Celebrity Etiquitte. Would that be... Celebriquette?

[Mrs. Eclipse]

Okay, I don't know if this discussion is really relevant to everyday life... but I would like some advice on what to do.  I really want to be friendly and polite about this.  I'd ask my family, but they're sick of hearing about this guy.

THE BACKSTORY (Dun dun DUN):
So there's this character that I recently decided I liked.  While I was looking up stuff about him on the internet I found his voice actor, who's actually a blues musician.  I don't know how famous the musician is, but he seems pretty huge in some circles.  He's played with a lot of famous people and all he does now for work is tour and sell CDs.  And mugs.  You gotta be famous to be on a mug, right? 

So I wrote to him, asking if he was in fact the character (I mentioned I was doing research and that his name came up.) He emailed me back within the hour to say yes, he was, and if I was doing research he'd be glad to answer my questions.

We went back and forth a few times.  He said that he'd be happy to answer my questions as long as I shared what I found out.  He said, "And let me know what you find out.  I'm suddenly interested!"  I even got him to sign a picture of the character for me, through mail.

So here's where the etiquette question comes into play.  I wrote him a thank-you email, thanks so much for the autograph, and telling him that I wasn't doing any more research so I wouldn't be sending any more questions, followed by... a really incoherent sentence.  I was trying to catch up on my email while I was unable to sleep.  Bad idea.  He called me on it, and I apologized for not making any sense, and we haven't spoken since.  That was a little over a week ago.

Now.  I have a few more questions that have been bugging me, that I'd like to ask (he did leave the door open to ask questions whenever I wanted in his first email, but it was a very vague statement so I don't know if it still applies) and I found a little more information, but I'm not sure whether or not he's still interested.  As in, did he not write me back because he had nothing to say, or because my last two emails bugged him or something.

I want to write him back, but I'm worried.  I mean, I'm not sure how busy he is and I'm honestly not sure if he's genuinely glad to talk to me or if he's just a very polite man.  I'd hate to feel I'm bothering him and wasting his time.  I also sort of gush when I talk to him. And, frankly, after that last email, I'll bet he's regretting sending me his address! (joke)  What would be right?  What would be polite?  Should I just let it go and focus on other things, or can you help me figure out what to say to him?

Also, I want to give out specific details on an as-needed basis, as most of the stuff was part of our personal conversations and I'm not comfortable sharing it unless it will help us figure out the situation.  That's why I didn't give out the names of the musician or the character, either.  I hope that's okay.

Another thing I thought of, though, is that I sent the email to info @ hiswebsite.com and he emailed me back with hisaddress @ aol.com.  Think that means anything?

[ZipTheWonder]

Public people who are smart about their careers are polite to everyone they encounter.  A musician never knows when a 'fan' is a producer or when an email contact has a connection that is of value to him.  So, for the most part, I would assume that his interest in your communication is mostly a smart career move for an aspiring musician. 

As to whether you should continue to contact him, I am guessing you are the only one who can decide, because you are the only one who knows whether he might have felt your comment justified terminating.  Personally, if I felt that things had cooled because of discomfort on his part with something I'd said, I'd probably leave the conversation closed.  But, only you can really decide whether that's necessary.

[EvilAlice]

So here's where the etiquette question comes into play.  I wrote him a thank-you email, thanks so much for the autograph, and telling him that I wasn't doing any more research so I wouldn't be sending any more questions, followed by... a really  incoherent sentence.  I was trying to catch up on my email while I was unable to sleep.  Bad idea.  He called me on it, and I apologized for not making any sense, and we haven't spoken since.  That was a little over a week ago.

What do you mean by he "called you on it"?  Did he just let you know that you didn't make sense, or did he say it in a sort of disgusted way that made you think he's sick of you?

I don't see what you have to lose by sending another e-mail just saying again that you appreciate his help, that it made your project much more interesting, and because of that you've thought of a few more questions you'd like to ask, if he doesn't mind.  If you have any additional info you can give him from your research, that would be nice too.  This makes it more a natural progression of the research and how interesting it was, and doesn't seem stalker-ish.   

[Mrs. Eclipse]

Uh, he just pointed out that he didn't know what I meant in that one paragraph (the whole paragraph was one sentence) in a "what did you mean" sort of way.  Very polite about it, he was.  He didn't talk like he's sick of me, but that doesn't mean he isn't and I'm not good at being able to tell the difference.

And I have told him some of the stuff I found out, too, but just stuff I'm sort of sure he wouldn't have already known.

[IndianInlaw]

If you were wasting his time, he most likely is adept at telling  people to take a hike.

You could always "remember" something else to mention.

You have nothing to lose here.




By the way, Judy Collins used to have an email address on her website, by which you could email her.  I did and she responded.

JUDY COLLINS!

For one brief shining moment, Judy Collins was aware of my presence in the world

I can die now.

[MadMadge43]

First off, when you write to people on their website e-mail, it gets directed to their actual e-mail, to which they then reply and therefore you get their real e-mail address. It is proper to continue using this.

Everyone, and not just celebrities love hearing about themselves. So if you do have more questions now that are professional, just be a little gushy, but not too gusy.

Dear MegaGod,

Turns out I do have one more questions......

I also wanted to let you know that I found this additional information that I thought might be of some interest to you.....I really do appreciate your help and can not believe I am so lucky to have someone like you be so nice about providing this information.

Thank you so much,

Biggest Fan ever!

This way they're still getting something for their helping you. A little info, and a little wow aren't I special. But nothing too over the top, or they'll smell a rat.