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  • July 26, 2016, 07:16:59 AM

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Author Topic: The shortcut -- am I being unreasonable?  (Read 730 times)

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lorelai

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Re: The shortcut -- am I being unreasonable?
« Reply #15 on: Yesterday at 10:29:36 PM »
I might say with a smile, "wait I'm the prima Donna in this situation?" If he can joke, so can you.

starry diadem

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Re: The shortcut -- am I being unreasonable?
« Reply #16 on: Today at 12:02:44 AM »
If someone is the only person doing something, then you can't help but "single someone out" when you need to talk to him about how his behavior affects you.  I spoke to our manager more about the extreme vehemence of his response than the actual issue.   

Sure, and I think that picking on the behaviour of walking by your desk is a poor choice for singling out a colleague in your first month at a new job.

Just out of interest, how long should DCGirl have waited?  From her OP, he was't just walking past, he was walkingpastthisclose. That can be very hard to endure.
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browzer11

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Re: The shortcut -- am I being unreasonable?
« Reply #17 on: Today at 01:45:10 AM »
Your first month on the job and you singled someone out because you can feel a breeze as he goes by?  Wow.

Keep your resume up to date.

MrTango ... report him for harassment? Seriously?

cross_patch

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Re: The shortcut -- am I being unreasonable?
« Reply #18 on: Today at 02:03:26 AM »
I'd tell John that you're done dealing with his comments about you changing cubes and that if he makes one more comment about it, you're going to go to HR and report him for harassment.  If he makes one more comment, even if it's immediately after you give him his one warning, report it.

For example
John: *makes a comment*
You: "John.  That's enough.  I'm not going to put up with you harassing me about this.  If you make one more comment about my cube move, I'm going to report you for harassment."
John: "Oh, you're such a whiner."
You: "Excuse me." *march directly to whoever you need to speak with about his harassment*

I don't think that is a good idea for someone who has on,y been on the job for a month.

Yeah, that is just crazy adversarial. On the other hand, I don't think the OP is in danger of being sacked as the last poster implied. I'm sure there's a middle ground between the two.

I actually agree with surianne, that it's probably not the greatest impression this early on. I might have framed it as general foot traffic that makes it hard to Skype, rather than singling or a co-worker. I don't think there's an issue with saying the current set up is not working generally, but I wouldn't have singled John put as the sole cause first up. I think it comes across as maybe a bit out of touch with office norms (or these office norms, specifically).

Margo

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Re: The shortcut -- am I being unreasonable?
« Reply #19 on: Today at 06:35:54 AM »
I'd probably go with something like, "John, I had to keep muting work calls because you were talking on your Bluetooth and kept walking by. You didn't want to change what you were doing, so I did. It's fixed now. Can you give it a rest?"

I think this is the sensible way forward. The only change I'd make is instead of saying "so I did" I'd say "So manager changed my cube" and perhaps not add the 'give it a rest' comment.

Be sure to use a cheerful, very matter-of-fact tone. If he makes further comments after that, just smile and say "OK".

It's hard to keep baiting someone you don't get a rise out of.

I'd guess that either this guy is a jerk, in which case the rest of your co-workers sympathies will probably be with you, especially ifthey see that you aren't going to escalate it or try to get anyone else involved, or he has some specific issue with that particualar short cut  and is otherwise fairly reasonable, in which case the less fuss made about it the better.

I don't think that making a formal complaint or accusing him of harassment is in any way appropriate.

Zizi-K

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Re: The shortcut -- am I being unreasonable?
« Reply #20 on: Today at 06:43:19 AM »
John seems like kind of a jerk. You expressed your concerns politely, asked if you could come to some resolution, and he flat out refused to be an adult. Then, you solved the problem on your own, without requiring any change on his behalf, and now he's relentlessly teasing you?? Ugh. This guy needs to grow up.

I do think that complaining about the teasing would not look great to management. I think you should tease him right back.

Him: "Oh, so how's our little prima donna today?"
You: "Great, space invader, how are you?"

His kind of teasing is just being mean with a smile. No reason you can't fight fire with fire. He sounds like the kind of person who exploits weakness. You can quietly show him that you won't be cowed by his teasing.

DCGirl

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Re: The shortcut -- am I being unreasonable?
« Reply #21 on: Today at 06:44:56 AM »
I'm not going to report him to HR for harassment; that's way over the top.

For the posters who've fixated on the comment about the breeze, that was used as an example to illustrate just how close he's walking to my back.  It's not the sole reason that the situation makes me uncomfortable.

The move is going to take place today.  My manager told me this morning that he's also going to talk to John about his behavior.  All the cubes have one glass panel on their front wall.  Apparently, he likes to sneak up to another woman's glass panel when she's in deep concentration on her tasks and yell "boo!" just to watch her jump.  (I heard that from her this morning.) 

Margo

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Re: The shortcut -- am I being unreasonable?
« Reply #22 on: Today at 07:03:36 AM »
he sounds like a real charmer :/
With that update, it may be that our manager was pleased that you spoke to her, sometimes it can be dificult when managers are aware that one employee is causing problems, but no-one is actually prepared to stick their head above the parapet and make a formal complaint or actually raise the issue. You may have made it much easier for them to address John's beheaviour generally, and your co-workers probably know he is a jerk, too.