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  • May 29, 2016, 08:36:33 AM

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Author Topic: Managing people that you don't care for personally  (Read 1212 times)

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bopper

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Re: Managing people that you don't care for personally
« Reply #15 on: May 27, 2016, 12:40:30 PM »
Actually, the break thing I'm a bit on her side. Employees needing time off for medical purposes is a PTO situation and should be covered in an Employee/Employer relationship, not Employee/Employee relationship. The coworker who needed the exception should have laid that burden (even if small) on you, not on their coworker.

The annoying employee could have a valid reason like need to eat at a certain time or had a meeting...that is why you ask what the reasoning was.

Peppergirl

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Re: Managing people that you don't care for personally
« Reply #16 on: May 27, 2016, 12:43:42 PM »
It could very well be. As I said, if it weren't part of a larger pattern it wouldn't be nearly as frustrating. 

If it were a person that declined the trade but is generally flexible and helpful most of the time, I would not bat an eye about it. 

It's rapidly becoming a 'jerk with crackers' situation for me, and I need to work on it.  At least I have the self-awareness to know it's an issue.  Trying to focus on the little bit of positive, I suppose.

lilfox

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Re: Managing people that you don't care for personally
« Reply #17 on: May 27, 2016, 01:14:54 PM »
I had a colleague like that.  She was dismissive and imperious to me right from the start, mostly because I had nothing to offer her (I was new, she was not).  Her first impression on me never changed and the only times she ever spoke to me (or most others) was when she wanted something.  Pretty telling that when she finally left the company the only people who thought it was our loss were the ones she needed stuff from and so was nice to.

I can tell you how Not to manage someone like that - her long time manager completely enabled her, which meant she never had to change her bad attitude.  He gave in to every request she made.  He would listen to coworker complaints against her and nod sympathetically, but nothing changed.  It hurt morale, for sure, and it also made the manager seem highly ineffective (which he was for multiple reasons).

Towards the end of her time at the company, that manager retired and the new one tried to hold her accountable for deliverables and for even showing up to the office more than once a month.  That didn't work directly, but it did mean that eventually she was only assigned to do generic make-work stuff, which contributed to her leaving.  Sometimes just making it clear that the rules apply to them, yes really, or there will be consequences can have its own corrective result.

I did have to "manage" a coworker for a brief time and I didn't enjoy working with him.  I learned to be proactive whenever I knew I would have to talk to him - I would do it early in the day partly to get it over with, but partly because I still had plenty of energy and could maintain a smiling pleasant demeanor.  And it had the added benefit of keeping things pretty short because I could always end the conversations by saying I better get going with my other tasks.

oogyda

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Re: Managing people that you don't care for personally
« Reply #18 on: Yesterday at 08:15:54 AM »
Annoying employee is not required to report what she is doing or has scheduled during her break.  It's scheduled time off and therefore, personal time. 

There are so many possibilities of what she might be doing during that time that I just won't even try to point them out.  Just bear in mind they could be extremely personal and time sensitive. 

I do agree that you could ask her to explain herself, but be absolutely prepared to accept an answer of "It's personal and I would prefer not to." 

I understand the thought of getting other employee her meds sooner so she feels better sooner, but if she was so bad off, perhaps she should have taken a sick day. 
It's not what we gather along the way that matters.  It's what we scatter.

pattycake

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Re: Managing people that you don't care for personally
« Reply #19 on: Yesterday at 09:50:01 AM »
Generally breaks are scheduled by the employer and can be changed by the employer, even in a union environment. I think that OP was well within her rights to ask the employee to change breaks, and when told no, to ask why not, as the "asking" usually is just a formality meaning they really want to change it or they wouldn't have asked. There's nothing so personal that you can't give some oblique reason for (I have to go to the fertility clinic is too personal but I have a dr. appt. isn't). An employer can just say "we're changing your break for reasons", though that would certainly add to the tension in this situation. Also, when you work with people long enough, you get to know if they are just being ornery, and it sounds like OP has worked with this person long enough to know that, as any reasonable person would have offered up some sort of answer.

rigs32

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Re: Managing people that you don't care for personally
« Reply #20 on: Yesterday at 07:35:10 PM »
I'm not sure why it's ok for the company to be inflexible about allowing th sick employee to pick up her meds while the other employee is on break, but it's not ok that the other employee refuse to alter her schedule.


lollylegs

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Re: Managing people that you don't care for personally
« Reply #21 on: Today at 12:02:04 AM »
I'm not sure why it's ok for the company to be inflexible about allowing th sick employee to pick up her meds while the other employee is on break, but it's not ok that the other employee refuse to alter her schedule.

I wonder why the employee needed to use her break time to pick up meds that would allow her to keep working. It seems to me it should be the responsibility of the employer to allow her to go during working hours and not the responsibility of another worker to trade breaks. I realise the OP said this was just one example, but that seems more selfish and inflexible to me than any actions by the employee.

Runningstar

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Re: Managing people that you don't care for personally
« Reply #22 on: Today at 07:31:27 AM »
I think that the best managers are those that are pleasant and yet not overly familiar.  Are great to work for, yet you know that you just don't cross them.  The few good managers I have worked for kept it all professional and would ask you straight out why you did or didn't do something.  So, in your example about the break, the employee that was asked to switch breaks - you should have first found out if this is her decision or if it is something that you can control.  Then, if it is in your control, tell her nicely and give her a chance to speak of any issues with it.  You could find out that she does have some compelling reason that she needed to take the break then. 


sidi-ji

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Re: Managing people that you don't care for personally
« Reply #23 on: Today at 08:23:31 AM »
The management company(mc) is the problem, or rather the mc's  inability to loosen the reins a bit and allow common,common,adjustments to schedules to be decided by  the supervisors on hand.

This should never have become an incident, rarely should have involved any other employee, be they ever so obliging.  *

The "overlap" in breaks is a red herring. If a 20(?)minute absence is this crucial there should not be an overlap.  That is just built-in drama fodder.

However this is not your topic.  Bad or unhelpful attitudes are difficult to nail in the moment, and difficult to document.  Bad conduct is something that can be challenged immediately and firmly. You are becoming.  Becoming a very good manager= hard work.   :)

The selfish worker is not the only person in your workplace who puts their self-interest above others.  She just flaunts it. So this is a preview of things to come.  Arm yourself.

Your job is to fit her in the "team" with all of the angles and extra parts.  Good luck.

I am not saying that a quick fix of a trade should never happen, just that it should not be a yoke on the rest of the  crew.