Author Topic: What did you just say to me?  (Read 4952 times)

0 Members and 4 Guests are viewing this topic.

Shalamar

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1287
Re: What did you just say to me?
« Reply #30 on: Yesterday at 01:46:46 PM »
When I was a secretary, my boss asked me to wrap up the Christmas presents he'd bought for some of his clients.  (Aside:  he was not supposed to buy them presents, and they were not supposed to accept them.  There seemed to be an unspoken agreement to ignore that little rule, however.)  Anyway, I said in dismay "But I'm terrible at wrapping presents.  And is that really part of my job?"  His attitude was basically "You're a woman, so yeah, it's part of your job." 

I showed him, though.  I did such a rotten job, he never asked me again.  (I didn't do it badly on purpose - as I'd warned him, I'm awful at wrapping gifts.   They always look like a drunk chimpanzee did them with his feet.)
« Last Edit: Yesterday at 01:48:30 PM by Shalamar »

Polly

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 182
Re: What did you just say to me?
« Reply #31 on: Yesterday at 06:48:15 PM »
In this same vein, I actually fired a guy a couple of weeks ago for something he said to me.  Please keep in mind I'm a supervisor in an industrial setting and while I won't say we're ruder than office people, we tend on the whole to be more blunt-speaking.  The young guy was a new hire and giving me, his supervisor, serious attitude.  He'd only been with us a week.  I warned him quite sternly about his attitude and told him that if he was going to stay with us, he was going to have to start addressing people...the office ladies in particular....more respectfully.  He kind of sniffed, then said, (whited out, it's really offensive)"Whatever, you probably just sucked your way to the top."


I didn't even pause.  I marched him into Bossman's office and to repeat to Bossman what he'd just said to me.  He wouldn't, so I did.   Bossman asked him, "Did you really just say that?"  NewHire nodded but all the attitude was gone.  He seemed to realise he'd stepped way over the line so he asked, "Are you going to fire me?"  Bossman (who is a big part of why I love my job) said, "Nope.  I'm going to let her do it."   

I didn't drag it out.  I told him to get his stuff, then Bossman escorted him out.

I was going to say the new hire was a piece of slime, but I really hope he was young, stupid and naive and learned his lesson - not because he lost his job but because what happened really forced him to look at himself.

Your boss is awesome  8)

The worst I have had (which doesn't even compare) is when, after two days in meetings with the Dean, me as Director of X in Our College, and a Director of X in Partner Company, the latter turned to me at close of business on day 2 and asked 'And who are you anyway? Are you the Dean's secretary?' And yes, I had been introduced, on more than one occasion. He must have thought I was a fairly uppity secretary to keep butting in like I did - even invited myself to lunch!




LifeOnPluto

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6734
    • Blog
Re: What did you just say to me?
« Reply #32 on: Yesterday at 09:18:11 PM »
In this same vein, I actually fired a guy a couple of weeks ago for something he said to me.  Please keep in mind I'm a supervisor in an industrial setting and while I won't say we're ruder than office people, we tend on the whole to be more blunt-speaking.  The young guy was a new hire and giving me, his supervisor, serious attitude.  He'd only been with us a week.  I warned him quite sternly about his attitude and told him that if he was going to stay with us, he was going to have to start addressing people...the office ladies in particular....more respectfully.  He kind of sniffed, then said, (whited out, it's really offensive)"Whatever, you probably just sucked your way to the top."


I didn't even pause.  I marched him into Bossman's office and to repeat to Bossman what he'd just said to me.  He wouldn't, so I did.   Bossman asked him, "Did you really just say that?"  NewHire nodded but all the attitude was gone.  He seemed to realise he'd stepped way over the line so he asked, "Are you going to fire me?"  Bossman (who is a big part of why I love my job) said, "Nope.  I'm going to let her do it."   

I didn't drag it out.  I told him to get his stuff, then Bossman escorted him out.

I was going to say the new hire was a piece of slime, but I really hope he was young, stupid and naive and learned his lesson - not because he lost his job but because what happened really forced him to look at himself.

Your boss is awesome  8)

The worst I have had (which doesn't even compare) is when, after two days in meetings with the Dean, me as Director of X in Our College, and a Director of X in Partner Company, the latter turned to me at close of business on day 2 and asked 'And who are you anyway? Are you the Dean's secretary?' And yes, I had been introduced, on more than one occasion. He must have thought I was a fairly uppity secretary to keep butting in like I did - even invited myself to lunch!

In my region, a Secretary is the highest position in a government department. It's the public service equivalent to a CEO of a major company.

I've heard stories of female Secretaries actually being treated like office secretaries (eg guests ordering them to "give me a pen to take notes!" in meetings) not realising they are actually the highest ranking person there.

TaterTot

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 44
Re: What did you just say to me?
« Reply #33 on: Yesterday at 10:48:05 PM »
I do the button sewing in our house.  Anything else that needs sewing, LadyTango does herself or asks her mother for help.

I also learned to sew buttons when I was in the Boy Scouts.  I also sewed the patches onto my uniform and one time made an emergency repair on my sleeping bag with fishing line and a fish hook (I used my Leatherman to straighten the hook and remove the barb).

When I sew a button onto a piece of clothing, that button will not come off until the button breaks or someone cuts the thread.  I figure if I have to take the time to get out the needle and thread, I'm going to make sure I never have to get out the needle and thread for that particular button again.

As a man (who can sew), how would you react if your manager asked you to sew a button on his shirt while he was wearing it?  (Just curious about the male perspective.)

The first thought that went through my head when I read Ladyknight1's comment was "And how are you going to get the blood stains out?"  If my manager was a guy, that would probably be my response.  If he really needed it done quickly, I'd tell him to take his shirt off and sit in his under shirt for a few minutes.

My boss is actually a woman, and I have no idea how I'd respond to that request if it came from her.

The response should be "That's not part of job description/duties." Unless you are a tailor/sewer.

SoCalVal

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2625
Re: What did you just say to me?
« Reply #34 on: Yesterday at 10:56:31 PM »
These sewing stories remind me of one I'd read a few years ago (don't remember if it were here).  Some guy had split his pants while he was walking on the street in NY and popped into the first place he saw that did tailoring.  The poster said everyone in the shop refused to fix his pants (and were a bit icked out).  He'd split the seat and wasn't wearing any underwear (eww eww *ewwwwww*).



Twik

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 28738
Re: What did you just say to me?
« Reply #35 on: Today at 09:51:10 AM »
I was going to say the new hire was a piece of slime, but I really hope he was young, stupid and naive and learned his lesson - not because he lost his job but because what happened really forced him to look at himself.

Young, stupid and na´ve doesn't really do justice to a worker who refuses to follow a superior's orders by responding with a gross sexual slur. This is someone with a serious chip on his shoulder, and I suspect he will still, on his last day, be convinced that his life has been terrible because everyone else had it inexplicably in for him.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

Kimblee

  • I look good in white....
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6735
  • "Hugs don't go Boom." "They don't? Since when?"
    • My Blog
Re: What did you just say to me?
« Reply #36 on: Today at 11:11:01 AM »

DH - Boy Scout/Scout Leader for 28 years, in the military for 8. He picked out the new sewing machine and has done 100% of the sewing on it.

Yeah, my little brother (now a CW5 in the Army, so serious military here, and uber manly without being in the least macho and stupid--the good kind of "manly") is the one who sews. All those patches, etc.

My rather large and somewhat frightening, former marine uncle once tacked the lining back into a strange lady's skirt. With her permission of course.

We were at some government building (might've been a court house?) seeing social workers to determine if my uncle would be allowed to remain a foster parents since he and my aunt were getting a divorce and both wanted to remain foster parents, just separately. A case worker had put down that she didn't think he could handle the "delicate parts" of foster parenthood alone, but since he had been a foster dad for years, he was going to be interviewed or something to make sure he would be good with the kids? I was only thirteen or so, I don't remember it well. I was there to be a witness to my uncle's skills with kids.

The woman was walking past and while slipping past someone caught the back of the skirt on a cabinet and tore the lining loose so it was hanging. She was asking people for a safety pin and my uncle told her he didn't have a pin, but he had a pocket sewing kit, and if she would stand there for a minute he could tack it in place so she could fix it when she got off work. (Because nothing says "I'm a great dad" like offering to put your arms up a stranger's skirt, right?)

She agreed and they went into a corner for him to do it. At that point his youngest natural child was in his 20's, his adopted kids were all either teens, or all but one were(depends whether I was thirteen or twelve, that cousin and I share a birthday  down to about two hours of each other.), and he had three fosters at home. He knew his way around repairing clothes. He had it done quick and she went off.

Then we went in for our interview.... With the poor woman who ripped her skirt. Turns out she was the head honcho that got to decide if he was a good fit for kids. She did listen to all of us kids, and decided that he was a great dad and could remain a single foster parent, but I sometimes wonder if the skirt repair had any bearing on her decision.

And after all of that, during a weekend away so they could get their paperwork in order and sign for the divorce, my aunt and uncle ended up having a change of heart, turned it into a second honeymoon and are still married. Ain't love grand.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/Sassycelticmoon
<a href="http://knitmeter.com/" title="Get Your Own KnitMeter">" border="0[/url]

DanaJ

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 279
Re: What did you just say to me?
« Reply #37 on: Today at 11:33:14 AM »
I was going to say the new hire was a piece of slime, but I really hope he was young, stupid and naive and learned his lesson - not because he lost his job but because what happened really forced him to look at himself.

Young, stupid and na´ve doesn't really do justice to a worker who refuses to follow a superior's orders by responding with a gross sexual slur. This is someone with a serious chip on his shoulder, and I suspect he will still, on his last day, be convinced that his life has been terrible because everyone else had it inexplicably in for him.

I agree. There is being "young and stupid" leading one to make a horrendous faux pas, but his behavior was so willfully over-the-top offensive it just can't be chalked up to a na´ve kid who needs to learn proper workplace behavior. There is no social situation where what he said would have been okay. And quite a few where it probably would have resulted in him getting punched in the mouth.

For a time, I worked in an industry that had a fairly... "coarse" culture. It was very common for example for our clients and salespeople to drop the f-bomb in casual conversation. A client might call up and in a very friendly tone say "Oh, hi Dana. Where's that a&$hole, Dave? That f@%#er was supposed to call me back about a delivery date for my order." This would not be an angry customer, it was a friendly customer who was just bantering on the phone a bit. It was normal and I wouldn't have batted an eye to hear it.

But what GreenEyeHawk described? Not a single one of our most foul-mouthed employees would have insulted a superior like that. Not even in a joking context. That kid would have been thrown out of the building so fast his feet wouldn't have touched the floor on the way out.

Jocelyn

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3228
Re: What did you just say to me?
« Reply #38 on: Today at 12:22:12 PM »
Just out of curiousity, would it make it difference if boss/worker asked the whole office, 'does anyone know how to sew? I lost a button and need it sewn back on please.'
That, to me would be an ideal way to go about it.
I'd respond with, 'Here is a safety pin to hold your shirt closed, until you can get to whomever normally sews the buttons on your shirt.'
I can sew, for sure, but sewing a button on a shirt that's still warm from a co-worker's body just has an EWWW factor for me.

Shalamar

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1287
Re: What did you just say to me?
« Reply #39 on: Today at 02:00:03 PM »
I'm a computer programmer with over 25 years in the business, and I've been at my current job for over 10 years.  I'm also the social committee rep for my floor.  Unfortunately, when a new hire was introduced to me, it was done thusly:  "This is Shalamar.  She's the Social Committee rep for our floor."  Sigh.  That meant that the new hire thought that I was a glorified clerk, and every time I tried to train him (which our boss had told me to do), he smiled condescendingly and said "I'll wait to talk to (Boss) about that."

Luckily, when he tried to do so (he approached her during coffee break and said "I need to talk to you about my training"), Boss said incredulously "What?  Not going to happen; I'm much too busy.  Talk to Shalamar, she's the one who's going to train you."   He took me a bit more seriously after that.

Deetee

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5739
Re: What did you just say to me?
« Reply #40 on: Today at 02:45:45 PM »
In this same vein, I actually fired a guy a couple of weeks ago for something he said to me.  Please keep in mind I'm a supervisor in an industrial setting and while I won't say we're ruder than office people, we tend on the whole to be more blunt-speaking.  The young guy was a new hire and giving me, his supervisor, serious attitude.  He'd only been with us a week.  I warned him quite sternly about his attitude and told him that if he was going to stay with us, he was going to have to start addressing people...the office ladies in particular....more respectfully.  He kind of sniffed, then said, (whited out, it's really offensive)"Whatever, you probably just sucked your way to the top."


I didn't even pause.  I marched him into Bossman's office and to repeat to Bossman what he'd just said to me.  He wouldn't, so I did.   Bossman asked him, "Did you really just say that?"  NewHire nodded but all the attitude was gone.  He seemed to realise he'd stepped way over the line so he asked, "Are you going to fire me?"  Bossman (who is a big part of why I love my job) said, "Nope.  I'm going to let her do it."   

I didn't drag it out.  I told him to get his stuff, then Bossman escorted him out.

I just fell in love with boss. That was the perfect, perfect response.

And good on you for immediate action.