Author Topic: I'm not taking 2 days of vacation time for YOU to take a vacation!  (Read 10574 times)

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Sandi Papaya

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I'm not taking 2 days of vacation time for YOU to take a vacation!
« on: September 20, 2008, 06:19:11 AM »
My aunt's husband drives me up the wall.

He wanted to take my aunt to Vegas for her birthday as a surprise, and have my mom and me fly down to Southern California (we live in the northern half of the state) to watch their kids for the weekend. Great, fine, whatever. Her birthday is on October 11th. The problem?

My niece and nephew's 2nd birthday is October 12th, and they are actually having their birthday party on the 11th. My mom refuses to miss the twins' birthday to go babysit someone else's kids, which is understandable as the twins are her grandchildren. I had actually (unintentionally) made plans to be in Southern California that weekend to pick up my Disneyland Annual Pass (which has to be done before 10/29) and visit my aunt for her birthday, but that was before I knew the actual date of the party. Oops.

When my mom told him about the twins' party, he was unhappy but he understood. He then called my middle aunt, who declined on the grounds that she was going to the twins' party, too. He said, "You'd be helping celebrate your sister's birthday; isn't that more important than the twins'?" My aunt said, "No; I'm not invited to my sister's birthday celebration."

Now, he's decided to push the trip back to November 6-9. All very well and good, except that this particular set of dates would necessitate me taking 2 days off work. (To add insult to injury, he copied me (and my mom) on the mass email to the friends he's inviting, detailing the trip plans, etc - all for a trip on which we are not invited. Couldn't he have just sent us a separate email with the dates and asked if they worked for us?) I'm trying to save up my vacation days for the holidays so that I can take a New Year's trip to Chicago, and at any rate, I'm not going to take 2 days of vacation time so someone else can go on a vacation while I'm stuck watching their kids. My response to his latest email?

"I'm sorry, but that just won't be possible."

I'm sure my aunt would have a right fit if she found out he hasn't even offered to pay our airfare or anything.


Couch2B

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Re: I'm not taking 2 days of vacation time for YOU to take a vacation!
« Reply #1 on: September 20, 2008, 03:10:26 PM »
I'm sure my aunt would have a right fit if she found out he hasn't even offered to pay our airfare or anything.

I read your post thinking "Well, at least he's covering air fare/housing/food for them..."

WHAT NERVE!

You're absolutely right in saying no.

Trisha

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Re: I'm not taking 2 days of vacation time for YOU to take a vacation!
« Reply #2 on: September 21, 2008, 02:16:19 PM »
Good for you for saying no!

rashea

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Re: I'm not taking 2 days of vacation time for YOU to take a vacation!
« Reply #3 on: September 21, 2008, 04:26:16 PM »
Hmmm, let's see, you want me to pay to fly down there, cook, clean, and watch after your kids for a week while you go on vacation, and I would have to take 2 days vacation. NO!

Good for you.
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sammycat

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Re: I'm not taking 2 days of vacation time for YOU to take a vacation!
« Reply #4 on: September 21, 2008, 09:03:51 PM »
Does southern CA not have babysitters?  Is that why they have to all be imported?

Sandi Papaya

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Re: I'm not taking 2 days of vacation time for YOU to take a vacation!
« Reply #5 on: September 21, 2008, 11:02:28 PM »
Does southern CA not have babysitters?  Is that why they have to all be imported?

No, they do have babysitters - but babysitters charge by the hour, usually.

Family doesn't charge (nor would I even think of charging them), but they do like to be thought of. It would have been nice if he'd offered to pay at least our airfare.

Alida

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Re: I'm not taking 2 days of vacation time for YOU to take a vacation!
« Reply #6 on: September 22, 2008, 12:07:58 AM »
Yay for you!  How can he truly think you'd be honored to lose your vacation time and pay for your own airfare in order to watch his kids?

This is not what we call a vacation!

hope

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Re: I'm not taking 2 days of vacation time for YOU to take a vacation!
« Reply #7 on: September 22, 2008, 05:35:56 PM »
That would be one big $$$ present you would be giving her!  2 days of your vacation time, and 48 of free babysitting, plus the cost of an airline ticket.  No is a complete sentence.

LAT

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Re: I'm not taking 2 days of vacation time for YOU to take a vacation!
« Reply #8 on: September 24, 2008, 12:57:56 PM »
They're not paying airfare?  Bzzzt. Loser. Good for you.

LJM

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Re: I'm not taking 2 days of vacation time for YOU to take a vacation!
« Reply #9 on: February 04, 2009, 04:22:08 PM »
Does southern CA not have babysitters?  Is that why they have to all be imported?

No, they do have babysitters - but babysitters charge by the hour, usually.

Family doesn't charge (nor would I even think of charging them), but they do like to be thought of. It would have been nice if he'd offered to pay at least our airfare.

Sounds like it would be cheaper for you to just pay for them to hire a babysitter. Would a paid babysitter really cost more than airfare, etc.? Having someone fly down seems an odd way of saving money.

HonorH

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Re: I'm not taking 2 days of vacation time for YOU to take a vacation!
« Reply #10 on: February 16, 2009, 02:35:22 AM »
Okay, so, let me get this straight: rather than pay for a babysitter--or, heck, even have the kids stay the weekend at a friend's place--he's decided it makes more sense to have a couple of relatives fly down on their own dime to watch the kids for two days so he can take Auntie somewhere?

My brain just cramped up.
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sbtier

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Re: I'm not taking 2 days of vacation time for YOU to take a vacation!
« Reply #11 on: February 17, 2009, 02:55:48 PM »
My brother once had my mother and sister fly from MA to CA to babysit his kids for a week while he and his wife went on vacation.  He and his wife make about a combined 300K per year, but my mother paid for her ticket.  Need I say she's elderly and lives on social security.

Midnight Kitty

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Re: I'm not taking 2 days of vacation time for YOU to take a vacation!
« Reply #12 on: February 17, 2009, 03:29:44 PM »
My brother once had my mother and sister fly from MA to CA to babysit his kids for a week while he and his wife went on vacation.  He and his wife make about a combined 300K per year, but my mother paid for her ticket.  Need I say she's elderly and lives on social security.
Does your mother have a speech impediment?  My husband has one.  He tries to say, "No," but it comes out, "N-n-n-yeah OK."

In my humble opinion, your brother does not respect or value your mother or sister.  Is it possible that MsMoonbunny's aunt married your brother? >:D Their approaches sound so similar ... maybe twins separated at birth. ;D
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Drunken Housewife

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Re: I'm not taking 2 days of vacation time for YOU to take a vacation!
« Reply #13 on: February 22, 2009, 02:14:34 AM »
Quote
Sounds like it would be cheaper for you to just pay for them to hire a babysitter. Would a paid babysitter really cost more than airfare, etc.? Having someone fly down seems an odd way of saving money.

Because it's not a way of saving money.  It's about the children's happiness and safety and the parents' peace of mind.

I will be having family fly in later this year so I can take my first ever vacation with my husband without children.  Why?  Because the children will be happier having their grandmother with them, and their grandmother will get some special bonding time with them. 

My cousin had her parents come from far, far away to care for her children last week.  Again, it's not about saving money.  It's because the children are better off with familiar relatives, and my aunt and uncle were happy to have quality time with their grandchildren.

The OP's case does not mean we should tar all parents who ask far-off family to come be with our children.   

In the OP's case, I agree with her that her relative should be aware he's asking for an expensive favor.  He certainly should offer to pay the airfare and be more sensitive.   
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Marbles

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Re: I'm not taking 2 days of vacation time for YOU to take a vacation!
« Reply #14 on: February 22, 2009, 03:17:07 AM »
Well done, OP!

When my mom told him about the twins' party, he was unhappy but he understood. He then called my middle aunt, who declined on the grounds that she was going to the twins' party, too. He said, "You'd be helping celebrate your sister's birthday; isn't that more important than the twins'?" My aunt said, "No; I'm not invited to my sister's birthday celebration."

Your aunt is fabulous, too! I love her response. :)