothing Yarnspinner or anyone else can do.

And agreed that the needs of too many others are being unmet due to management's bizarre need to cater to this thief who should have been perma-banned and NOT catered too!

blarg314

  • Member
  • Posts: 8978

In my experience it's pretty common for the most obnoxious, most likely to throw a tantrum person to be catered to over reasonable people.

The people who leave the book club because of Obnoxious Guy's behaviour do so quietly. They might grumble to friends, but they don't cause a scene.  If they try to ban Obnoxious Guy, there' s a good chance there will be a scene - some combination of temper tantrum, vandalism, threats, bad publicity, complaints to managers (or the board, or the press), all playing the victim to the hilt. The management, naturally, doesn't want to deal with that, so they placate Obnoxious Guy, either by not challenging him in the first place, or by caving in and backing him against the staff who has to deal with him on a day-to-day basis.


sammycat

  • Member
  • Posts: 7390

In my experience it's pretty common for the most obnoxious, most likely to throw a tantrum person to be catered to over reasonable people.

The people who leave the book club because of Obnoxious Guy's behaviour do so quietly. They might grumble to friends, but they don't cause a scene.  If they try to ban Obnoxious Guy, there' s a good chance there will be a scene - some combination of temper tantrum, vandalism, threats, bad publicity, complaints to managers (or the board, or the press), all playing the victim to the hilt. The management, naturally, doesn't want to deal with that, so they placate Obnoxious Guy, either by not challenging him in the first place, or by caving in and backing him against the staff who has to deal with him on a day-to-day basis.

Sad but true.

eltf177

  • Member
  • Posts: 300
blarg314 has hit it right on the head... :'(

TomatoBunny

  • Member
  • Posts: 164
The two of us run book clubs at our respective branches. One patron goes to both book clubs.

The only thing I can think of, and it seems it would probably help your coworker more than you, is that both book clubs be scheduled at the same time. Then he'd only be able to attend one of them and the other club could be 'annoying guy' free... assuming he wouldn't bounce back and forth between them, every other meeting or something.  :-\

kittyhugger35

  • Cat wrangler and professional bunny hugger. -I love soft things!
  • Member
  • Posts: 315
I have been in situations like this too. It isn't even an America only problem. While living abroad in France a local library started a language exchange hour which was dominated by one creepy French guy. I complained and I got the same reaction. We are a library and we can't ban members and that this guy has been chasing people away for awhile.

This being said I have had much better experiences with meet up groups from meet up.com. They are controlled by private individuals and if someone doesn't behave they can and will be asked to leave. Can you encourage someone with leadership skills to create their own book club and help them reserve space in the library?

To me, that is probably the only solution to the problem.
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

EllenS

  • Member
  • Posts: 4317
  • I write whimsical vintage mysteries.
    • My Author Page:
I have been in situations like this too. It isn't even an America only problem. While living abroad in France a local library started a language exchange hour which was dominated by one creepy French guy. I complained and I got the same reaction. We are a library and we can't ban members and that this guy has been chasing people away for awhile.

This being said I have had much better experiences with meet up groups from meet up.com. They are controlled by private individuals and if someone doesn't behave they can and will be asked to leave. Can you encourage someone with leadership skills to create their own book club and help them reserve space in the library?

To me, that is probably the only solution to the problem.

That's a good idea. Our local library lends space freely for book clubs, but does not necessarily organize or manage them.

greencat

  • Member
  • Posts: 4153
  • Trap...Neuter...What was that third thing again?
Sorry, OP, but it looks like your best bet is to inform your boss that no one wants to participate in book club anymore due to this guy's actions, and that you feel like it is a waste of library resources (i.e. your time) to run a "book club" that consists solely of listening to him rant.

Yarnspinner

  • Member
  • Posts: 4380
I don't believe it.  Just as I am ready to call it quits after no one showed for the last book except Oliver....two people have come in to get the book for next month.  *sigh* I really was kind of hoping to shut it down.....



Mel the Redcap

  • Scheming Foreign Hussy!
  • Member
  • Posts: 1791
Time to get really serious about moderating his behaviour, then!

...good luck.   :-\
"Set aphasia to stun!"

mime

  • Member
  • Posts: 1424
Do they know about Oliver, or are they new to the clubs?